Gamer

[For the first time, Kable is speaking with Simon, his controller in the game]

Kable:
What are you, twelve?

Simon:
I'm seventeen, thank you.

Kable:
This is unbelievable! Why am I not dead yet?

Simon:
Because I am a bad-ass motherf***er.

Ken Castle:
I hope one day to have the opportunity to breach your firewall, Miss Parker Smith. [kisses her hand]

[last lines]

Geek Leader:
Well played, Kable.

Kable:
Turn me around.

Female News Host #1:
On a personal note, that sh*t was f***ed up!

News Co-Host #1:
Yeah it was. I literally pissed myself.

Ken Castle:
[seeing Hackman] Look at it. The new face of Slayers. Pure, crystalized horror. Two stories high and bathed in bloody red. He is what they want.

Geek Leader:
They love Kable.

Ken Castle:
They do now, but when they watch their hero die right in front of their eyeballs so sharp and vivid it feels like you could reach out and touch the wet flesh, they're going to change their point of view. They'll be seduced by the power of violence; the dominance. It's human nature.

Geek Leader:
Kable's made it through 28 battles. Every player in the game has tried to take him out.

Ken Castle:
Yeah, Kable's the perfect soldier. He's a tactical killing computer. His only vulnerability is the nanex itself; the *ping*, the delay between Simon's commands and Kable's ability to execute.

Geek Leader:
So why should this one be any different? Who controls him?

Ken Castle:
[long pause] No one.

Upgrade Guard:
Who aims?

Kable:
What?

Upgrade Guard:
Who aims? The player or the slayer?

Kable:
I'm the hand. Someone, somewhere else is the eye.

Upgrade Guard:
That's tripped out, man.

Kable:
Sometimes, they take over completely. Move you around like a robot. But that don't work so good.

Upgrade Guard:
Why not?

Kable:
The delay.

Upgrade Guard:
Right, the "ping," they talk about that. The time it takes for the Slayer to respond to the player's commands.

Kable:
Whatever they call it, when you're in the game, a slice of a second is the difference between living and dying. When that trigger pulls... it's just me.

Hackman:
[singing] I've got no strings, so I have fun. I'm not tied up to anyone. They got strings, but you can see, there are no strings on me.

Simon:
Gibs.

Kable:
What?

Simon:
Like giblets. Kibbles 'n Bits. Chunks. Pieces. Everywhere.

Kable:
These are real humans f***er!

Simon:
Death row psychos, so what? They had it coming anyway, right?

Kable:
I guess that goes for me too.

Simon:
Yeah, but you're different.

Kable:
Different. How?

Simon:
I don't know, because you're *my* psycho.

Kable:
Kid's gonna get me killed.

Simon:
Dude, I'm right here man. I can hear you.

Kable:
Listen to me. I don't know who's behind it or why, but I was supposed to die tonight. Lucky for us, I can beat them, but not with you controlling me.

Simon:
What the hell are you talking about?

Kable:
Turn me loose, kid. You want to win? Turn me loose!

Humanz Brother:
This is not something you can control!

Simon:
I just play games, man. Games.

Humanz Brother:
That's right. It is a game. You want to win it, don't you?

Simon:
Yeah, I intend to.

Humanz Brother:
Well then you need to cut your strings, puppet master. Imagine a Slayer who don't got to wait to be told what to do. No ping, ya dig?

Kable:
I need you to get me something.

Trace:
What, Tillman?

Kable:
Drunk.

Simon:
What's the matter with you, Kable? Kill something!

Simon:
This is unbelievable. Kable, listen. This is the last game. You're gonna end up dead, and I'm going to look like a total a**hole if you don't pull your balls together man!

Simon:
[upon seeing Kable vomit in gas tank] Aw, what the hell? That's just gross, bro.

Angie:
Rick Rape, right? I thought you weren't allowed to come here anymore.

[Rick Rape laughs maniacally]

Rick Rape:
[calmly] That was last month. I was a bad boy.

[stretches latex pants]

Agent Keith:
You know, Simon, you're being held here today suspected in aiding in the escape of a convicted murderer from a maximum-security penitentiary. The charges are beyond serious. Your hard drives have been seized. Forensics is decrypting the contents as we speak. Your internet activity over the last ten years is being scrutinized and catalogued in minute, vivid detail. In addition, your father's bank accounts have been frozen, pending further investigation. After all, it was essentially his money that funded Mr. Tillman's escape. Now I need you to tell me *everything* that happened leading up to yesterday afternoon. Everybody you talked to, everything you saw, everything you did. And I need you to tell me that right now.

Simon:
Yeah, um... I'm going to need something, too.

Agent Keith:
Oh, really? And what might that be?

Simon:
Could you guys do a sandwich? Like peanut butter, almond butter, walnut butter, pecan butter, pistachio butter... um, pretty much any kind of, you know, nut butter? With some grape jelly?

[pause]

Agent Keith:
Pistachio butter... They make that?

Simon:
It's awesome.

Gorge:
What are you doing here? Who are you?

Geek Leader:
Tech support.

Ken Castle:
I'm wired too. I replaced 98% of my own noodle with nano-tissue years ago. But mine's different. It's built to send, to transmit, whereas every other nano-cell that I've put out there, including the ones in your head Kable, are designed to receive. I think it, you do it. We're talking every Slayer, everyone in Society city. I believe your better half would fall under that category, provided they were within range of my transmitters.

Kable:
Very nice, Castle. So you got an army of psychotics and deviants to dance around for you?

Ken Castle:
You're thinking small, Kable. But not as small as me.

[dips hands in dust]

Ken Castle:
See, nano-cells are real small. A thousand times smaller than these dust particulates. You inhale it, they go to work: replicating, spreading like a virus, multiplying in exponentials. Six months time, I can have a hundred million people converted. Ditch diggers, porn stars, and presidents. Not one would be the wiser. A hundred million people who buy what I want them to buy, vote how I want them to vote, do pretty much damn well anything I figure they ought to do. For instance... [Hackman attacks Kable]

Ken Castle:
[while struggling with Kable] I think it... you-f***ing-do-it!

Kable:
Look at this knife... imagine me sticking it into your gut. Think about it. Make it real!

[Slowly, the knife reverses and Kable stabs Castle in the gut. Castle screams and chokes]

Geek Leader:
Oops.

Kable:
[slams into a super-sized futuristic computer monitor, while trying to rescue his daughter] Oh, Delia!

Ken Castle:
Not bad for video, huh?

Kable:
What?

Ken Castle:
The latest and greatest, I defy you to tell it from real life... could you imagine porn on this thing?

Ken Castle:
[after Kable has beaten up his goons] You're awesome.

Ken Castle:
[singing] I've got you under my skin, I've got you deep in the heart of me...

Kable:
[to Hackman] You know your head ain't on straight?

Ken Castle:
Is this bad? I'm really bad.

Kable:
[after killing Hackman] You should have let him fight for himself. Maybe then he would have had a shot.

Ken Castle:
I think you're missing the point, my man.

Kable:
No, no, I get it. You're pulling all the strings around here. Which makes my next move pretty stupid...!

[He lunges at Castle with a knife, but freezes unexpectedly]

Ken Castle:
I neglected to mention my smart boys reversed that crack the Humanz worked for you. Easy-breezy, once I had access to their drives.

Simon:
[flipping through options on his computer] Gay... gay... gay... retardedly gay...