Girl Walks Into a Bar

Henry:
You're the kind of woman I bet looks great naked.

June:
Is it true that Mexican men love cunnilingus?

Francine Driver:
You wanna frisk me?

Nick:
I was under the impression a bar was like a church. A place where a man can be left alone to think in peace.

Henry:
You stole his Cadillac and he got mad so he shaved your head while you were sleeping, it wasn't very fatherly but it happened.

Kim:
Everyone always thinks dying in your sleep is the way to go, but it scares the hell out me. What if you're having a nightmare about being chased by someone or jumping off a cliff and then you have a heart attack and die?

Teresa:
All words have double meaning.

[last lines]

Henry:
You have this... intangible quality.

Francine Driver:
Try harder.

Henry:
I'm cursed by the blossoming knowledge of my feminine ideal & she looks suspiciously like you.

Francine Driver:
That's not bad.

Henry:
It's pretty good, you mean. Not a total waste.

Francine Driver:
How about the truth.

Henry:
The truth is you're not my usual type.

Francine Driver:
What's your usual type?

Henry:
Gaunt, fashionable and dumb, with a big square Appalachian ass and an obsession with country music.

Francine Driver:
Jesus.

Henry:
Will you at least consider it?

Francine Driver:
[sighs, rips up photo. Sighs. Smiles. Grins]

Henry:
You have this... intangible quality.

Francine Driver:
Try harder.

Henry:
I'm cursed by the blossoming knowledge of my feminine ideal & she looks suspiciously like you.

Francine Driver:
That's not bad.

Henry:
It's pretty good, you mean. Not a total waste.

Francine Driver:
How about the truth.

Henry:
The truth is you're not my usual type.

Francine Driver:
What's your usual type?

Henry:
Gaunt, fashionable and dumb, with a big square Appalachian ass and an obsession with country music.

Francine Driver:
Jesus.

Henry:
Will you at least consider it?

Francine Driver:
[sighs, rips up photo. Sighs. Smiles. Grins]

Sam Salazar:
I hear the words coming out of my mouth and I want to cry. But I can't remember the last time I cried. I make eye contact and nod, when I'm supposed to, spewing out platitudes plausible enough to ward off any argument. But what I really want to say is, "Did I mention you set my heart aflutter and make me feel all funny inside?" Heaven Forbid I go through with it, I'm the kinda guy that always bets on the wrong horse. Me. Samuel Salisar, at your service. They say women forget the physical pain of child birth right after the baby's born, that's how come they can start all over again and have another child. I guess I'm not like a woman at all because I have a crystal clear memory of every heartbreak I've suffered from the age of 9. I was only conversational then. Still I can't help but wonder if this could be a true happy ending. Or one more false hope. It's like a traffic accident, I know I shouldn't look but I cant turn away because in my heart of hearts, wherever that is, I know the answer does not lie within words, but within her eyes. The world is made up of a billion little mysteries, but it's not words that explain them. Of this I'm sure.

Sam Salazar:
You are unique. There are, I'm sure, uncommon things that you are particularly good at. Play to your strong suits, shine. Don't concentrate on things other people have told you you're no good at. Relish the talents you have. And always, always surround yourself with people that appreciate you.

Henry:
Hey sorry about that.

Francine Driver:
Oh, no problem.

Henry:
I'd like to make it up to you.

Francine Driver:
No need. I see you're the kind of guy that takes initiative.

Henry:
Is that bad?

Francine Driver:
No, it will serve you well. Don't they card people anymore?

Henry:
I'm older than I look.

Francine Driver:
12?

Henry:
Cheers. Henry.

Francine Driver:
Francine.

Henry:
Can I ask you a question Francine?

Francine Driver:
It depends.

Henry:
By some miracle of circumstance I happened to look over there and you were lifting your shirt for that guy.

Francine Driver:
Mm, that's not a question.

Henry:
My question, and call me a hopeless romantic, is about the extraordinary possibility of those being real. Could they be?

Francine Driver:
You need to grow up. And get a girlfriend.

Henry:
I have a girlfriend.

Francine Driver:
Where is she?

Henry:
Stood me up.

Francine Driver:
Aww, a tale of woe playing on my sympathy. Good luck with that.

[first lines]

Nick:
I, I'm sorry, I'm waiting for someone.

Francine Driver:
You are...

Nick:
Uh, under normal circumstances, I'd never turn you away, but this is a business meeting.

Francine Driver:
What kind of business are you in?

Nick:
Um, I work in real estate, corporate real estate.

Francine Driver:
What's your name?

Nick:
Look, I don't mean to be rude. I swear if you knew me, I'm the last guy to say no, to a beautiful...

Francine Driver:
Wow, you can't even tell me your name?

Nick:
Dennis.

Francine Driver:
I don't believe you.

Francine Driver:
A lot of guys don't have the ovaries for this job.

Dancer:
What occupies my thoughts is that I'm not a woman of action, I'm a woman of will. But it can't believe in my will unless I act from it.

Kim:
Me? I prefer to be amused than to be amusing.

Dodge:
Women are the most resilient creations. You can do anything you want to a woman, and maintain he respect. You can forget a romantic anniversary, you can cheat on her with her best friend, you can pop her in the rear once in a while just to change the pace of things. But you must never, never let her smell your poop.

Camilla:
[about her dad] He had Alzheimer's. I spent all Christmas with him watching soccer on TV. European League. He had no idea who was playing. He'd start rooting for a team, and then ask me who it was. I'd leave the room and I'd walk back in, and he'd greet me with this huge smile. Ask me all sorts of questions. Soon enough he didn't konw who I was, what anything was. Suddenly you realize that who we are is our memory. Life doesn't mean anything unless you can remember it.