Home Alone 3

Mrs. Hess:
I had the chicken pox when Herbert Hoover was in the White House.

Alex:
Excuse me for being a good citizen.

Stan:
Hey, Alex, could you pass me the false alarms? I mean, the peas.

Peter Beaupre:
We are going to Chicago.

Earl Unger:
In the winter? I packed tropical.

Alice:
I need assistance. I'm... exposed.

Peter Beaupre:
There are 14 houses. The toy car must be in one of them. We're going have to search them all. We'll come back when it's light.

Earl Unger:
We're gonna work houses in broad daylight?

Peter Beaupre:
It's the suberbs, Mr. Unger. Nobody's home during the day.

Earl Unger:
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan.

Earl Unger:
You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.

Karen:
You get in that bed, young man.

Alex:
Excuse me, but I saw a man in Karen Stephan's bedroom, a little older than Dad, and he was wearing butt inspection gloves.

Karen:
I have warned you about that telescope. You look through it long enough, you're gonna start seeing things, whether or not they're there.

Alex:
Well, I guess you have to be 35 before anyone around here listens to you.

Karen:
Don't get smart with me, Alex. Sick or not, I am very angry with you. You caused a lot of trouble today. Dad and I have to replace a door at the Stephans'. Do you think we're happy about that?

Alex:
I saw what I saw!

[Mr. Unger and Mr. Jernigan meet Beaupre, who just found Alex's toy car, at the Alcott's house]

Jernigan:
It's a video camera. Someone's onto us.

Unger:
Do you think this really matters? Chip's in the car. We're at the airport in 45 minutes.

Beaupre:
Where's Alice?

Alice:
[as she pushes a baby stroller to the Alcott's shed] What happened?

Beaupre:
There's a woman in the house. I'll go back in and deal with her. Get the chip.

[Beaupre then hands Alice the car]

Jernigan:
Unger. What's your position?

Unger:
Heading down Washington Street.

Jernigan:
I didn't copy. Where?

Unger:
I said, I'm heading to Wuh-ah-ah-ah...

[Jernigan runs over Unger while driving]

Unger:
Stop, you nitwit!

[the car stops and Unger collapses into the snow]

Unger:
I can't tell you how much I appreciate you hitting me with a minivan.

Jernigan:
Never let your motions get the best of you. You weren't paying attention. You should have been more vigilant.

Unger:
You should've taken driver's ed. I'm gonna have bad knees when I'm old and I'll have Burton Jernigan to thank.

[Alice has just split her pants open at the rear while on a secret spy mission]

Alice:
I need assistance. I'm exposed.

[as Alice locks them in Mrs. Hess' garage, intending to keep her from interfering]

Mrs. Hess:
What are you doing?

Alice:
I left my heart in San Francisco.

Alex:
Heads up!

[unleashes booby trap that releases dumbbells on Beaupre and Unger]

Alex:
[donging is heard] Ouch.

[Alice finds Beaupre and Unger lying on the doorstep]

Alice:
You got hit with a book?

Unger:
Books. Plural. A trunk full of books. And then a set of weights. We got hit twice, ya dumb broad.

Alice:
Excuse me, Mr. Unger. I didn't get taken down by an infant.

Beaupre:
We didn't anticipate the defense the boy would mount.

Beaupre:
[as he peeks into the mailslot of Alex's house] You can run, but you can't hide, Junior!

Alex:
Surprise!

[he sprays black paint to Beaupre's eyes]

Alex:
What a loser.

[Alex hides in the closet as Unger tries to unlock the door]

Unger:
I'm coming for you, shorty, to pay you back for all the misery you caused me.

Alice:
Mr. Unger, what are you doing?

Unger:
Kid's in the closet. Scaring him a little, just before I grab him. And behind door number one...!

[he opens the closet door to see Alex isn't there; just shelves stacked with towels]

Unger:
[disapponted] ...towels.

Jernigan:
Hmph.

Unger:
I saw this door close.

Alice:
Idiot.

[Alex is hiding in a bag hanging from the door]

Unger:
Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?

Jernigan:
[hit in the groin by Alice's crowbar] You smacked my winkie!

Alice:
Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while, maybe you wouldn't have rats in your pants!

Police Officer #1:
Freeze!

Unger:
[in the pool frozen with Jernigan] You gotta be kidding me.

Alex:
There's a senior citizen across the street who's gonna need some soup and a doctor to look at her feet. There's two guys in our pool and a woman in our basement. The other one's gone.

Agent Stuckey:
[shows Alex a photo of Beaupre] Is this him?

Alex:
Yep.

Agent Stuckey:
For seven years, I've been after this guy. He always manages to slip away. Thanks.

Very nice great movie all time best forever film

Alex Pruitt:
[calls out to the crooks] You're not gonna find me up there, you big, dumb, law-breaking knuckleheads!

Molly:
Alex slammed the seat down on his thing again!

Jernigan:
You be careful. When kids get scared, they wet their pants!

Unger:
Don't touch the yarn. It's wired. Kid's got the place booby-trapped.

Stan:
I had nothing to do with it. I'm innocent!

Stan:
With all due respect...this is to get out of his science project because his bug died.

Unger:
Jernigan, I think I'm going to enjoy this. It's been a long time since I was a kid. You forget how incredibly stupid they are.

Unger:
Books. Plural. A trunk full of books... ...then a set of weights. I got hit twice, you dumb broad.

Unger:
I'm coming for you, shorty, to pay you back... ...for all the misery you caused me.

Molly:
The "it" you're referring to is my little brother.

Agent Stuckey:
He intercepted a top-secret electronic device... ...stolen from a Defense Dept. Contractor... ...by criminals working for a North Korean terrorist organization.

Unger:
Towels. I saw this door close! Idiot! Would I make it up? Why? What's the point? We working on commission here?

Unger:
When I was in the john, I didn't see anything in there.