Guardians of the Galaxy

Star-Lord / Peter Quill:
I was only a kid when I left Earth, and I had no idea what the universe had in store for me.

Star-Lord / Peter Quill:
I come from Earth, a planet of outlaws. My name is Peter Quill. ...There's one other name you may know me by. ...Star-Lord.

Star-Lord / Peter Quill:
You said it yourself, b*tch: We're the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Gamora:
It's time we stand up for what is right.

Gamora:
I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy.

Gamora:
I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies. I would be grateful to die surrounded by my friends.

Rocket Raccoon:
Ain't no thing like me, except me!

Rocket Raccoon:
We're the fricking Guardians of the Galaxy!

Rocket Raccoon:
You just wanna suck the joy outta everything!

Drax the Destroyer:
Nothing goes over my head! My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it.

Groot:
I am Groot.

Groot:
We are Groot.

Korath the Pursuer:
Drop it, now! [aiming his gun to Peter]

Peter Quill:
[Dropping the orb] Yep, okay. Cool, man. No problem, no problem, at all!

Korath the Pursuer:
Who are you?

Peter Quill:
My name is Peter Quill, but there's another name you might know me by... Star-Lord.

Korath the Pursuer:
Who?

Peter Quill:
Star-Lord, man! The legendary outlaw? Guys? [Korath raise his arms, showing he has no clue] Forget it.

Ronan the Accuser:
With all due respect, Thanos, your daughter made this mess, and yet you summon me?

The Other:
I would lower my voice, Accuser!

Ronan:
First, she lost a battle to some primitive.

The Other:
Thanos had put Gamora under your charge!

Ronan:
Then she was apprehended by the Nova Corps.

The Other:
You are the one, here, with nothing to show for him!

Ronan:
Your sources say she was meant to betray us the whole time!

The Other:
Lower your tone! I may be your-

[Ronan swings his hammer at the Other, killing him. He stares at Thanos, sat on his floating throne, his back to the Accuser.]

Ronan:
I only ask that you take this matter seriously.

[Thanos' throne turns, revealing him.]

Thanos:
The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me! Your demeanor is that of a pouting child. And, apparently, you alienated my favorite daughter, Gamora. I shall honor our agreement, Kree, if you bring me the Orb. But return to me again empty-handed, and I will bathe the star-ways in your blood!

Gamora:
And by the way... Your ship is filthy.

Peter Quill:
Filthy? She has no idea. If we had a blacklight, this thing would look like a Jackson Pollock painting.

Rocket Raccoon:
You got issues, Quill.

Gamora:
I'm a warrior, an assassin. I don't dance.

Peter Quill:
Really? Well, on my planet, we have a legend about people like you. It's called Footloose. And in it, a great hero, named Kevin Bacon, teaches an entire city full of people with sticks up their butts that, dancing, well, is the greatest thing there is.

Gamora:
Who put the sticks up their butts? That's cruel.

Rocket Raccoon:
Why would you wanna to save the galaxy!?

Peter Quill:
'Cause I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

Gamora:
We have to stop Ronan.

Rocket Raccoon:
How?

Peter Quill:
I have a plan.

Rocket Raccoon:
You've got a plan? Okay, first of all, you're copying me from when I said I had a plan.

Peter Quill:
I'm not copying you, I have a plan - that's not that unique of a thing to say.

Rocket Raccoon:
And secondly, I don't think you even have a plan.

Peter Quill:
I have... part of a plan.

Drax the Destroyer:
What percentage of a plan do you have?

Gamora:
You don't get to ask after the nonsense you pulled on Knowhere!

Drax the Destroyer:
I just saved Quill!

Peter Quill:
We've already established that you destroying the ship I'm on is not saving me!

Drax the Destroyer:
When did we establish that?

Peter Quill:
Like three seconds ago!

Drax the Destroyer:
Well, I wasn't listening then. I was thinking of something else.

Gamora:
[frustrated.] Oh!

Rocket Raccoon:
[to Drax.] She's right, you don't get a opinion. [to Quill.] What percentage?

Peter Quill:
I dunno... Twelve percent?

Rocket Raccoon:
Twelve percent? [Rocket breaks into raucous laughter]

Peter Quill:
That's a fake laugh.

Rocket Raccoon:
It's real!

Peter Quill:
Totally fake!

Rocket Raccoon:
That is the most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life, because that is not a plan!

Gamora:
It's barely a concept.

Peter Quill:
You're taking their side?

Groot:
I am Groot.

Rocket Raccoon:
So what, "It's better than eleven percent!" What the hell does that have to do with anything?

