Holiday Inn

Ted Hanover:
A gentle smile often breeds a kick in the pants.

Jim Hardy:
What brings you here on this bright and uninviting day?

Jim Hardy:
I don't need a coat, now!

Mamie:
Is your names Mamie?

Mamie:
Get back in the kitchen!

Mamie:
Is your names Miss Linda?

Ted Hanover:
Oh boy, do I go for those! Why they're great on... on...

Ted Hanover:
... or even plain!

Linda Mason:
What would you like?

Danny Reed:
Orchids, the finest you've got.

Linda Mason:
Corsage?

Danny Reed:
No, no. A dozen, loose, looking like they don't care!

Ted Hanover:
It's going to be easy - like peeling a turtle.

Jim Hardy:
For that kinda of money you oughta be able to go by way o' Medicine Hat!

Danny Reed:
If I'm not the best manager in the business, I'll eat a garage mechanic's shirt!

Ted Hanover:
[reading] Come out and relax on a farm, music, dancing, home cooking. Open holidays only. [skeptical] Open holiday's only? Say, how many of them are there?

Jim Hardy:
[excited] About 15. That gives me 350 days to kick around in!

Ted Hanover:
[laughing] You would think of that!

Danny Reed:
How'd he get that far in five minutes?

Ted Hanover:
The lady must have been willing.

Danny Reed:
The world can't do this to us!

Lila Dixon:
[about Jim] He gets a look.

Ted Hanover:
He always has that look! It doesn't mean anything emotionally. It has something to do with his... liver.

Linda Mason:
You better go inside, it's cold and you don't have a coat... [gently pushes him] Go on.

Jim Hardy:
[kisses her, moves back] Well I don't need a coat anymore.

Ted Hanover:
I like it here... with you and Linda.

Jim Hardy:
And we love having you. When are you leaving?

Lila Dixon:
I love you... and Jim.

Ted Hanover:
Well, I love Jim too... but let's not get too chummy.

Jim Hardy:
[trying to describe Linda] She was sort of a medium built, medium height. With a nice evening gown on with a belt in the back. She's sorta built like the girl I knew from the corner drugstore who used to play pinball. Conshwella Schlepkiss. I remember she was high man three weeks in a row.

Jim Hardy:
I'm dreaming of a white Chhristmas, Just like the ones I used to know.

Mamie:
[about winning Linda back] You could melt her heart right down to butter, if you'd only turn on the heat!

Linda Mason:
My father was a lot like you, just a man with a family. Never amounted to much, didn't care. But as long as he was alive, we always had plenty to eat and clothes to keep us warm.

Jim Hardy:
Were you happy?

Linda Mason:
Yes.

Jim Hardy:
Then your father was a very successful man.

Jim Hardy:
Lila's back in New York. I got a letter from her yesterday.

Ted Hanover:
What happened to her millionaire?

Jim Hardy:
Slight mistake there. He didn't own millions, he owed them.

Ted Hanover:
Poor girl. Always straying to greener pastures and finding spinach.