Freaky Friday

Anna (in Tess's body):
I can't marry Ryan. Eww.

Tess (in Anna's body):
We'd like to speak to you about something that we think happened to us at your restaurant.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Yeah, something that SUCKS.

Pei-Pei's Mom:
Coo-kie?

Tess (in Anna's body):
I don't believe in physical contact with the opposite sex. At all. Ever. Nothing.

Tess (in Anna's body):
I look like Stevie Nicks.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Who's he?

Tess (in Anna's body):
You pierced your navel?

Anna (in Tess's body):
Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.

Tess (in Anna's body):
When did you do this?

Anna (in Tess's body):
At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.

Tess (in Anna's body):
Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.

Anna (in Tess's body):
It's easy to be you. I'll just suck the fun out of everything.

Tess (in Anna's body):
I do not suck the fun out of everything.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Fun-sucker.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper.

Tess:
Root canal? That's not fair, they're not my teeth.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout? And cleaning: let's don't and say we did. Quality time with your kids: You know what? Quit bugging 'em. Leave 'em alone. They like it!

Anna (in Tess's body):
Let's just say this cute guy asks you out. What are you gonna do? WOOOH.

Anna (in Tess's body):
You mean we're like stuck in this SUCKFEST?

Ryan:
OK, where are we going next, Harry's school?

Anna (in Tess's body):
Oh, he can walk from here.

Harry:
It's 20 blocks!

Anna (in Tess's body):
Fresh air will do you good.

Harry:
But what about bullies?

Anna (in Tess's body):
Run fast.

Ryan:
One more day.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Yeah, it's great we're getting married, isn't it? Even though my husband died. How quickly I've been able to get over it.

Tess (in Anna's body):
Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us.

Anna (in Tess's body):
What are you?

Tess (in Anna's body):
It's me, Mom.

Anna (in Tess's body):
You're not my mother!

Tess (in Anna's body):
Yes, I am.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Get away, you clone freak!

Tess (in Anna's body):
Don't you use that tone with me!

Anna (in Tess's body):
Oh my God, you are my mother!

Anna (in Tess's body):
Darling. Could you, like, chill for a sec?

Tess (in Anna's body):
And what are you doing with this?

Anna (in Tess's body):
I'm eating.

Tess (in Anna's body):
You cannot eat fast food.

Anna (in Tess's body):
Why not?

Tess (in Anna's body):
Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!

Dottie Robertson:
Loved your book, I actually read this one.

Anna (in Tess's body):
That makes one of us.

Tess (in Anna's body):
She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!

Anna (in Tess's body):
So, let's do this thingy.

Ryan:
You mean our wedding rehearsal?

Anna (in Tess's body):
Yeah, whatever.

Ryan:
You know what, I'm not really a prying kind of guy, but just for the heck of it, I was wondering what you were doing on the eve of our wedding straddling some guy on the back of a big black Harley?

Anna (in Tess's body):
Hello, it was a Ducati!

Anna (in Tess's body):
Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.

Tess (in Anna's body):
Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.

Anna (in Tess's body):
So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...

Tess (in Anna's body):
Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay, you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready? Go!

Peg:
Aren't you like the maid of horror or something?

Anna:
You couldn't last one day in my high school.

Tess:
Actually I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.

Tess:
Honey, wake up.

Anna:
No.

Tess:
Anna. Greet the day.

Pei-Pei:
Mama! What are you doing? Mama! Grandpa! Harry! No!

Pei-Pei:
Okay!

Anna:
You're ruining my life!