Gimme a Break!

Katie:
Dad, it's hard for Nell to stick to her diet when you're stuffing your face like that.

Chief:
I'm not stuffing.

Nell:
Right. He's eating for two in case he gets pregnant.

Chief:
See what happens? You take away their trough and they get vicious?

Nell:
It's no problem. I'm eating clean, lean, and healthy. After all, you are what you eat. Another helping of jackass, Chief?

Samantha:
What's a clich??

Nell:
[serving breakfast] A black woman serving pancakes to a white kid.

Bob:
Angie, you are too much! Can I order you something? Have you ever had a Black Russian?

Angie:
No, but I once spent the weekend with a one-legged Mexican.

Grandpa Stanley Kanisky:
Everybody leaving? Oh, I must have dozed off in the john and missed dinner.

Maxine:
I used to be a hooker.

Grandpa Stanley Kanisky:
You worked in a rug factory.

Maxine:
No Mr. Kanisky, I used to be a prostitute.

Grandpa Stanley Kanisky:
I always wanted Carl to take up the trade.

Chief:
I don't think you heard her right.

Chief:
Look Nell, I gotta protect my little brother. I've always taken him under my wing.

Nell:
Chief, the only wing your little brother can fit under is on a 747.

Chief:
You can stay in Nell's room.

Grandpa Stanley Kanisky:
I can't sleep in Nell's bed, she might roll over on top of me.

Chief:
It's time you and I had a father/ son talk.

Grandpa Stanley Kanisky:
You already have three children, Carl, there's nothing left for me to tell you.

Officer Ralph Simpson:
Nell, I really love these hors devours, especially the meatballs.

Nell:
Well, we are what we eat.