It's a Wonderful Afterlife

Speed dater:
I got speed dates to my left I got speed dates to my right Don't you worry about me I'll speed date you all night.

Kebab Woman:
[Now a ghost having been stabbed in the neck with a meat skewer] Why did you have too stab me in the neck with a meat kebab? You know I'm a vegetarian! Why couldn't you use something with hummus?

Curry Man:
[Haunting Mrs Sethi] You killed us for telling the truth? For just being too damn honest?

Mrs. Goldman:
[on being accidentally poisoned] I knew you're cooking would one day kill me!

Kebab Woman:
[as ghosts observing Roopi] She shouldn't drink so much

Curry Man:
[Muttering] She shouldn't eat so much... she'll scare everyone away

Curry Man:
[When Roopi states she's not going to India to find a husband] No great loss for India

Chief Superintendent:
Get me a suspect

D I Smythe:
[now a ghost] Well... this whole thing is ridiculous... I can't think of a worst motive in criminal history [all of Sethi's victims stare at the hedge clippers still stuck in his groin]

Mrs. Sethi:
Please let them be, don't make me harm you

D I Smythe:
Calm down [Mrs Sethi picks up a set of hedge clipper shears] My god... it's you

Mrs. Sethi:
Leave them

D I Smythe:
Put down the shears

Mrs. Sethi:
I don't want to harm you... please

[last lines]

D I Smythe:
Put down the shears

D I Smythe:
I can't let him marry a murderer

Mrs. Sethi:
She's not a murderer

Curry Man:
In truth you made me a much better man in death than I ever was in life

D I Smythe:
[before passing on] You can't let her getaway with this Murphy

D I Smythe:
[when the other ghosts say they don't mined being murdered] Yes we do she's a murderer, she deserves to be punished

Kebab Woman:
Oh you be quiet... You were an accident... You killed yourself WE'RE THE REAL VICTIMS... And do we mind? NO!

Mrs. Sethi:
[dying] I wanted to be with my husband... there's nothing left for me... except see you with a husband as good as mine.