InSecurity

[first lines]

Benjamin N'udu:
Can we take you to lunch?

Alex Cranston:
No.

JoJo Kwan:
Buy you a drink after work?

Alex Cranston:
No.

Claude Lesage:
Buy you a drink during work?

Alex Cranston:
No.

Burt Wilson:
Can we at least sing you 'Happy Birthday' or some non-copywrited version of a birthday song?

Alex Cranston:
Look, I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not big on birthdays, and we have a lot of work to do today.

JoJo Kwan:
Good news. I think I have enough compounds here to make something that could get us out of here.

Alex Cranston:
Oh, thanks, Jojo, you really came through in the clutch. Big time. Keep giving one hundred and ten percent. God, I have to stop falling asleep to SportsCentre.

[last lines]

JoJo Kwan:
Alex, your sister's on the phone. She wants to know if you're coming to dinner.

Alex Cranston:
Ough! Tell her I'm dead.

[first lines]

Victor:
[on phone] Da, I have the plans.

Victor:
Twenty million! I don't think so. This is state of the art submarine technology.

Alex Cranston:
[NISA is watching via a spy camera] Is he talking about our sub?

Burt Wilson:
I can't see the screen; he moved the lamp.

Alex Cranston:
If they're the plans for the Canadian super-sub, we need to stop him.

Peter McNeil:
Exactly. If the rest of the world finds out that Canada has amassed the most powerful military on earth, it will destroy years of quiet low-key planning.

[last lines]

Benjamin N'udu:
Claude, may I please have some more of this delicious salad?

Claude Lesage:
It's delicious because the arugula is so fresh, you know.

JoJo Kwan:
I picked it out.

Claude Lesage:
Jojo, eat your mushroom!

JoJo Kwan:
I don't like mushrooms.

Peter McNeil:
[takes some from her plate] I'll eat 'em.

[first lines]

Dr. Ho Lung:
And if you keep applying the cream, you should be able to sit down comfortably in about three days. [cell phone rings] Excuse me. [answering phone] I told you not to call me here.

Dr. Ho Lung:
Yes, I have them. Centrifuge plans, nuclear schematics, everything, but you'll get them on my timetable; do you hear me?

[Patient starts to sit down, and screams in pain]

Dr. Ho Lung:
I said *wait* three days, or you'll never go to the bathroom again.

Burt Wilson:
[starting to unlock a briefcase] OK. Cracking the combination. [after a short try] OK, so it's not 1-2-3-4 and it's not 4-3-2-1; I'm stumped.

[last lines]

Alex Cranston:
Now for the weapons system that North Korea is currently testing, let's look at item twenty-two. It should be one of the mugs. Ah.

Sherry:
[checking mug she is using] Oh. My bad.

Alex Cranston:
Yup, that's the one.

[first lines]

Burt Wilson:
[flips his pen up and catches it] Nailed it! Did you see that? Jojo? Watch. I'll show you again. [flips the pen but it lands near Jojo]

JoJo Kwan:
I have to go.

Burt Wilson:
Where're you going?

JoJo Kwan:
I have a mission.

Burt Wilson:
Need a ride?

JoJo Kwan:
I'm fine.

Burt Wilson:
I could pick you up after.

JoJo Kwan:
Burt, just because you have nothing to do doesn't mean the rest of us aren't busy.

Burt Wilson:
I got stuff to do. I got *lots* to do. [moves over to another desk] Hey, Guy, you seen my pen trick?

[last lines]

Burt Wilson:
C'mon, just a little concussion, a friendly love tap. See where it goes.

JoJo Kwan:
Stop following me.

[first lines]

Benjamin N'udu:
Ah, my old friend. I still can't believe my eyes. I thought you were dead, Masud.

Masud:
I would be, if it weren't for NISA. And my insulin pump.

Alex Cranston:
Well, it was mostly your old partner here who managed to track you down.

[last lines]

Burt Wilson:
[answering phone] Hello. Burt Wilson.

Benjamin N'udu:
[after a short piece of music] Burt Wilson, can anyone stop you now?

Burt Wilson:
No, tonight I am on the loose.

Benjamin N'udu:
Then you will pick up my dry cleaning.

Burt Wilson:
Pick up dry cleaning.

JoJo Kwan:
Don't forget my latte.

Benjamin N'udu:
And a latte for Jojo.

Burt Wilson:
No foam, extra sprinkles.

Alex Cranston:
Guys!

JoJo Kwan:
Sorry. We'll stop.

Alex Cranston:
No, I want a muffin; fruit explosion, heated, butter.

Benjamin N'udu:
And a muffin for Alex.

Burt Wilson:
Alex. Muffin.

JoJo Kwan:
Nice wallet.

Alex Cranston:
Thanks. I made it at camp with my best friend, Jane. I should call her.

Burt Wilson:
Call Jane.