Peter Quill:
[To Groot] Thank you Groot! Thank you! See? Groot is the only one of you who has a clue. [Groot starts eating leaf on his shoulder]

[...]

Peter Quill:
I look around at us and you know what I see? Losers. [the others give him an off look.] I mean like, folks who have lost stuff. And we have, man, we have, all of us. Homes, and our families, normal lives. And you think life takes more than it gives, but not today. Today it's giving us something. It is giving us a chance.

Drax the Destroyer:
To do what?

Peter Quill:
...To give a sh*t, for once and not run away. I for one am not going to stand by and watch as Ronan wipes out billions of innocent lives.

Rocket Raccoon:
Quill... stopping Ronan... it's impossible. You're asking us to die.

Peter Quill:
Yeah. I guess I am.

[A pause.]

Gamora:
[stands up.] Quill, I have lived most of my life surrounded by my enemies. I will be grateful to die among my friends.

Drax the Destroyer:
[stands up.] You're an honourable man, Quill. I will fight beside you. And in the end, I will see my wife and daughter again.

Groot:
[stands up.] I am Groot.

[they look expectantly at Rocket.]

Rocket Raccoon:
[resigned sigh.] Aww, what the hell, I don't got that long a lifespan anyway. [stands up.] Well, now I'm standing. Happy? We're all standing now. Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.

Rhomann Dey:
He said that he may be an... "a-hole", but he's not, and I quote, "100% a dick".

Nova Prime:
Do you believe him?

Rhomann Dey:
Well, I don't know if I believe anyone is 100% a dick-

Nova Prime:
Do you believe he's here to help?

Rhomann Dey:
...Yeah, I do.

Peter Quill:
If you kill me, you're gonna miss the biggest score you've ever seen.

Yondu:
The Stone? I hope you gotta better idea 'cause no one ain't stealing from Ronan.

Peter Quill:
We got a ringer. [glances at Gamora] She knows everything there is about Ronan. His ship, how to get in...

Gamora:
He's vulnerable.

Peter Quill:
So what do you think? Me and you, taking down scores, just like old times?

[Yondu glares at Quill... then calls off his dart and hugs Quill]

Yondu:
[laughs] You always had balls, son! That's why we kept you as a youngling!

Korath the Pursuer:
Star-Lord!

Peter Quill:
Finally!

Peter Quill:
What should we do next? Something good or something bad, or a bit of both?

Gamora:
We'll follow your lead, Star-Lord.

Peter Quill:
A bit of both!

You're Welcome

All heroes start somewhere.

When things get bad, they'll do their worst.

From the studio that brought you "The Avengers"

Korath:
Drop it! [Aims his rifle at Quill]

Quill:
Uh... hey.

Korath:
[Gives an order to his men in his native language, then speaks to Quill] Drop it now!

Quill:
[Dropping the orb] Hey, okay. Cool, man. No problem. [The Sakaaran soldiers start to poke him with their Necroblasters] No problem. At all.

Korath:
[Picks up the orb] How do you know about this?

Quill:
I don't even know what that is. I'm just a junker, man. Just checkin' stuff out.

Korath:
You don't look like a junker; you're wearing Ravager garb.

Quill:
This is just an outfit, man. [Aside, to a Sakaaran soldier] Ninja Turtle, you better stop poking me!

Korath:
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!

Quill:
My name is Peter Quill! Okay? Dude, just chill out!

Korath:
MOVE!

Quill:
Why?

Korath:
Ronan may have questions for you.

Quill:
[Stalling] Hey, you know what? There's another name you might know me by! ...Star-Lord.

Korath:
[Confused] Who?

Quill:
[Disappointed] Star-Lord, man! The legendary outlaw? [Korath simply shrugs] Guys?

Korath:
MOVE!

Quill:
Oh, forget this.

Rocket:
If we're gonna get outta here, we gonna need to get into that watch tower, and to do that, I'm gonna need a few things. The guards wear security bands to control their ins and outs. I need one.

Gamora:
Leave it to me.

Rocket:
That dude there. I need his prosthetic leg.

Quill:
His leg?

Rocket:
Yeah. God knows I don't need the rest of him. Look at him. He's useless.

Quill:
... All right.

Rocket:
And finally, on the wall back there is a black panel. Blinky yellow light. You see it?

Quill:
Yeah.

Rocket:
There's a quarnex battery behind it. Purplish box. Green wires. To get into that watch tower, I definitely need it.

Gamora:
How are we supposed to do that?

