Inspector Gadget 2

Inspector Gadget:
We're on a stakeout, Gadgetmobile.

Gadgetmobile:
No, you on a stakeout. I'm on a sleep-in. So keep it down, a'ight?

Inspector Gadget:
The least you could do is stay alert.

Gadgetmobile:
Alert for what? Face it, Inspector G, since we got Claw locked up, all the bad guys are too afraid to show their faces in Riverton.

Penny:
Hey, Uncle Gadget! Hi, Brain!

Inspector Gadget:
Penny, I thought we agree to call me "Inspector" in front of the harden criminal.

Penny:
She's a harden criminal?

Inspector Gadget:
Don't be fooled by appearances, Penny. Look what I found under her purse. (shows false teeth) Probably from one of her victims. And look at this. (shows prune juice) Liquid evil.

Mrs. Quimby:
But, Inspector...

Inspector Gadget:
Save it for the judge, perp. Yeah, "but, but, but". Everybody's got a big "but".

Inspector Gadget:
I'm all messed up!

Baxter:
I'm sorry, Gadget, but I don't see what the problem is.

Inspector Gadget:
Watch. Go Go Gadget Toothbrush. (Gadget Bubble gum shoots Baxter) See? Bubble gum.

Baxter:
I see what the problem is.

Inspector Gadget:
Isn't there something you can do for me, Baxter?

Baxter:
You're the prototype Gadget, Gadget, misbound to have a few glitches but I'm happy to know we've been working. I'll let in a little secret. Soon, we'll be unveiling something... (top secret door closes) Soon, that'll solve all this glitches for good. Soon.

Chief Quimby:
Mom's tough love. (sternly) This your last warning, Gadget: Stick to solving real crimes!

Inspector Gadget:
Chief, there are no criminals left. They're all in Riverton prison.

Dr. Claw:
Brick, retrieve my darts! McKibble, serve my tea!

McKibble:
I don't see why we gotta retrieve your darts and serve your tea.

Brick:
Yeah!

McKibble:
We're vicious minions, not valets.

(Dr. Claw pinches McKibble's nose. McKibble groans in pain, and chuckles)

McKibble:
One sugar, or two?

Dr. Claw:
Two.

(Dr. Claw lets go)

Brick:
Here, boss. Dr. Claw, the place is a dump. What happened to your multi-million dollar high-rise evil headquarters?

Dr. Claw:
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED TO IT?!

(Brick and McKibble duck, as Claw tosses a fistful of darts at the picture of Inspector Gadget)

Dr. Claw:
When Gadget arrested me, the police confiscated all my assets. But after we've pulled out the crime of the century, I'll be back on top again.

McKibble:
Great. Another crime of the century. I'm still on parole for the last one.

Brick:
What's the plan this time?

Dr. Claw:
Watch and see. (turns on the TV)

TV Anchor:
The Federal Reserve Bank with a deposit of over five trillion dollars in pure gold was build two years ago after Riverton declared statistically the safest City in America. Utilizing the latest in security technology and a squadron of armed guards, the bank is considered impregnable.

Dr. Claw:
(turns off the TV and crushes the remote) Not for long.

Brick:
We're gonna rob the Federal Reserve!

Dr. Claw:
Right before Riverton's eyes, and there won't be a thing Inspector Gadget can do about it.

Brick:
How we gonna do that? They said the bank was impen-- impreg-- Really hard to get into.

McKibble:
Yeah. I don't see how.

Dr. Claw:
That's why you're just minions, and I'm an evil genius.

Brick:
He's got a point.

McKibble:
Yeah.

Dr. Claw:
We are going to build the ultimate super weapon! But we haven't much time. We need to be ready in ten days, because next Thursday at exactly 9:23 AM, the X-Force One Satellite will be directly over Riverton. And by then, we need to steal ion fuel cells, a protoid laser, and a ruby. Plus, a few miscellaneous knick knacks.

Brick:
Yum. (smacks lips) I love knick knacks. (McKibble groans)

Gadget Mobile:
Okay, Here we are.

Inspector Gadget:
Wish me luck. I'm going undercover. (Enters the bar)

Tough Guys:
(Stares at Inspector Gadget)

Inspector Gadget:
Hi there, Fellas.

Penny:
Okay, Brain. The coast is clear. Come on, Let's run the out back.

Monkey:
(Chattering)

Bartender:
(Spits out a germ and clean a cup then sees Inspector Gadget) What do you want?

Inspector Gadget:
Well, I just got out of slammer. And I look for my whistle.

Bartender:
What do you have?

Inspector Gadget:
A glass tall of milk.

Bartender:
Milk?

Inspector Gadget:
I mean, Chocolate milk. Make it a double.

Penny:
Hey, brain. This way.

McKibble:
Okay, then. Let's see what applicans we have here. Squint. Jungle Bob. And you must be the one they call "The Ninja".

Brick:
Ninja? Why did they call you that?

Ninja:
Hi-ya.

Brick:
I think I see why now.

McKibble:
Okay, then. Judging by this. You guys are prime minion material.

