In Harm's Way

Commander Paul Eddington:
Old Rock of Ages, we've got ourselves another war. A gut bustin', mother-lovin' Navy war.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
In case it slipped your mind, it's gunnery stations at 0830.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
We both know what's eating you, Paul. You can't wash it out with booze.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Paul, you're forcing me to throw my weight at you. Fish, or cut bait. Get on your feet or take your troubles elsewhere. I've got a ship to run.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
If you can hold a razor in that hand, you might shave before you come topside.

Commander Paul Eddington:
Aye, aye, Father Torrey.

LTJG 'Mac' McConnel:
Let's crawl back into a uniform. You make us look like a bunch of pirates.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
What is Vickie Marlowe's secret?

Commander Egan Powell:
...she's making a half a million bucks per year and still collecting alimony from me! In my present reduced circumstances.

Commander Egan Powell:
Well, us civilians need more rest and recreation than you Old Salts.

Commander Egan Powell:
It's about time you crawled down from Mount Rushmore and took a look around for yourself. You'd be surprised at the changes we've made in the last 100 years.

Commander Egan Powell:
Man, I tell you, the women - they're smokin' cigarettes, drinkin' whiskey, doin' the shimmy-sham-shimmy, hot damn!

Nurse Lieutenant Maggie Haynes:
I made a special effort to not look like a nurse.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Well, I'm flying under... false colors, Miss Haynes. I don't know my son. I didn't even know he was in the Navy.

Ensign Jere Torrey:
Leaving, sir?

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Yes. Before I pick you up and throw you to the fish.

Commander Egan Powell:
He needs a zipper in his face.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
He's my son.

Commander Egan Powell:
Well! I'd like to meet him, Rock.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
No you wouldn't.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Well, I'm here to see a nurse. What are you here for?

Ensign Jere Torrey:
To see a nurse.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
It looks like we have something in common after all.

Ensign Jere Torrey:
I'm just a chip off the old block, sir!

Nurse Lieutenant Maggie Haynes:
You run a taut ship.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
He's not a bad looking kid, is he?

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Ever hear the name 'Cunliffe'?

Nurse Lieutenant Maggie Haynes:
It's one of those expensive New England names, isn't it?

Admiral Nimitz:
Well, we all know the Navy's never wrong. But in this case, it was a little weak on bein' right.

Admiral Nimitz:
Well, we gave him the molasses. Now let's feed him the sulfur.

Admiral Nimitz:
Torrey, you just named your own poison.

Admiral Nimitz:
On the most exalted throne in the world, we are seated on nothing but our own arse.

Admiral Nimitz:
I can't fire him. I can't scramble his whole command over night. It leaves a bad effect on our allies and gives aid and comfort to the enemy.

Admiral Nimitz:
Indecision is a virus that can run through an army and destroy it's will to win. Or even to survive.

Rear Admiral Rock Torrey:
Just how far can I go in dealing with Admiral Broderick, sir?

Admiral Nimitz:
Well. Ya can't kill 'im.

Nurse Lieutenant Maggie Haynes:
How do admirals feel about nurses?

Rear Admiral Rock Torrey:
The same way captains did.

Captain Paul Eddington:
Egan, you just don't understand the love affairs between ships and sailors.

Commander Egan Powell:
Captain Burke, you have just anchored on poverty row!

Commander Egan Powell:
I'm so scared, my bones are clicking. Like dice, on a Reno craps table.

Rear Admiral Rock Torrey:
All battles are fought by scared men who'd rather be someplace else.

Commander Burke:
And break radio silence?

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Burke - don't you think the Japanese know by now where we are?

Admiral Kimmel:
It is my duty to inform you that you have been relieved of your command, pending the findings of a court of inquiry.

Captain Torrey:
I don't understand, sir.

Admiral Kimmel:
You weren't zig-zagging when you took the two torpedoes.

Captain Torrey:
I was stretching my fuel, sir.

Admiral Kimmel:
If you didn't have fuel to complete your mission, why didn't you turn back for Pearl

Admiral Kimmel:
?

