Hotel Hell

Gordon Ramsay:
What is thee, ah, post up there? Wha-what is that? [talking about a long white poll hung above the bed that looks like it would normally have curtains hung from it]

Herself - General Manager:
Just there.

Gordon Ramsay:
So, there's no handcuffs? No? No, okay. So, it's not a sex thing?

Herself - General Manager:
It is not a sex thing. [laughing]

Gordon Ramsay:
Look at that thing. So, it's pretty big, right? So, how are you supposed to get it into your mouth?

Herself - Server & Assistant Manager:
I've never eaten it before.

Gordon Ramsay:
Let's try. Come on.

Herself - Server & Assistant Manager:
Me?

Gordon Ramsay:
We're in this together.

Herself - Server & Assistant Manager:
Oh, no, you ordered this one all on your own.

Gordon Ramsay:
That's yours. That's yours there, right? Open wide, please.

Herself - Server & Assistant Manager:
Wait - there is no way this is going to fit into my mouth.

Gordon Ramsay:
Ready? One... two... three.

Herself - Server & Assistant Manager:
Um-ummm - I can't do it.

Himself - Owner:
Hotel Chester: That was pretty damn awesome, no question about it.

Gordon Ramsay:
It's like a cat sh*t all over my plate.

Gordon Ramsay:
Damn, I never did get to see KEvin lap dance.

Gordon Ramsay:
Ken's the chef and the chef that's cooking is not allowed to cook his own dishes?

Herself - Bar Manager:
Yeah.

Gordon Ramsay:
It's almost like he's sort of cut his dick off.

Herself - Bar Manager:
Well, that's kind of what he does with all of us.

Gordon Ramsay:
You are not helping yourself. And it's not as if you are the captain of the Titanic, you're the f***ing iceberg! Yet you haven't stared at yourself long enough in the mirror and actually understood where the issues are. You're looking at them. [to Ken]

Gordon Ramsay:
Look at this thing! Agh, f*** me! It's like being in Danny Devito's house! [in the shower, trying to use it but the shower head barely reaches his chin]

Gordon Ramsay:
With Ken trusting his staff and not micro-managing, he's able to spend more time on the floor, leaving time to charm the MILF's of Milford. [in a voiceover, refering to the women Ken met in a bar who have attended the relaunch and brought a friend]

Gordon Ramsay:
He can't even boil a f***ing egg!