Husbands and Wives

Sally:
What can I say? She's me, but she's younger.

Gabe:
Change equals death!

Judy:
What kind of bullshit? That's just a bullshit line! Maybe you fool your twenty-year-old students into thinking that's some kind of a, an insight or something, but it means nothing! Change is what life is made of! Change - if you don't change, you don't grow, you just shrivel up!

Sam:
I used to eat red meat every day and then I gave it up and then I had some again recently and I was totally bloated! I mean, like, really bad!

Sally:
F***ing men! Woman gets to be over a certain age, it becomes a different ballgame.

Paul:
Oh, no, no - ...

Sally:
Don't defend your sex! It's true! You're great 'til you start to show your age - then they want a newer model.

Sally:
It's the Second Law of Thermodynamics: sooner or later everything turns to sh*t. That's my phrasing, not the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Judy:
You use sex to express every emotion except love.

Sam:
It is true! It is totally, totally, totally provable, you know?

Sam:
Well, it's totally logical, right? You know, why wouldn't the position of the planets have an influence on our personalities?

Gabe Roth:
See, I will always have this penchant for what I call kamikaze women. I call them kamikazes because they, you know they crash their plane, they're self-destructive. But they crash into you, and you die along with them.

Gabe Roth:
I do not flirt!

Judy Roth:
Don't tell me you don't flirt because I've seen you do it, at parties, you put on a whole other personality.

Gabe Roth:
Oh you're crazy.

Judy Roth:
Of course you do. You get all soulful and pretend to want things that you really can't stand.

Gabe Roth:
Like what? What are you talking about?

Judy Roth:
Like moving to Europe. That's just a flirting technique, you couldn't survive off the island of Manhattan for more than 48 hours.

Sally:
I thought that I liked what Michael was doing to me, and that it felt different to Jack- more gentle. And more exciting. And I thought how different Michael was from Jack how much deeper his vision of life was. And, I thought Michael was a hedgehog and Jack was a fox. And then I thought Judy was a fox and Gabe was a hedgehog. And I thought about all the people I knew, and which were hedgehogs and which were foxes. Al Simon, our friend, was a hedgehog, and his wife Jenny was a hedgehog. And Cindy Salchime was a fox, and Luke Trinow was a hedgehog.

Rain:
I spent five days searching for the perfect word to describe the husband and that's when I came up with "apucious".

Gabe:
Apucious. I looked it up in the dictionary but I couldn't find it.

Rain:
Yeah, I know. I made it up.

Gabe:
Oh, really.

Rain:
Yeah. I thought it described him perfectly.