George of the Jungle 2

Narrator:
Huh? Wait a minute! Who the heck are you?

George:
Me new George. Studio too cheap to pay Brendan Fraser.

George Jr:
Ha ha ha. Let's go, dad!

Narrator:
How did you get the part?

George:
New George just lucky, I guess.

Narrator:
And in case you were worried, the new George takes a tree as well as Brendan Fraser.

Narrator:
Now that the prince is turning five, George is grooming his son to be the heir to the throne.

Narrator:
Uh... George, that's grooming him to be heir, not grooming his hair.

Narrator:
With Shep down for the count, George felt the need to rally his troops.

George:
Don't worry! George not know meaning of defeat! George not know meaning of most words. But especially defeat! And George will stand here just as long as George's name is...

George:
...Herb.

Ape:
I'm happy to see you too. What are you doing here?

George:
George here to help. Tookie say Ape in trouble. Broke. Busted. No Benjamins.

Ape:
Broke? It's all a big misunderstanding. I'm perfectly fine. That's why I'm... giving away all my furniture.

George:
George happy Ape perfectly fine. Only wish George perfectly fine.

Ape:
What's the matter?

George:
Ursula think George spend too much time with animals. Animals think George spend too much time with Ursula. George so upset, think about taking off neck crown.

Lyle:
I haven't been this disappointed since the sixth grade, when my sister stole my Shaun Cassidy lunchbox.

George:
George confused.

Lyle:
Shaun Cassidy was a popular TV character in the late 70s, along with Parker Stevenson. I followed both their careers, actually.

George:
George not confused about Shaun Cassidy, George confused about unhypnotizing.

Narrator:
Meanwhile, that dastardly duo of damsels, Sally and Kowalski, were searching every nook and cranny.

Narrator:
That's cranny, not granny!

George:
George realize that in order to save tree house, Bukuvu, and entire jungle lifestyle, George now have to hit women. But, in name of sportsmanship, George give woman fighting chance.

George:
Note to George. Rethink sportsmanship.

George:
Sorry George late, but George had important royal duty to tend to.

Ursula:
In other words, you were playing coconut ball.

George:
And George score winning goal. Maybe sometime Ursula come out and try for cheerleader.

Ursula:
I tried once, but the gorillas turned me down because I wasn't pretty enough.

George:
You look pretty to me.

Ursula:
Well, maybe you should tell that to the gorillas.

George:
George promise - tonight, spend whole night with Ursula. Okay?

Ursula:
Okay.

Ape:
George, I should've told you earlier, but I have some gambling debts that I have to pay off for a little while.

George:
How little?

Ape:
Seventeen years.

George:
George think maybe that might be too late.

George:
If George come home early, would Ursula still go out with George?

George:
George: Good.

George:
George lucky man. He's got Ursula, and Junior...

George:
...and really strong head.

Ursula:
Honey, I wouldn't worry about Junior swinging. He's the son of the greatest swinger of all time. How could he not learn how to swing?

George:
That make George happy.

George:
George so sorry George late. But zug zug treaty broke down and George had to step in.

George Jr:
P.U.

George:
George also make present.

George Jr:
Cool. Thanks, dad.

George Jr:
Woah, cool! A spear!

Ursula:
Honey? What's the matter

George:
What?

George:
AAH!

Ursula:
Good morning, mother. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't play with George's mind.

Beatrice:
Well, there isn't really much to play with, but all right.

Narrator:
Anxious to see his bankrubt bretheren Ape, but not wanting to stand out like a simian from the sticks, George made a stop.

George:
New George look pretty good in armani too.

Narrator:
Ferklempt at finally finding each other again, George and his brother Ape had a big, emotional reunion.

George:
Hi.

Ape:
Hello.

Narrator:
Oh, come on, you can do better than that.

Ape:
Get her a nice present to help scratch it.

Ursula:
A backscratcher.

George:
To help with itch.

Beatrice:
You remember my son-in-law, George.

Lyle:
I do. George, clearly the best man won, but no hard feelings. Shake?

Ursula:
What are you doing here? I mean, last time we saw you, you tried to have George killed, Ape captured, and dragged me off to marry you.

Lyle:
That actually wasn't me, kitten. That was the altitude sickness.

Kowalski:
Going somewhere?

Ape:
Who are you? Xena, Princess of Vegas?