Rocket:
Well, supposedly, these bald bodies find you attractive, so maybe you could work out some sort of trade.

Gamora:
[Groot starts walking toward the panel] You must be joking.

Rocket:
No, I really heard they find you attractive.

Quill:
Look. It's 20 feet up in the air and it's in the middle of the most heavily guarded part of the prison. It's impossible to get up there without being seen.

Rocket:
I got one plan, and that plan requires this frickin' quarnex battery, so FIGURE IT OUT!!! [Groot removes the panel, which hits a passing inmate on the head and knocks him out] Can I get back to it? Thanks. [Drax spots Groot trying to remove the battery] Now, this is important. Once the battery is removed, everything is gonna slam into emergency mode. Once we have it, we gotta move quickly, so you definitely need to get that last. [Groot removes the battery, setting off the alarms] ... Or we could just get it first and improvise.

Gamora:
I'll get the armband.

Quill:
Leg.

Quill:
Yeah, I'll have to agree with the walking thesaurus on that one.

Drax:
Do not ever call me a thesaurus.

Quill:
It's just a metaphor, dude.

Rocket:
His people are completely literal. Metaphors are gonna go over his head.

Drax:
Nothing goes over my head...! My reflexes are too fast, I would catch it.

Drax:
[To Quill] You! Man who has lain with an A'askvarian!

Quill:
[Miffed] It was just one time, man.

Drax:
[Points at Rocket] I recognize this animal! We'd roast them over a flame pit as children. Their flesh was quite delicious!

Rocket:
NOT! HELPING!

[Star-Lord notices Groot, Rocket and Drax fighting in the bar]

Quill:
Oh, no.

[He and Gamora step into the bar as the brawling continues; Gamora pulls Drax off of Groot]

Gamora:
Stop it!

[Rocket aims his rifle at Drax, but before he can fire, Star-Lord steps in to break it up]

Quill:
Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing?!

Drax:
This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!

Rocket:
That is true!

Drax:
He has no respect!

Rocket:
That is also true!

Quill:
HOLD ON! HOLD ON!

Rocket:
[Groot rubs his sore jaw, breathing fire] Keep callin' me "vermin", tough guy! You just wanna laugh at me, like everyone else!

Quill:
Rocket, you're drunk. All right? No one's laughing at you.

Rocket:
He thinks I'm some stupid thing! He does! [Crying] Well, I didn't ask to get made! I didn't ask to be torn apart and put back together over and over, and turned into some... some little monster!

Quill:
Rocket, no one's calling you a monster.

Rocket:
[Points at Drax] He called me "vermin"! She [Gamora] called me "rodent"! Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots through your FRICKIN' FACE! [Draws his rifle at Drax]

Quill:
No, no, no, no! FOUR BILLION UNITS!!! Rocket! Come on, man! Hey, suck it up for one more lousy night and you're rich!

[After an uneasy silence]

Rocket:
[He finally lowers his rifle] Fine. But I can't promise when all this is over, I'm not gonna kill every last one of you jerks.

Quill:
See?! [turning to Drax and Gamora] That's exactly why none of you have any friends! Five seconds after you meet somebody, you're already trying to kill them!

Drax:
We have traveled halfway across the quadrant...And Ronan is no closer to being dead.

Star-Lord:
[Drax turns around and storms off] Drax!

Gamora:
Let him go. We don't need him.

[After the Infinity Stone contained in the Orb destroys Tivan's museum]

Gamora:
How could I think Tivan could contain whatever was within the Orb?

Rocket:
[Altogether shocked and shaken] WHAT DO YOU STILL HAVE IT FOR!?!

Quill:
Well, what were we gonna do? Leave it in there?!

Rocket:
[Ignoring Quill] I can't believe you had that in your purse!

Quill:
[Defensive] It's not a purse; it's a knapsack!

Gamora:
We have to take this to the Nova Corps. There's a chance they can contain it.

Rocket:
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! We're wanted by the Nova Corps!! Just give it to Ronan!

Quill:
What, so he can destroy the galaxy?!

Rocket:
What are you? Some saint, all of a sudden? What has the galaxy ever done for you? Why would you wanna to save it?!

Quill:
Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it!

Nebula:
You are a disappointment, sister. Out of all our siblings, I hated you least.

Gamora:
Nebula, please. If Ronan gets this stone, he'll kill us all.

Nebula:
[Smiles cruelly] Not all of us. You will already be dead.

