Goats

Goat Man:
I'm a scientist, not a hippie.

[first lines]

Ellis Whitman:
Goat Man took me on my first trek when I was eleven. Not long after that he taught me how to do bong hits. It doesn't matter where we go on these treks, we just wander. Goat Man says it's the journey that counts, which I know is cliche. In a few days I leave for the prep school my father went to. Goat Man's calling this my farewell trek. He says I should suck up as much of the Sonoran sun as I can, but he's the one doing most of the soaking.

Goat Man:
Whew! You won't have all this at Gates Academy.

Ellis Whitman:
Naked men shouldn't squat.

Wendy:
No cells phones, no internet in the dorms, they force you to take Latin.

Shaman:
Tell us not to worry? I mean, Latin's a dead language. Useless.

Wendy:
I've got these miserable headaches since September. It starts in my heart - goes around my head - back down to my heart.

Goat Man:
I swear, you don't know want it's like having to ask Wendy for money.

Ellis Whitman:
Then get a job like a normal person.

Goat Man:
I'm not a normal person.

Ellis Whitman:
I went to Kill a Mockingbird, and at first I thought Atticus was sort of self-righteous. But by the end...

Frank Whitman:
Do you think there are people like Atticus Finch in real life?

Ellis Whitman:
I hope so.

Ellis Whitman:
He looks like Judy.

Frank Whitman:
Actually, he's a dead-ringer for you when you were a baby.

Barney:
You know it's a know fact that all babies look like old Jewish men...

[last lines]

Goat Man:
Hey, welcome home? [lighting up]

Ellis Whitman:
No thanks.

Goat Man:
I got plenty. Enough for the whole summer. The greenhouse is going strong.

Ellis Whitman:
I was thinking of maybe going to Telluride with Frank and Judy, and Gabrielle this summer.

Goat Man:
Gabrielle? That's the baby's name, Gabrielle?

Ellis Whitman:
Yeah.

Goat Man:
I think you should go. I think that'd be good for you. Yeah, that'd be good for you. [walks off]