Fighting Tools

[first lines]

Pvt. Snafu:
Oh, I'll be the war's greatest hero / With these guns I have nothing to fear-o / My guns are the best / They can pass any test / Oh, I'll be the war's greatest hero.

Pvt. Snafu:
Oh, I'm the world's best fighting machine-o / The Nazis will learn what I mean-o / My wonderful guns / Will murder the bums / And I'll bury them in the latrine-o.

[Pvt. Snafu rams his gun muzzle into the Nazi soldier's rear end]

Pvt. Snafu:
Stick 'em up, or I'll blow your brains out!

Nazi soldier:
That rifle looks a bit gooey / If you think I am scared you are screwy / Go on, fire away, buck / You're guns full of muck / And nothing comes out but just hooey.

[last lines]

[Snafu is a prisoner-of-war]

Nazi soldier:
Oh, like all careless gents / He winds up behind fence / Snafu is the war's greatest zero.

Nazi soldier:
[Private Snafu points a tank at him] Oh now I'm sunk I am thinking!

Mouse:
Oh you're perfectly safe I am thinking, it's musty and dusty and mighty damn rusty!