It's Kind of a Funny Story

Dr. Eden Minerva:
Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference.

Craig:
[During a basketball practice in the hospital] How'd you end up in here?

Bobby:
Man, you don't give up, do you? I'm on vacation.

Craig:
Seriously.

Bobby:
I am serious. Some people go to Hamptons. I come here. Get a little R&R. People feed you. I get high sometimes, man.

Craig:
That's not what I've heard about you.

Bobby:
[sigh] What did you hear?

Craig:
[hesitating a bit] I heard you tried to rape a penguin at the zoo.

Bobby:
[straightening up] Who told you that?

Craig:
Okay, I know you're thinking, "What is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all his problems are cured?" But I'm not. I know I'm not. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends. My dad. But the difference between today and last Saturday is that for the first time in a while, I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life. Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe... Live.

Bobby:
Well, well, well! Still working on it, Cool Craig?

Craig:
It's not what you think.

Bobby:
I think the two of you were playing the question game outside, that's what I think.

Craig:
...Well, I... guess it is what you think then.

Bobby:
I thought so.

Bobby:
See, that's the part I don't get, Craig. I mean, you're cool, you're smart, you're talented. You have a family that loves you. You know, what I would do just to be you, for just a day? I would... I would do so much. I would... I don't know. I would just... I'd just live. Like it meant something.

Bobby:
I don't get wrapped up in a bunch of stuff I can't have.

Johnny:
Relax, it's just for fun, bro.

Bobby:
That's not fun. That's propaganda, man. All those Madison Avenue types telling you how to live your life. Fast cars, hot chicks... Reese's Pieces... Gucci... Werther's Original. I don't buy into that bullshit!

Bobby:
Hey, what's the pot up to now?

Johnny:
Eleven.

Bobby:
Eleven? Yesterday it was twelve.

Johnny:
Humble ate a buck.

Bobby:
Humble ate a buck?

Johnny:
The professor bet him a dollar he wouldn't eat it. He won.

Bobby:
What is the world coming to? [to Craig] Bunch of nut jobs in here, I'll tell you that.

Craig:
What's the money for?

Bobby:
Pizza party. So we don't have to eat this crap. They say we can have one, but we have to pay for it ourselves.

Craig:
Well, I have eight dollars.

Bobby:
[pauses] Well, you don't have to go bragging about it, Craig.

Dr. Eden Minerva:
So, let's talk about your parents.

Craig:
You think I can change my parents?

Dr. Eden Minerva:
No, but I'm a psychiatrist, so I have to ask you about them at some point.

Craig:
Take my dad. I just saw him today, like... and he knows I'm here 'cause I'm stressed out, but he still brings up the Gates application. It's, like, "Get a clue, Dad. There's something bigger going on here."

Dr. Eden Minerva:
And what's that?

Craig:
I don't know. But it feels big.

Craig:
You've had it figured out all along, Muqtada. Never get out of the bed.

Bobby:
I got in.

Craig:
In what?

Bobby:
In your mama.

Craig:
Do you like music?

Noelle:
Do you like breathing?

Noelle:
You know, Vampire Weekend's doing a show at the end of the month. Would you wanna go?

Craig:
Yes, I would! With you, right?

Noelle:
No, with Solomon. Yeah, with me!

Craig:
Seeing someone lose it like that. You know, it reminded me of how I feel sometimes. Like I'm on the verge of just blowing up. All the stress and pressure and anxiety just bubbling up. But I'm never able to let it out like that. You know, I just keep it inside.

Craig:
Time felt different back then. Like there was more of it.