Captain Torrey:
My mission was to seek out and engage an enemy of vastly superior strength. I could only take that one way: my group was expendable.

Admiral Kimmel:
I doubt if a court of inquiry will accept that. Captain, you're about to be caught in a vacuum between a peacetime Navy and a wartime Navy. Six months from now, they'll be making admirals out of captains who exhibit some guts. But right now, they're only reacting to the Pearl Harbor disaster, and punishment is order-of-the-day. Of course, you don't have to accept the findings of a court of inquiry. You could ask for general court-martial, get yourself a couple of crack sea lawyers, and make a fight of it.

Captain Torrey:
I wouldn't care to do that, sir.

Admiral Kimmel:
Why not?

Captain Torrey:
Second-generation Navy, Admiral.

Admiral Kimmel:
I see. Well, I don't plan to ask for court-martial either - and I've lost a fleet. So I suppose we'll both take what they give us, and hope it will be a useful job. Good luck, Captain.

Captain Rock Torrey:
Full report.

Ensign Griggs:
Sir, we've stopped the fires forward and stopped the flow of water at Hatch Twenty-six. Commander Eddington says to tell the Old Man that - I'm sorry, sir, the Captain, sir - that he'd better start thinking about a tow. May I also say, sir, that Commander Eddington is hell on wheels.

Col. Gregory:
Sir, I can't put up all of my men unless we get at least five more transports.

Rear Admiral Rock Torrey:
Well, aren't there any more R4D's on Tulabonne?

Col. Gregory:
Yes, but they're held in reserve.

Captain Paul Eddington:
Reserve! What... for?

Col. Gregory:
That's the way Admiral Broderick has things organized.

Captain Paul Eddington:
What happens if an R4D conks out?

Col. Gregory:
Tulabonne sends us a spare until we get it fixed.

Captain Paul Eddington:
Five of 'em just conked out, Gregg.

Commander Egan Powell:
Let's relay the sad news to Broderick!

Rear Admiral Rock Torrey:
Mr. Canfil, you seem to have fallen in among thieves!

Clayton Canfil, Australian Coastwatcher:
It does seem so, Admiral, I'm very happy to say!

Commander Egan Powell:
You mean you just gave him a plane without checking with Operations?

Sailor:
Sir, Captain Eddington is Chief of Staff; sir, he *is* Operations.

Commander Paul Eddington:
Lieutenant, I don't know the situation between you and your father, but let me tell you this: Bums like your friend Owynne are with us always, like bad weather. But sailors like your old man only happen once in awhile

Ensign Jere Torrey:
I'm afraid I can't accept your evaluation of Commander Owynne, sir.

Commander Paul Eddington:
Well then, I can't accept you as Rock Torrey's son. I think somebody got in ahead of him.

Ensign Jere Torrey:
Now wait a minute, Eddington!

Commander Paul Eddington:
*Captain* Eddington. Yes?

Bosun's Mate Chief Culpepper, USS Cassiday:
Mister McConnell, no tellin' when we might ship together again, and, well, me and the boys all took a vote, and we voted you the best officer to be marooned on a desert island with!

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Good work, Harding!

LTJG 'Mac' McConnel:
Sir, Commander Harding's not on board.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Who is in command then?

LTJG 'Mac' McConnel:
I guess I am, sir! Lt. j.g. McConnell.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Did I hear, Lieutenant junior grade, mister?

LTJG 'Mac' McConnel:
Yes, sir! Lieutenant j.g. McConnell; Class of '37.

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Well, Mr. McConnell; can you send us over some pumps?

LTJG 'Mac' McConnel:
Can do, sir!

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Can you remain with us in case we need a tow back to Pearl?

LTJG 'Mac' McConnel:
Can do, sir!

Captain Rockwell Torrey:
Very well, carry on, Mister.

Patricia Neal recited:

Limerick:
There was a Young Lady of Niger

There was a young lady of Niger

Who smiled as she rode on a tiger;

They returned from the ride

With the lady inside,

And the smile on the face of the tiger.