Jack n' Jill

Clara Campbell:
Oh, your first wedding anniversary? How wonderful!

Jill Hill:
That's a matter of opinion.

Pete Campbell:
Jack, I've gotta tell you something. I've been dying to tell you about it all week.

Jack Hill:
You rode your bike for the first time without training wheels?

Jill Hill:
Darling, who was that?

Jack Hill:
That was my first obscene phone call. I think we should celebrate.

Jack Hill:
[answering telephone] Ajax Funeral Parlour! You Stiff 'Em, We Stuff 'Em!

Second Caller:
Hello! Is this Jack the Twat Teaser?

Jack Hill:
Depends on whose twat is being teased.

Jill Hill:
Was that the same girl?

Jack Hill:
No, that was a different one. I wonder where they get my phone number.

Jill Hill:
Probably off the bathroom walls.