Horrible Bosses 2

[from trailer]

Dave Harken:
[Nick, Dale and Kurt are visiting Dave in prison] Hello Nick, guy who saved my life, guy who f***ed my wife.

[from trailer]

Julia Harris:
Have you ever done it in a dentist's chair?

Nick Hendricks:
Well, you go there and I'll just go to the men's room for a minute.

Julia Harris:
You're quite welcome to do that on me.

Nick Hendricks:
Actually, it's... uh... [hold up two fingers]

Julia Harris:
And?

Dave Harken:
You options are.

Dale Arbus:
Legal options.

Dave Harken:
JACK SH*T.

Dale Arbus:
I heard Jack Lebowitz is that an attorney I'm going to write that down Jack Lebowitz.

Kurt Buckman:
Got to be can we get his contact info please.

Bert Hanson:
I hate to break it to you, but the American dream is in China.

Nick Hendricks:
We're not going to see Mother-F***er Jones because we're not going to kidnap anyone.

Dale Arbus:
Just because your dad called the cops doesn't mean that he doesn't love you.

Kurt Buckman:
Holy sh*t, he fight clubbed himself! We have a fight clubber!

Dave Harken:
BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO BALLS! And your fathers had no balls. You were all a product of generations of ball-less men who were either too weak or too frightened to stand up and take what's theirs. And one day you will pass on your empty shriveled sacks to your own pitiful offspring!

Dean "MF" Jones:
Can I pose a question to you colonizers?

Julia Harris:
Enjoy; it's good stuff. Learn something.

Julia Harris:
You got a lot of stuff sticking out; I got a lot of holes going in.

Nick Hendricks:
Well, we were all working at pretty terrible JOBS for some awful bosses and we just thought, if we ever got a chance to be our own bosses, that we'd do things differently

Kurt Buckman:
Yeah, we came up with the Shower Buddy

Dale Arbus:
I'm sorry, that name's not official yet. I wanted the Shower Daddy

Kurt Buckman:
Shower Daddy is worse on pretty much every level so, yeah

Dale Arbus:
Why would your buddy be in the shower with you?

Kurt Buckman:
Why would your DAD?

Nick Hendricks:
Don't scream on television.