I Love New York

Casting Director:
What happened to your foot?

Guy:
I got shot.

[pause]

Other Guy:
Like, like, this...

Casting Director:
What is that?

Other Guy:
A vest.

Casting Director:
A bullet proof vest?

Other Guy:
Yeeeah.

Casting Director:
For what?

Other Guy:
[looks around] Not ta get shot.

Tiffany Pollard:
I thought I was gonna have a dead midget on my hands!

Michele Rothschild-Patterson:
[after seeing the men] These are a pack of sorry losers!

Tiffany Pollard:
I'm torn between what my heart wants and what my heart needs.

Tiffany Pollard:
Don't play with me! I ain't *nothing* to be played with!

Tiffany Pollard:
You good?

Pootie:
I'm poppadoppalockin like a Burger King Whopper, baby! And I can have it my way, and you can have it your way!

Tiffany Pollard:
Without cheese, b*tch!

Pootie:
Exactly! I like bacon on my sh*t!

Tiffany Pollard:
I do too! Extra mayo! And onions up out this B*TCH!

Tiffany Pollard:
[after paranormal activity occurs in the house] That psychic woman done started some EVIL in this house! I ain't staying in there!

Tiffany Pollard:
[after eliminating Onix] Onix? Just... just simply know that you were definitely not good enough for me. You can keep it moving.

Onix:
No, I think I'm better.

Tiffany Pollard:
See, your thoughts are coming from your ass right about now. 'Cause you DAMN sure ain't better than New York! Raise up!

HEAT:
My Yaya? NOBODY messes with my Yaya.

Tiffany Pollard:
[while eliminating Heat] Right now, I think it's time for you to go home to Yaya. And you can tell her that New York said "What's up?"

Bones:
[Pootie has collapsed on the stairs] And Tango and I are looking at each other and we're just thinking "What in the world?" It's like he's skydiving down the steps.

Whiteboy:
[fighting with Tango, and then Chance holds back Tango] I mean, Tango can't even get outside the van, and he has this skinny ass hand holding you back and you're like 250 somethin' pounds.

Tiffany Patterson:
I've never been to Latin

Chance:
I ain't checkin I'm just checkin y'all man.

Chance:
[about Mr. Boston] The the next thing we know, this nerdy ass motherf***er lookin' like Al Gore's little nephew come hollerin' at me, gettin' all in my business, boy that was the first sign of death.

Tiffany Pollard:
[referring to "Tango's ex Sunny] She better watch her step, I'll cut that b*tch in half!

Tiffany Pollard:
When I saw 'Tailor Made's wife, Nancy, walk through the door, I was so shocked! I was expecting Beyonc? or something to walk through the door. But what did I get? 'Aunt Esther'! Or better yet, Wesley Snipes when he did "To Wong Foo!"

Mr. Boston:
[fighting Chance in a boxing match and Chance hits him in the face] I've never been hit in the face before and it felt like an asteroid came crashing down on Earth. I mean it was the worst experience of my life. Just horrible.

Chance:
[Chance has knocked Mr. Boston over the ropes in a boxing match] You shouldn't of never stepped in the ring with your boy Chance. That was his last chance.

Tiffany Pollard:
[talking to Tango] When you left me in Palm Springs, I could not get you off my mind. I don't know what you did to me.

Chance:
Don't disrespect Mother Horse!

Wolf:
I couldn't help myself but fart! It wuz that raw tuna! it looked and tasted more like a cow's tongue!

Tiffany Pollard:
[addressing the 3 who got eliminated] If you don't have love for New York, get the f*** out of my house! Bye!