Get a Clue

Lexy:
I'm surprise Ms. Stern doesn't have a nosebleed from being South on 14th Street

Jack:
That's funny, you don't seem to have a nosebleed

Jennifer:
Get a clue! He likes you, that's why he treats you like a reject from the outlet Mall.

Jack:
[to Lexy] That was, uh, some article.

Lexy:
Oh, you saw it?

Jack:
Yeah. Hedda Hopper had nothing on you.

Lexy:
Hedda who?

Jack:
You call yourself a writer. You should know. She was the most famous gossip columnist ever.

Lexy:
I am not a gossip columnist. I give advice. The article in the Daily Examiner is a human interest piece.

Jack:
Right. Sure it is.

Lexy:
Oh, no. That detective thinks that Miss Dawson has something to do with Mr. Walker's disappearance and it's my fault.

Jack:
Don't flatter yourself. She's the lead suspect without your big mouth.

Lexy:
The only thing she is guilty of is loving him.

Jack:
That's definitely a crime. Why can't you tell it like it is? She threatened him. We both heard it.

Lexy:
She didn't. She said this school wasn't big enough for the two of them. Besides, she's too petite to murder.

Jack:
Well, didn't you ever hear of Lizzie Borden?

Lexy:
I think I've heard of Dizzie Borden.

Jennifer:
Brooklyn? I am not schlepping out to Brooklyn.

Lexy:
Jennifer, a good spy does not question her assignment.

Jennifer:
So what? I'm not a good spy. I'll live.

Lexy:
[to Jack] You're scared, aren't you?

Jack:
I'm not scared. I didn't wanna upset the detective. He seemed kinda strange.

Lexy:
That's because he was not a detective.

Jack:
What? And you know this because?

Lexy:
Because a New York detective could never afford a platinum watch, a Pumoni suit and alligator boots.

Jack:
[to Lexy] Besides, how can you tell a Pumoni suit from across the room?

Lexy:
Trust me, I can spot a knockoff from a mile away and that was the real thing. Same with the watch. The best. Platinum band, 18-carat accents and mother-of-pearl dials that allow you to check any two time zones simultaneously. It's the ultimate in chic. Just call it my New York sensibility hard at work.

Jack:
Wow, who'd of thought that your insane obsession with material objects would come in handy?

Lexy:
I'll take that as a compliment.

Jack:
Look, Brooklyn's not fancy like the Upper East Side, okay? I like it here. Everybody's cool. I bet you don't know your neighbors, right?

Lexy:
We don't have neighbors. We own the whole floor, but I did meet the people below us when I overflowed the bathtub once.

Jack:
Right. Overflowed the bathtub.

Lexy:
[to Jack] So, what are all these trophies for?

Jack:
I like to bowl.

Lexy:
I hear that you have to wear shoes that other people have worn.

Jack:
Real bowlers have their own shoes. I'm not sure, but I think they have their own socks and underwear too, but that's the really good bowlers.