Friends with Kids

Ben:
So, why didn't you guys ever even try to get together?

Jason Fryman:
It's too much familiarity. It's like she's one of my limbs.

Ben:
And that's bad, because...?

Jason Fryman:
Because I hate myself.

Jason Fryman:
You think that we don't love each other? You know, I have loved this girl for nineteen years, Ben. That is fully half my life. I know everything there is to know about her. I know the mood she's in when she wakes up in the morning - always happy, ready for the day. Can you imagine? I know that she is honest; she won't even take the little shampoo bottles from the hotel room, or sneak into the movie theater for a double feature. She always buys a second ticket. Always. I know that we have the same values, we have the same taste, we have the same sense of humor. I know that we both think that organized religion is completely full of sh*t. I know that if she is ever paralyzed from the neck down, she would like me to unplug her - and I will. I know her position on just about everything, and I am on board. I am on board with everything about her, so you tell me, Ben. What better woman could I have picked to be the mother of my child?

Jason Fryman:
Slow painful death by disease... or watching the love of your life die a slow painful death by disease?

Julie Keller:
A. Definitely A. Much worse to be without the person you love than to have a slow painful death. [... ] You?

Jason Fryman:
Oh, B.

Julie Keller:
Really? You would rather watch the love of your life die slowly and painfully?

Jason Fryman:
Well, it wouldn't be awesome, but better them than me. Got a lot of good years left.

Jason Fryman:
Please, please, just let me f*** the sh*t out of you right now. And if you're not convinced afterwards that I am into you in every possible way a person can be into another person, then I promise I will never try to kiss you, or f*** you, or impregnate you ever again, as long as I live.

Jason Fryman:
Julie, I love you, so much, as a friend.