Feeding Frenzy

Mr. Plinkett:
Come in. Lock the door, please.

Call Girl:
Ummm. I'd rather leave it unlocked.

Mr. Plinkett:
And, I'd rather you didn't.

Call Girl:
*Sighs* Okay. Listen, Mister. I charge more for cripples.

Mr. Plinkett:
Why?

Call Girl:
Be-cause it's more work on MY part.

Mr. Plinkett:
Ah, I guess that makes sense.

Mr. Plinkett:
Eat it. Eat it with your mouth.

Mr. Plinkett:
Oh, here. You're probably going to need this biohazard kit. It's very likely that the tomato paste has aids in it.

Carl:
What is your dark secret, Jesse Camp? Ah, I don't give a sh*t.

Jesse Camp:
He's got some dirt on me, so I would love to get some dirt on him. That would even out the dirt field.

Mr. Plinkett:
Looking for something a**hole?

Jesse Camp:
No, Mr. Rowley left his checkbook.

Mr. Plinkett:
Well good for that grits eating motherf***er.

Jesse Camp:
There's a problem.

Martin:
You can't get it up?

Jesse Camp:
My boss, Mr. Plinkett.

Martin:
He can't get it up? Why do you know that?

Carl:
It's tea kettle night, at the VFW hall. Again.

Mr. Plinkett:
Eat lead, Commies!

Carl:
You can't have tea kettle night without a tea kettle.

Cassandra:
Oh have some fun you Republican.

Christine:
What would Kyle choose?

Jesse Camp:
Megan Sanders. I didn't even know her name, but I loved her.

Maris Hilton:
Welcome to my house, would you like to eat a piece of sh*t?

Jesse Camp:
Who are you? And what's wrong with your face?

Jesse Camp:
Just because I bring home a girl who's unconscious and covered in blood doesn't mean that there's a problem.

Mr. Plinkett:
Good evening and welcome to my hidden basement lair.

Maris Hilton:
Too bad for you it looks like it's gonna eat your penis.

Maris Hilton:
I go fist myself while you get eaten by a little goblin, right?

Mr. Plinkett:
I vowed to stop at nothing to bring them back. Well, except my other two sons, I guess they're f***ed.

Carl:
I was too late. I probably shouldn't have stopped at Taco Bell.

Christine:
I hate you Jesse Camp. You ruin everything!

Martin:
You saved my life Jesse Camp. In your own retarded way.

Martin:
Eat it with your mouth.

Claudia:
The toilet's broken? Oh, that's why everyone's been shitting in the bath tub!

Phil Davis:
Oh my god! My glasses are eating my f***ing eyes!

Mike Hilton:
Just a moment, I'm gonna put my guts back in.