Hemvärnets glada dagar

Kapten Sten Jern:
[last spoken lines] It is peace!

Kapten Sten Jern:
Where is your rifle?

Wille Frid:
It's at home. This is just a drill.

Kapten Sten Jern:
Do you think the enemy is in your home?

Wille Frid:
No, I'm not married.

Furir Fr?jd:
Captain! I ask for permission to suggest a lethal air defense.

Kapten Sten Jern:
Granted.

Furir Fr?jd:
I was thinking we could thrust some pitchforks into the ground, so when the russians land they get stabbed.

Kapten Sten Jern:
And how do we know they'll land where we've placed the pitchforks?

Furir Fr?jd:
Well, we place them where they land.

Kapten Sten Jern:
And how the hell will we... Oh dammit... [gives up]

Maj Blom:
So you've deserted?

Blenda Blixt:
Dessert? I haven't had supper yet.

Putte Rask:
You youths only think about sex. And that's not wrong.

Blenda Blixt:
[after seeing Werner Jern for the first time] What kind of cuckoo was that?

Bror Frisk:
[about his slingshot] With this I can hit a playing card from 100 metres.

Kapten Sten Jern:
Hell, that's good. [pauses, then shouts] If the russians attack with decks!

Wille Frid:
Captain! I would like to suggest a way to avoid the Soviet war machine.

Kapten Sten Jern:
Avoid it? How?

Wille Frid:
When we're on the battlefield, instead of splitting into two tents, we all sleep in one tent. When the russians bomb the empty tent, they'll believe they've killed half of us, but we sleep in the other one and we all survive.

Kapten Sten Jern:
What if they bomb the tent everybody's sleeping in?

Wille Frid:
Then we'll run like hell into the other one.

Kapten Sten Jern:
What if they bomb both of them?

Wille Frid:
[thinks for a while] Oh, no?

[pause]

Wille Frid:
Can they be such bastards?

Werner Jern:
[steps up] Father! We'll set up three tents.

Putte Rask:
[when seeing Frid's "battle tank" made out of a bike] You haven't thought about making a battleship out of a wheelbarrow?

Wille Frid:
A wheelbarrow? [thinks for a moment] The suggestion has been noted.

Blenda Blixt:
Me?

Maj Blom:
Yes.

Blenda Blixt:
Hard to get?

Maj Blom:
Yes.

Blenda Blixt:
You're insane.

Kapten Sten Jern:
Exit, damn you!

[repeated line]

Kapten Sten Jern:
Now it got tricky...