Help

Gary:
Whatever.

Peter:
Okay. And the other thing that I -

Gary:
Whatever!

Peter:
That I absolutely insist on -

Gary:
My niece does that. "Loser, loner, whatever - minger!"

Peter:
Right, the other thing that I -

Gary:
She's only six!

Peter:
Gosh, really. The other thing that I absolutely insist on...

Peter:
And I say to you, I say: Tell me, kind sir -

John Hardacre:
Hail!

Peter:
Yes, hail -

John Hardacre:
Well met, sir knight!

Peter:
Yeah, all right, and I say to you: In this brave new world, what line of work are you in? What do you do for a, you know, what's your bloody job?

John Hardacre:
And what do I say?

Peter:
You answer him, John.

John Hardacre:
Well, he wouldn't know what a TV chef was!

Peter:
TV chef.

John Hardacre:
He'd know what a chef was.

Peter:
TV chef.

John Hardacre:
But he wouldn't know what a TV was. Can I pick you up on something?

Peter:
Yeah.

John Hardacre:
A fletcher, I think, makes arrows, not crossbows.

Peter:
Yeah, whatever.

Peter:
All word association is, is I say a word and then you say the first word that comes into your head. Okay?

Mind Invader:
Bum.

Peter:
No, not yet.

Mind Invader:
Oh.

Peter:
I say a word first, then you.

Mind Invader:
Then I say the first word that comes into my head. Yes.

Peter:
Exactly. Okay. Ready? River.

Mind Invader:
River.

Peter:
Yeah.

Mind Invader:
Yeah. That was the first word that came into my head.

Peter:
Okay. That's the word I said.

Mind Invader:
Oh, well, that's probably why, then.

Peter:
Okay. It should be a word that you associate with the word I said. That's why it's called word association. Okay? It's what that word makes you think of.

Mind Invader:
Yeah. Okay.

Peter:
Ready? Death.

Mind Invader:
Death. ...That's what it makes me think of! You know, I mean, I hear the word death, I think of death. I can't help it.

Hypnosis Client:
I'm completely in your hands.

Peter:
Well, that's what hypnosis is all about - trust.

Hypnosis Client:
Okay.

Peter:
Now, I prefer to describe it as guided meditation.

Hypnosis Client:
Right.

Peter:
People have been doing this for thousands of years, and I think you'll find the results really can be quite astonishing.

Hypnosis Client:
Good, well, just tell me what to do, and, er...

Peter:
Okay. Just get comfortable in your chair and close your eyes. Now, let your breathing become very regular-

Hypnosis Client:
Wow! That is amazing!

Peter:
No, hang on-

Hypnosis Client:
It's just incredible!

Peter:
We haven't actually started-

Hypnosis Client:
It's huge! It's like a huge dome!

Peter:
Right.

Hypnosis Client:
That'll be the inside of my head, I suppose.

Peter:
This really isn't going to work if you keep interrupting.