[After Quill and Gamora are captured by Yondu]

Rocket:
[Lands his pod right in front of Groot, who is seen helping Drax after his fight against Ronan, and gets out] Blasted idiot. They're all idiots. Quill just got himself captured! [Yelling at Drax] None of this ever would've happened if you didn't try to singlehandedly take on a FRICKIN' ARMY!

Drax:
[Ashamed] You're right. I was a fool. All the anger, all the rage... it was just to cover my loss.

[Groot lays a comforting hand on Drax's shoulder]

Rocket:
[After watching them for a moment, Rocket starts mocking Drax] "Aww, boo-hoo-hoo. My wife and child are dead." [Groot gasps at Rocket's mockery] Oh, I don't care if it's mean. Everybody's got dead people! It's no excuse to get everybody else dead along the way! Come on, Groot. Ronan has the Stone. The only chance we got is to get to the other side of the universe as fast as we can and maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to live full lives before that whackjob ever gets there.

Groot:
[Groot rises to his feet in defiance] I am Groot!

Rocket:
Save them? How?!

Groot:
I am Groot.

Rocket:
I know they're the only friends that we ever had! But there's an army of Ravagers around them, and there's only two of us!

Drax:
[Rises and stands next to Groot] ... Three.

[Rocket grunts to himself in frustration, and turns to soon kick the ground with his feet]

Rocket:
YOU'RE MAKIN'. ME. BEAT. UP. GRASS!!!

Ronan:
Bring you the orb, and you will destroy Xandar for me. However, now that I know it contains an Infinity Stone, I wonder what use I have for you.

Thanos:
BOY! I would reconsider your current course!

[Ronan opens up the orb and looks at the Power Stone inside]

Korath:
Master, you cannot!! Thanos is the most powerful being in the universe!

Ronan:
Not anymore. [He embeds the Infinity Stone in his warhammer and wields its power into his body] YOU CALL ME "BOY"?! I will unfurl one thousand years of Kree justice on Xandar AND BURN IT TO ITS CORE!!! Then, Thanos... I'm coming for you! [He ends his call to Thanos]

Nebula:
After Xandar, you're going to kill my father?

Ronan:
You dare to oppose me?

Nebula:
You see what he has turned me into. You kill him, and I will help you destroy a thousand planets.

Yondu:
When I picked you up as a kid, these boys wanted to eat you! They ain't never tasted Terran before! I saved your life!

Quill:
Oh, will you shut up about that?! God! Twenty years you've been throwing that in my face! Like it's some great thing, "not eating me"! Normal people don't even THINK about eating someone else! Much less, that person having to be grateful for it!

[Drax, Groot and Rocket track down the Ravagers who took Quill and Gamora]

Rocket:
Attention, idiots! The lunatic on the top of this craft is holding a Hadron Enforcer. It's a weapon of my own design.

Yondu:
What the hell?

Rocket:
If you don't hand over our companions now, he's gonna tear your ship a new one. A very big new one.

Yondu:
I ain't buyin' it.

Rocket:
I am giving you to the count of five. [Quill and Gamora start to panic] Five, four, three--

Quill:
No, wait! Hold on! Rocket, it's me! For God's sake! We figured it out! We're fine!

[Pause]

Rocket:
[Nonchalantly] Oh, hey, Quill. What's going on?

Rocket:
You call that 'figured it out'?! We're gonna rob the guys who just beat us senseless?!

Quill:
Oh, you wanna talk about 'senseless'? How about trying to save us by blowing us up?

Rocket:
We were only gonna blow you up if they didn't turn you over.

Quill:
And how on Earth were they gonna turn us over when you only gave 'em a count of five?!

Rocket:
Well, we didn't have time to work out the minutiae of the plan. [At Groot] This is what we get for acting altruistically!

Groot:
I am Groot.

Rocket:
They are ungrateful!

Denarian Saal:
Peter Quill, this is Denarian Saal of the Nova Corps. For the record, I advised them against trusting you here.

Quill:
[To Gamora] They got my dick message.

Saal:
Prove me wrong!

[Inside Ronan's ship, the Dark Aster]

Drax:
I can barely see.

[Groot releases a cloud of firefly-like spores, illuminating the hallway]

Drax:
[Awed] When did you learn to do that?

Quill:
Pretty sure the answer is "I am Groot." [Groot smiles and nods]

Drax:
I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am that you've accepted me despite my blunders. It is pleasing to once again have friends. You, Quill, are my friend.

Quill:
Thanks.

Drax:
This dumb tree, he is my friend.

[Groot grunts]

Drax:
And this green whore, she too is my--

Gamora:
OH, YOU MUST STOP!

