Grand Theft Auto III

Donald Love:
Experience has taught me that a man like you can be very loyal for the right price, but groups of men get greedy.

Maria:
M-E-N, Oh, it's a dirty word but there's only three letters.

Maria:
You broadcasters are all the same, aren't you, I mean I heard about you, you're always out on boys nights!"

Lazlow:
Whoa, Whoa what are you talking about, I'm married!

Maria:
One of those convenience jobs to protect you, I bet? I know what you're all like! You know more about men than I know about leopard-skin furniture!

Salvatore Leone:
Hey, it's my favorite clean-up guy! I'm proud of you. You kicked the sh*t out of those grease-balls.

Lazlow:
Sir, this is a commercial radio station owned by Love Media. Advertising revenue pays my salary.

Lazlow:
So you think that teaching kids from an early age that violence is the solution to problems will make them valuable members of our society.

Lazlow:
Liberty City was a church, a cow pasture and three houses when the telephone was invented!

Lazlow:
You're the liar!

Lazlow:
What are you-are you-are you three years old?

Lazlow:
Shut up!

Lazlow:
Stupid!

Lazlow:
Eugh, we're going to commercials.

Reed Tucker:
Our ancestors didn't eat chicken wings, they lived at one with nature and their eco-system. Existing on a diet of nuts, berries and leafy vegetables.

Lazlow:
Yeah, and they threw stones at their own shadow and died of old age and fear at twenty-four!

Lazlow:
Now, can you tell me what this Australian-American war was... I never really heard of it!

Toni:
The Triads think they can mess with me? The Triads? With ME?

Lazlow Jones:
Get off! Get lost, you're just a cheap pimp from upstate get out of my studio!

Fernando Martinez:
I saved your daddy! I saved your husband! It is a miracle

Lazlow Jones:
Get out of here!

Fernando Martinez:
IT'S A MIRACLE!

Toni:
Oh she's on fire! Luckily I've never have been... I've done a lot of crazy things, I can tell you that... but I've never been on fire... at least not to my knowledge.

Lazlow Jones:
Well Toni...

Toni:
Toni? How did you know my name was Toni? Are you tracing this call, because if you are, you're gonna become real intimately acquainted with- what your brains look like. My name ain't Toni, okay?

Lazlow Jones:
Alright.

Toni:
But my mom she keeps goin, Toni, Toni be a real man stand up for yourself don't take no sh*t! But all I wanna do is to be a good son and show that she cares for me, show that she loves me, and you know, say I was a good kid but it seems like nothings ever good enough for her you know what I mean? What do I do?

Toni:
OK, I've had enough of this sh*t. We're gonna finish the Triads in Liberty once and for all! 8-Ball's rigged a dustcart with a bomb, so if you mess this up there'll be no evidence. Go and pick up the dustcart from 8-Ball's. Careful, 8-Ball says it's real sensitive and the slightest bump could set that thing off! Their fish factory will open its gates for a dustcart, so you can drive right in. Park up between the gas canisters and get the hell out of there! I want it to rain mackerel. We're talking real biblical here, nothing low budget.

Momma Cipriani:
Oh, its you. Toni ain't here. But he left one of his sugary love letters for you.

Toni:
We're at WAR! The Triads have a fish factory as a front. Most of their business goes down at the market it Chinatown. That laundry still owes us protection. They reckon the Triads are protecting them now, so I say we exact a fitting punishment. Take those boys over there and whack the Triad Warords! Hell, if you get a chance, pop some of their soldiers too.

Donald Love:
Nothing drives down real estate prices like a good old-fashioned gang war. Apart from an outbreak of plague, but that may be going too far in this case.

Joey:
"Chunky" Lee Chong is pushin' spank for some new game from Colombia... or Colorado. I don't know, who needs details anyway?

Lazlow:
Crap? Your organization is called CRAP? How many people are there in this crap?

Lazlow:
How many people?

Lazlow:
Wait a minute, you want to stop people from using the phone? But you're calling up on a phone to tell the world about it!

Ray Machowski:
That should flush and you'll hunt em' down! Make sure he never talks to nobody!

Lazlow:
This is really going nowhere. Do you have anything else to say?

Lazlow:
Look, I admire your enthusiasm and it sounds like a great rally, but we're not a political station and you have yet to tell me what this rally is about.

Jeff:
It's about justice, Mr. Low! Do you want to help out or not?

Lazlow:
I don't know what I'm helping.

Jeff:
You're helping America! It's a rally!

Lazlow:
You don't know what it's for, do you?

Jeff:
It's for hope.

Lazlow:
Okay, you fight the power, brother.

Lazlow:
Okay, how old is your son?

Lazlow:
How old is your son?

Lazlow:
Okay, that's enough of him. God, who gave this guy a green card?

Lazlow:
Hello, you're on Chatterbox.

Lazlow:
Okay, stop. This is a RADIO show. We do not have viewers, we have listeners.