Hot Chick

April:
So... do you really have a penis?

Jessica (Clive):
I don't think you get the gravity of the situation here.

April:
Can I see it?

Jessica (Clive):
April!

April:
Sorry... can I see it?

April:
Come on, it's not every day that your best friend grows a penis.

Clive (Jessica):
I gotta do WHAT?

Clive (Jessica):
Oooh. Nice one!

Jessica (Clive):
But I didn't...

Jessica (Clive):
What was that all about?

Clive (Jessica):
Do you believe I get to share a locker with that!

Jessica Spencer:
Look at these earrings. I'll be the envy of every girl at prom. Not that that was ever in jeopardy.

Clive (Jessica):
I'll make you a deal. You just let me make another 500 bucks tonight, OK. Then, I'll give you your body back because it soooo important to you.

Clive (Jessica):
Waa waa I'm crying about my body... And then, you can just loan it to me every other weekend so I can pay off some gambling debts.

Korean Mother:
Ling Ling, you forgot your bling bling.

Jessica (Clive):
Too late dude, she's with me right now. She says that my peepee's way bigger than yours. And that's if I fold it in half.

Bongo Player:
You can put your weed in there.

Venetia:
I wish my momma bought me some bling-bling.

Ling Ling:
Out of all the Korean liquor stores, why did my dad have to walk into that one?

Bianca:
Hi Jessica, you look great. Are you doing anything different or just hanging out with skankier friends?

Jessica Spencer:
You look good, too, Bianca. Are you eating less or just barfing more?

Monique:
Barfing more.

Sissy:

Venetia:
Can somebody answer the phone?

Sissy:
Oh dang, that's messed up.

Jessica (Clive):
Well, THAT was an ordeal... Is there any ice in here?

April:
No

Jessica (Clive):
Thank God.

Bathroom Attendant:
Just remember, you shake it more than twice you're playing with it.

Jessica (Clive):
April, do you remember in second grade when you moved here from Arkansas? And everyone made fun of you and threw rocks at you, 'cuz you talked funny and your front two teeth were brown. I was your only friend. I gave you that locket, round your neck, when your grandmother was sick. You said, you said...

April:
We'd be bestest friends forever.

April:
Ok, let's make a list of all the people that hate Jessica.

Lulu:
You know what would be a shorter list? All the people that don't hate Jessica.

Jessica:
You b*tch!

Madam Mambuza:
Stop banging on the drums!

Bongo Player:
I'm sorry, I didn't know you could hear that.

Jessica Spencer:
You're the only boy who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time.

Jessica (Clive):
How come you didn't snitch on me?

Booger Spencer:
Cuz you're my sister and I accept you for who you are.

Jessica (Clive):
Come here;

Jessica (Clive):
You're such a little weirdo.

Stan Thomas:
If you ruin April's night, I will have you put away.

April:
Uh, Jessica has a... problem.

Ling Ling:
She's only going to make us wait an hour this time.

Lulu:
What about the class trip to Six Flags. She took so long in the bathroom we missed the bus.

Ling Ling:
Our parents had to drive three hours to pick us up.

Jessica (Clive):
I had my period, OK!

Clive (Jessica):
I hear it's... uh... good for the skin if you take your towel off.

Clive (Jessica):
Hey! Where ya goin'? I'll see you in the shower.

Clive (Jessica):
Hey there.

Eden:
It's a latin based form of witchcraft. It originated in Africa and eventually made it's way to Cuba and Brazil.

Lulu:
Bianca!

Jessica (Clive):
I knew it.

Eden:
Most of its rituals involve a chicken.

Hildenburg:
That sounds delicious.

Hildenburg:
Uh, I mean interesting.

Korean Mother:
Ling-Ling, You walk right by Crazy Nail. No say hi me.

Ling Ling:
Hi mom.

Bongo player:

You can stick your weed in here too!

Bongo player:
I am going to go and take a nap in the back.....oh wait this is the back!