Hey Cinderella!

King Goshposh:
Featherstone, is that coach being pulled by a purple shaggy monster? And is that a frog driving?

Featherstone:
I'm afraid it is, sire.

King Goshposh:
Oh, thank heavens. I thought I was seeing things.

Cinderella:
Wow! That carriage ride was fast! How did you get that thing to run like that?

Kermit the Frog:
Oh, it's pretty simple. All you have to do is dangle a radish in front of him. [turns to the monster] Radish! Radish!

King Goshposh:
[at the punch bowl with Splurge] Are you sure I sent you an invitation?

Splurge:
[growling] The invitation said everyone except frogs.

King Goshposh:
Uh huh, that's true.

Splurge:
[growling] I'm not a frog.

King Goshposh:
You've got a point there.

Fairy Godmother:
[dancing with Splurge] Oh Splurge, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you with your mask on!

Wicked Stepmother:
[dancing with Splurge] Do you come here often?

Cinderella:
[as the clock strikes midnight] Oh my goodness, I have to go!

Prince Arthur Charming:
Oh, but you haven't even had any ice cream and cake.

Fairy Godmother:
Step on it!

Cinderella:
I'm coming!

Prince Arthur Charming:
Whoever heard of not staying for the ice cream and cake?

Cinderella:
I... I know but...

Prince Arthur Charming:
Hey, don't you want to see Dad open his presents?

Cinderella:
But, thank you for a lovely evening and please thank your father...

Prince Arthur Charming:
Wait! The night is young!

Cinderella:
Goodbye!

[Cinderella runs from the palace, accidentally leaving a glass slipper behind]

Prince Arthur Charming:
[following] Hey wait a minute! I don't even know who you...

[there is the sound of glass breaking as he steps forward]

King Goshposh:
Hey, what was that you stepped on son?

Prince Arthur Charming:
I don't know. It looks like it used to be some sort of glass shoe...

[repeated line]

Prince Arthur Charming:
Swell...

King Goshposh:
[accidentally summoned by the Fairy Godmother while drinking wine] Wow. Hey Featherstone, get the name of this stuff and order a case of it!

Prince Arthur Charming:
Hey Dad, we found the beautiful mysterious princess. She's Cinderella!

King Goshposh:
Oh yeah?

Prince Arthur Charming:
But we've lost her again.

King Goshposh:
[taking a drink of wine] Oh, how 'bout that?

King Goshposh:
[as monsters gather at the punch bowl] You know, if we do this again next year, remind me to be more specific than "no frogs".

Prince Arthur Charming:
Hey, that's the slipper! Hey, where did you find it?

Kermit the Frog:
Well if that dog wants to stay healthy, he'd better stop burying slippers in Splurge's raddish patch. The big fellow wasn't happy.

Fairy Godmother:
With one wave of my magic wand, I will turn you from a puppet into a real boy!

Cinderella:
Oh, but I don't want to be a real boy.

Fairy Godmother:
Oh, of course you don't! Glad I thought of him though, I think I left him in a whale somewhere.

Cinderella:
Oh Arthur, I still can't believe it!

Prince Arthur Charming:
Now what can't you believe?

Cinderella:
That all our troubles are over and we're going to live happily ever after.

Kermit the Frog:
[to the audience] Ah, I could have solved this whole thing months ago, but who listens to a frog?

Kermit the Frog:
What you want is a girl who doesn't know you. And that's impossible, so why don't you just give up and go back to your gardening?

Prince Arthur Charming:
What's the point? I'm a terrible gardener. The only things that grow in this mud are the gerraniums, and they were planted by the people we rented this castle from.

Kermit the Frog:
Aw, don't sell yourself short. Those tangerines over there don't look so bad. A little small maybe, but...

Prince Arthur Charming:
Those are pumpkins.

Kermit the Frog:
Uh huh. You know something?

Prince Arthur Charming:
What?

Kermit the Frog:
It's lucky you're a prince because you'd never make it as a gardener.

Fairy Godmother:
[performing on stage] And now, for all you horse-drawn coach fans, dispataci!

[the pumpkin she is enchanting turns into a payphone booth with the phone ringing. She enters and answers it]

Fairy Godmother:
Hello? No, I will *not* accept the charges!

Cinderella:
[preparing to go to the Royal Ball] Now Arthur, now you've got to show me what to do when I meet the prince. You pretend to be the prince, and I'll pretend to be me, and I'll come in and I'll bow very, very low like this, and the prince will say...

Prince Arthur Charming:
Hey, Cinderella!

Cinderella:
Oh, he'd never say hey, Cinderella. He'd say something royal!

Prince Arthur Charming:
I bet when he meets you he'd say hey, Cinderella.

Cinderella:
Arthur, it's lucky you're a gardener because you'd never make it as a prince.

Cinderella:
[balancing a large stack of dishes] Will you take these dishes and stack them on the pantry for me, Rufus?

[Rufus takes the dishes]

Cinderella:
There you are. Are you sure you can manage?

[Rufus carries them offscreen]

Cinderella:
Oh, good boy! I never thought he'd make it.

[Sound of dishes crashing offscreen]

Cinderella:
Oh dear...

Wicked Stepmother:
Hey, Cinderella!

Cinderella:
Yes stepmother?

Wicked Stepmother:
Have you finished those dishes yet?

Cinderella:
Rufus just finished them.

Wicked Stepmother:
High time too! There are chores to be done!

Cinderella:
But I thought you wanted me to sit in the cinders...