Bartender:
(Gives Inspector Gadget a chocolate milk)

Inspector Gadget drinks chocolate milk

Monkey:
[chattering]

Inspector Gadget:
(After drinking a chocolate milk) Ho. (The bartender looks at the disguise moustache) I Have History of Hair loss in my family.

Bartender:
Anything Else I Can Get You.

Inspector Gadget:
Yes. I'm Looking for...(making a claw with his hands)

Bartender:
Sorry, We don't serve lobster here.

Inspector Gadget:
What? No. (whispers) Dr. Claw.

Bartender:
Claw? Well, if you want to find him, you're gonna have to grease a few palms, if you get my drift.

Inspector Gadget:
Well, whatever you say. Here you go. (squirts axle grease into the bartender's hand) Top-grade axle grease.

Bartender:
(Grabs the grease in his fist and gets angry) WHY YOU?!?

Inspector Gadget:
Go Go Gadget, duck! (retracts his head into his collar like a turtle and the bartender punches the man behind him; that man falls against an arm wrestler, who bumps into pool player, causing the cue ball go ricochetting across the room. The cue ball hits a bald dart player's head, and the man falls, destroying a card game table and thuds to the floor, unconscious. Gadget sees the angry patrons advancing on him) Check, please. Just a check.

(A furious tough guy roars as they got into a bar brawl)

Squint:
So, Where do we Start Working for Dr. Claw.

McKibble:
Immediately.

Penny:
Did You Hear That, Brain.

Inspector Gadget:
(Screaming) Come on, Guys. Let's Talk About It. (The Tough Guys Angrily Pull Inspector Gadget) Oh, Man. Aaah, You're Stretching My Sweater. Gadget Mobile. HELLLLLLLLP!!!

Gadget Mobile:
(Snoring)

McKibble:
(Sees the Cops coming) The Cops. Come on, This Way.

Squint:
Let's Get Out of Here

Minions:
(Shouting)

Brick:
We Can Hide in My Mom's House.

Inspector Gadget:
(Getting Punched by Tough Guys) Oh, I Can See You're Upset.

Bartender:
Hey, Look. I'm Knocking His Block off.

Tough Guys:
(Laughing then Punch Inspector Gadget)

Inspector Gadget:
Oh, My Head.

G2:
(Walks in the bar and Confronts the Tough Guys) Stop This Felonious and Unlawful act or I Shall Have to Use Force.

Bartender:
Ooh, Look, Boys. Malibu Barbie is going to Get Rough with Us.

G2:
Very Well, You Were Warned. (Throws the nets at the Tough Guys)

Inspector Gadget:
Wowsers, she's Good.

Monkey:
(Chattering)

Tough Guys:
(Got Arrested and Screaming as They got Defeated)

Chief Quimby:
(Furious) GADGET! I told you specifically not to go to the stakeout!

Inspector Gadget:
That's not truly accurate, chief. You told me not to get within 100 yards of the stakeout and I posted myself exactly 101 yards away.

G2:
Then how did you manage to tangle up with me inside the warehouse?

Inspector Gadget:
Well, you gave me backup at the bar, I thought I'd give you backup at the warehouse.

G2:
I never need backup.

Inspector Gadget:
Fired? You can't fire me. I quit! (Quimby scoffs) Wait a second, I don't want to quit. Besides, Chief, it's not my fault. (Gadget pulls out a chip that Claw's men left on his back to prove to Chief Quimby that he has actually found evidence) Look what Baxter found on me: a circuit override chip.

Chief Quimby:
(Furious as he refuses to listen and doesn't care, since Gadget is fired) I don't care! Claw stole the laser, and you tarred and feathered the mayor in toothpaste, and caused $100,000 in damages! (sternly) Turn in your badge, Gadget.

Inspector Gadget:
(shocked) Oh, but Chief, all I ever wanted to be my entire life, was a crime fighter.

Chief Quimby:
(still stern) Your badge. (Gadget pulls out his badge from his coat pocket, and slides it in front of Chief Quimby) Well, that would be all... Mr. Gadget.

Penny:
Uncle Gadget, you can't give up now. Look what I got. [Presents a bowling shoe to her uncle] It's a bowling shoe. One of Claw's men drop it at the science convention.

Inspector Gadget:
[surprised] What were you doing at the science convention?

Penny:
Never mind that. We can solve it together, track down Claw and hopefully get you your job back.

Inspector Gadget:
[refuses to help, as he is already fired from the police] No. I'm through.

Penny:
Alright, I'll track down Claw myself.

Inspector Gadget:
[firmly, as he refuses to allow Penny to find more evidence by herself] No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You'll stay out of this. Do you understand? This is a grown-up problem.

Penny:
[begging] Uncle Gadget, just give me a chance. One chance.

Inspector Gadget:
[sincerely, since he has given up being a crime fighter] Look, the fact is, that there's nothing you or anyone can do to help me. I'll never be a crime fighter...never again.

Penny:
You don't believe in me. [She runs out of the room, crying]

Dr. Claw:
Now, the third item that we need... (sees a drawing of himself) Huh? "I'm so evil! Blah, blah, blah!" (flips board over) As I was saying, the third item to complete my superweapon...(taps on the chalkboard with a stick)

Brick:
I know this one. The ruby.

