Holiday Heart

Holiday Heart:
I myself believe that when it comes to matters of the heart, the only sin is turning your back on love because of what other people think.

Niki:
So, are you and me gonna march in the gay parade?

Holiday Heart:
Oh no baby. I'm from the old school. I marched with King - I ain't about to start marching with the queens.

Niki:
We're not going back, are we?

Wanda:
No. No, Niki. I made you a promise. I'm not going to be around drugs anymore. No, ma'am. Unh-Unh. Not in this life. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to start my writing again. That's what I'm going to do. I can get some of my poetry together... You know how in the back of Essence they have the poetry, and sisters sending in their stuff from all over the country? I could get my stuff in the back of Essence. Hey, but I will not stop working on my life story, cause that's the bestseller. Writers, you know, good writers have to go through a whole lot of stuff. I've been through it. I just have to write it down...

Niki:
[notices Holiday's piano] See, Mama. Look, it ain't portable.

Wanda:
Isn't portable. I'm trying to get her to use correct grammar.

Holiday Heart:
Oh, that's very nice. Well, I hope I say this with correct grammar, but Sister Girl, this food sure don't look appetizing.

Wanda:
It's all beige, isn't it?

Holiday Heart:
Well, let's just put it this way. Holiday can burn, so let's say from here on out I do all the cooking, okay? [hands over plate] What is it anyway?

Wanda:
I don't know.

Mrs. Owens:
Not a lot of work history. I told Brother Holiday we were really looking for someone with some experience.

Wanda:
Cool. Thank you very much. [turns to leave]

Mrs. Owens:
Hey, now just hold on a minute.

Wanda:
Lady, I do not have a minute. I just gave you 20. I have a 12-year-old daughter is starting not to believe in me again. And I need a job. But I am not about to beg you or anyone else to work in here!

Wanda:
Why are you being so good to us? And just so you know, I don't do fags.

Holiday Heart:
Good, because just so YOU know, I don't do no-account evil b*tches who sleep all day instead of taking care their damn children, okay?

Wanda:
Excuse me. Are you the principal?

Principal:
Yes.

Wanda:
Okay, I'm Wanda Dean. This is my daughter, Nicki Dean. Remember her name now. She is brilliant. I am delivering her to you as a happy straight-A student with an imagination. And I expect you to return to me the same way. Otherwise I can be a nighmare b*tch. So, if she gets so much as a hangnail, you let me know, okay?

Principal:
I promise you. I understand. We'll take good care of your daughter.

Wanda:
Okay. Have a good day, Nicole!

Holiday Heart:
"A nightmare b*tch?"

Wanda:
What? I'm just keeping it real!

Wanda:
[reading her poetry] They were young and firm, quick to part but slow to learn. But my thighs are mine to keep...

Holiday Heart:
When are you going to write about something that doesn't involve your body parts?

Wanda:
[throws paper] You know what? Remind me to never show you anything again. And you're lucky I don't show you my Sally right now.

Holiday Heart:
Your what?

Wanda:
My Sally.

[grabs crotch]

Wanda:
My SUGAR BOWL! Oh, yes!

Holiday Heart:
[turns up face in digust] Please, darling.

Holiday Heart:
Oh, I thought I heard somebody. I just wanted to know how the talent contest went.

Wanda:
Hi, Holiday.

Holiday Heart:
Hey, Wanda. Oh, Niki, you have a friend.

Niki:
Yeah, this is my new cousin.

Sarah:
I'm Silas's niece. Are you wearing makeup? Are you the fag?

Jambalaya Blue:
Wanda is one of those microwave b*tches. She wants everything quick.

Silas:
Man, I know you think I ain't sh*t.

Holiday Heart:
No. Sh*t stinks for a reason. You? Just plain unnecessary.

Wanda:
Honey, I was up and down Michigan Avenue picking up this and that for you, Niki!

[hands over gift]

Niki:
So this one has money. Yippee. So, when does he move in, or do we go shack up with him? Or does he even have a shack? Maybe he just lives and deals in his limo. So you don't even have to go anywhere to cop. You can just go in his briefcase and grab, what you call, your little glass trick.

Wanda:
[angrily slaps Niki] Oh, NIKI!

[storms away]