[Nebula ambushes the team, bent on killing Gamora]

Nebula:
GAMORA! You've always been weak! You stupid, traitorous--

[Drax hits her point-blank with a shot from a bazooka]

Drax:
Nobody talks to my friends like that.

Korath:
Star-Lord!

Quill:
Finally!

[Groot intends to sacrifice himself to protect the others]

Rocket:
No, Groot! You can't. You'll die. [Starts crying] Why are you doing this?! Why?

[Groot wipes away Rocket's tears]

Groot:
We....are....Groot.

The Collector:
Before creation itself, there were six singularities. [he uses a device to unlock and open the orb] Then the universe exploded into existence, and the remnants of these systems were forged into concentrated ingots. Infinity Stones. These stones, it seems, can only be brandished by beings of extraordinary strength. Observe. [he shows them the giant beings that use the Infinity Stones as weapons] These carriers can use the stone to mow down entire civilizations like wheat in a field.

Quill:
There's a little pee coming out of me right now.

The Collector:
Once, for a moment, a group was able to share the energy amongst themselves, but even they were quickly destroyed by it. [the orb is opened to reveal an Infinity Stone] Beautiful. Beyond compare.

Gamora:
Your wife and child shall rest well, knowing that you have avenged them.

Drax:
Yes. Of course Ronan was only a puppet. It's really Thanos that I need to kill.

[Post-credits scene:
In the destroyed museum, a battered, beaten-up Collector in seen drinking in a green cup as Cosmo the Space Dog licks him.]

Howard the Duck:
What do you let it lick you like that for? Gross. [Takes a drink] Yeah! But it burns going down.

[The guardians trying to escape from the prison of Nova Corps and entered it's controo room.Rocket doing something in the control room.Then artificial gravity on the place where the nova corps are staying turns off and they float on the air unarmoured.]

[A GOTG theme music in the background]

Rocket:
I told you I have a plan

[Gamora smiling with happiness]

Gamora:
He turned off the artificial gravity!

Ronan:
They call me terrorist. Radical. Zealot. Because I obey the ancient laws of my people, the Kree, and punish those who do not. Because I do not forgive your people for taking the life of my father, and his father, and his father before him. A thousand years of war between us will not be forgotten!

Nova officer:
YOU CAN'T DO THIS! Our governments signed a peace treaty!

Ronan:
: My government knows no shame. You Xandarians and your culture are a disease.

Nova officer:
You will never rule Xandar...

Ronan:
No… I WILL CURE IT!

The Collector:
Oh, my dear Gamora. How wonderful to meet in the flesh. [he kisses her hand]

Gamora:
Let's bypass the formalities, Tivan. We have what we discussed. [as the Collector notices Groot]

The Collector:
What is that thing there?

Groot:
I am Groot. [the Collector goes over to Groot]

The Collector:
I never thought I'd meet a Groot. Sir, you must allow me to pay you now so that I may own your carcass. At the moment of your death, of course.

Groot:
I am Groot.

Rocket:
Why, so he could turn you into a frickin' chair?

The Collector:
[to Groot] That's your pet?

Rocket:
His what?! [Rocket goes to grab his weapon and the Collector chuckles, Gamora intervenes]

Gamora:
Tivan, we have been halfway around the galaxy, retrieving this orb.

The Collector:
Very well, then. Let us see what you brought.

Rocket:
Blah, blah, blah. We're all very fascinated, whitey. But we'd like to get paid.

The Collector:
How would you like to get paid?

Rocket:
What do you think, fancy man? Units!

The Collector:
Very well, then...

[Carina walks close to the Infinity Stone. The Collector notices her near it.]

The Collector:
Carina. Stand back.

Carina:
[last words] I WILL NO LONGER BE YOUR SLAVE!

The Collector:
NO!'

[She then grabs the Infinity Stone, but it's powerful. Quill and Gamora takes cover. She started screaming, Groot grabs Rocket to run out. Carina then explodes into her death. Tivan's museum started to explode as Rocket and Groot jumps out, yelling. Quill and Gamora peeks out.]

Quill:
[sees Tivan's museum destroyed] What the...

[After Quill saves Gamora from the space]

Gamora:
Quill? What happened?

Quill:
I saw you out there. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't let you die. I found something inside of myself. Something incredibly heroic. I mean, not to brag, but objectively... [Gamora sighs with frustration]

Gamora:
Where's the orb?

Quill:
It's...well, they got the orb.

Gamora:
What?! [just then a door opens and Yondu's men enter]

Kraglin:
Welcome home, Peter.