Dr. Claw:
Yes, but a big ruby, say, about 50,000 karats. (chuckles)

McKibble:
Your Clawsomeness, where we gonna find a rock that big?

Dr. Claw:
The Riverton Museum. The ruby will be unloaded by the Rajah of India Wednesday night at the Mayor's fundraising. We are going to stop by and do a little fundraising of our own. (laughs)

Mayor Wilson:
Do something to stop him, Chief Quimby!

Chief Quimby:
You'll never get away with this, Claw!

Dr. Claw:
We'll see.

Chief Quimby:
[still laughing] G2, see!

G2:
Very funny, Claw, but you forget. I am unaffected by laughing gas. Now...(prepares her net guns) stop this felonious and unlawful act, or I shall have to use force.

Dr. Claw:
Ah, the lady gadget. I've so looked forward to meeting you. I hope you don't fall victim to my... magnetic charm.

G2:
What happened?

Inspector Gadget:
I reactivated you.

G2:
Inspector Gadget, why you'd do that?

Inspector Gadget:
Well, I hate to see a good detective being recycled and I always have great admiration for your investigating abilities.

G2:
Inspector, are you saying you like me? (Gadget drinks some blue substance but spits it out)

Inspector Gadget:
Well, I suppose, in a man of speaking. Strictly professional.

(Inspector Gadget tap his hat to stop the heart icon)

G2:
Thank you.

Inspector Gadget:
You're welcome.

Inspector Gadget:
You've always said, Chief: "No one is above the law."

Chief Quimby:
That's what you said last week when you arrested that troop of girl rangers for selling cookies! (A flashback shows a group of girl scouts posing for mugshots)

Inspector Gadget:
Those cookies were three days past expiration date!

Penny:
Claw, you'll never get away with this.

Dr. Claw:
Penny, my dear, prepare to witness a great historical moment.

Penny:
Of your demise?

Dr. Claw:
I do enjoy your sense of humor.

McKibble:
Riverton is in a deep freeze your clawcity

Brick:
That means thime has stopped.

McKibble:
That's what I said.

Dr. Claw:
Good, now we won't have any trouble with traffic.

Penny:
Uncle Gadget.

Brick:
Dr. Claw, it's Gadget.

Dr. Claw:
Not again.

Penny:
Oh, Uncle Gadget.

Dr. Claw:
Not to worry. Time for Gadget to go out with a bang.

Brick:
He's still after us!

Dr. Claw:
McKibble! Lose him!

Brick:
(He sees Gadget making a funny face at the telescope screen) He's on the roof!

McKibble:
On the roof?

Penny:
Uncle Gadget, help!

Dr. Claw:
McKibble! Get him off!

McKibble:
Take some of this, Gadget! (He swerves the car around but Gadget is holding on to the telescope to avoid falling off)

Dr. Claw:
Time to switch to plan B!! (He grabs Penny and puts her in something)

Inspector Gadget:
Go Go Gadget can opener...hahaha! (He cuts out a hole in the roof and glares at Dr. Claw) Claw, stop the truck and come out with your claw up!

Dr. Claw:
You know, Gadget, there's one true detective in your family and it isn't you. Too bad you didn't listen to her when you had the chance.

Inspector Gadget:
Penny? Penny?

Dr. Claw:
Now it's time to say goodbye to me and to your partner.

(Dr. Claw drops Penny off the truck inside a go kart filled with explosives and chains)

Penny:
Uncle Gadget!

Inspector Gadget:
Penny, you okay?

Penny:
Claw is getting away.

Inspector Gadget:
That's not important right now. Penny, you are the only thing that matters to me.

Penny:
(Coughing in the smoke) Uncle Gadget? Uncle Gadget? [Gadget falls onto the car's hood]

Inspector Gadget:
Not to worry. I only landed on my head.

G2:
They're alive!

Gadgetmobile:
They're alive! They're alive!

G2:
They're alive!

Penny:
Uncle Gadget!

(Inspector Gadget and Penny hug)

Penny:
You saved my life!

Inspector Gadget:
I'm so worried about you.

G2:
Good work, Penny.

Penny:
Thanks to you, too.

Dr. Claw:
WHAAT??? It's Gadget again! There's only one way to deal with a pest. McKibble, run him over.

McKibble:
One order of road kill coming right up!

Baxter:
Good night, Gadget. See you on Monday.

Inspector Gadget:
Good night, Baxter.

Penny:
'Night, Baxter. Come on, Brain.

G2:
Inspector, I just wanted to say I may have been a bit premature in my eariler evauluation of your abilities.

Inspector Gadget:
Well, that's very bit of you, G2.

G2:
I was wrong to think of you as inept, clumsy, imbecilic...

Inspector Gadget:
Don't mention it.

G2:
Obsolete, simple-minded, malfunctioning...

Inspector Gadget:
Yes, yes, I get the picture.

G2:
Anyway, I look forward to more teamwork in the future.

(Inspector Gadget and G2 shake hands and they have glowing hearts in their hats. They kiss and Inspector Gadget's hat is shooting fireworks)