Sally:
We'll see how funny you are when you're stuck in our special cage at the Van de Groot Zoo. In case you've forgotten, you still owe us 17 years of employment.

Kowalski:
Get moving.

Narrator:
Unaware of the threat both home and abroad, George and his extended jungle family took off on their first trip.

George Jr:
Look, look!

George:
Ooh. Las Vegas.

Ape:
I understand your concern, and if I return... uh, when I return, I will coordinate your schedule to the satisfaction of everyone. It's just a question of balance.

George:
George good at balance. See?

George:
George still worried about Ursula. She's lonely and she worried she not cook or clean as well as Ape.

Ape:
Well, she might have a point there

Beatrice:
We're dead meat.

Lyle:
I thought I was making progress.

Beatrice:
That ape has a better chance of running off with her than you do.

Lyle:
He does? Where have you heard?

Ursula:
There's something about that ape that feels really familiar.

Beatrice:
It's King Kong.

Ursula:
I thought King Kong was in black and white.

Beatrice:
Would you believe Hollywood? They colorized it.

Ursula:
Oh.

Ursula:
I can't help feeling that something's missing. That somewhere, out there, something's waiting for me.

George:
Sorry to surprise Ursula, but George can't take living without Ursula. George madly in love.

Ursula:
Look, I don't know who you are, but I'm married. Unfortunately.

George:
Right. George Ursula's husband.

George:
Ursula more confused than George. But no time to talk, Bukuvu in trouble. Must get back. George put Ursula first, then jungle, hmm?

Ursula:
Listen, I've never heard of the Bukuvu and Lyle's my husband. Thought I have to admit you are quite a character, and have these sinewy arms of a god! But I'm one of those old-fashioned types and I take my marriage vows very seriously.

Betsy:
Then can I have him?

George:
Sorry. George love Ursula more than anything in the world. Ursula mean everything to George.

Betsy:
Do you have any brothers at home?

George:
Have brother Ape.

Betsy:
Ooh, an ape.

Narrator:
See if you can spot our discreet product placement.

George:
That's my Shep. Yes, that's my Shep.

Ursula:
Oh, the elephant's wearing New Balance.

Ape:
I tell you George, it's good to be home.

George:
Maybe Tookie wrong, and Mean Lion not king. Jungle not look different.

Narrator:
Not different? Look at the signs, George! The signs! But George missed the signs, signs even an illiterate warthog would have noticed.

George:
Who's with George?

Tiger:
Why should we follow you, you care more about your family than us.

George:
Sure George care about family. Even half of family sleeping through best part of movie.

George:
But you've always been George's brothers and sisters, don't you remember?

George:
We took first steps together.

George:
And you taught me how to swim.

George:
And you were with me first time we read Playape magazine.

George:
Okay. George try something completely different. We few. We happy few. We band of brothers. For he today who sheds his fur with George shall be George's brother. And other animals in the jungle shall think themselves acursed they were not here. And when we get old, ye will remember with great pride what feats ye did today. Land all we have, George king, and king ask animals to join him and save homeland!

Narrator:
Feeling more alone than Sigfried without Roy, our dauntless daring defiant jungle gunslinger went out to save the Bukuvu.

Narrator:
But soon his friends joined him. Like the Magnificent Seven, if they hadn't been magnificent. And they consisted of a dim-witted king, an elephant who thought he was a dog, an ape, a bird, a little monkey, and a kangaroo. They marched, flew, and hopped out to meet the enemy.

Tookie:
Tookie Tookie!

Narrator:
And just between you and me, it didn't look good.

Narrator:
But, luckily for George, after a delayed reaction to his insouciant iambic pentameter, the jungle's other vacillating varmits joined the fight with their potent potentate. For those of you without a thesaurus, that's: After a delayed reaction to his speech, the other animals joined the bruhaha with their king.

Narrator:
George realized that the only way to win was to fight fire with... coconuts?

George:
George not hit women, so appreciate it if women not hit George.

Beatrice:
George, where do you keep the deed to Ape Mountain?

George:
George hide in butt flap.

George:
Can George give Junior vine swinging lesson before we eat?

Junior:
Vine swinging's a little dangerous.

George:
Must be from your side of family.

Junior:
Vine surfing is much cooler.

George:
What dangerous about swinging? Swinging fun! George show up.

Ursula:
Honey, maybe that's not such a good idea.

George:
Why? It easy!