I Think I Love My Wife

[from trailer]

Richard Cooper:
[from trailer] Chicken again? I'm losin' my finger-lickin' mind over here! [moves to leave]

Brenda Cooper:
Where you goin'?

Richard Cooper:
To get some duck!

Mr. Landis:
You can lose lots of money chasing women, but you will NEVER lose women chasing money.

Richard Cooper:
You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

Nikki Tru:
Hi it's Nikki. Sorry I missed your call but remember, "Love is God. God is Love." Peace.

Richard Cooper:
Before you get married you get calls like...

Brenda Cooper:
I can't wait to suck your dick.

Richard Cooper:
After you get married you get calls like...

Brenda Cooper:
I can't wait for you come home to see these drapes.

[Brenda sees Richard's erection as he's on the phone]

Brenda Cooper:
Are you talking to some little b*tch? Are you talking to some whore? In my house?

Richard Cooper:
No no no, it's George, it's George.

Brenda Cooper:
George? What kind of down low sh*t is that?

Richard Cooper:
When two people admit that they are attracted to each other, they are no longer in control. Their relationship has to play itself out. For better or for worse.

Richard Cooper:
Life is about choice. We are the sum of our choices. And most of them are made for us. You can't choose when you're born. You can't choose where you are born. You can't choose your family. You can't even choose who you love. But you can choose how you love.