Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang

Justice Rough, The Judge:
[after hearing Jacob speak] What was that squeaking noise?

Jailer:
Your lawyer's here.

Jacob Two Two:
My lawyer? What lawyer?

Jailer:
Tough luck, kid. Your lawyer is Louie the Loser.

Louie Loser:
[comes onto the scene eating a doughnut] Actualy, the name's "Loo-zar", "Loo-zar".

Jailer:
Sixteen years without winning a case? I don't think so. [to Jacob] Believe me, kid, the name's "loser"!

Mr. Fish:
[introducing the Hooded Fang] It is my pleasure... to introduce a man... did I say a man? I meant a low-down rat!

The Hooded Fang:
I am the fear of all fears... I am the nightmare of all nightmares... I am the monster that monsters run away from.

Louie Loser:
Your honor, I object!

Justice Rough, The Judge:
[menacing] Object? Object to what? Are you objecting to me!

Louie Loser:
No, I said I "in-ject". I inject my approval of what you said. Good call, judge, guilty!

Justice Rough, The Judge:
[to Jacob] I sentence you to two years, two months, two weeks, two days, two hours, two minutes... and *five* seconds... to the Slimers' Island Children Prison! [as he about to bang his gavel, he laughs evilly]

Justice Rough, The Judge:
[rapping] If he's let go, no grown-up will be safe/This boy is bent on evil/You can see it in his eyes/And he has the nerve to come in and fill my court with LIES!/He ought to be locked up... like all the other punks his size!

The Hooded Fang:
[to Miss Fowl] If I catch you eavesdropping again, I'll have you pan-fried Southern style.

Jacob Two Two:
[about his plan] Why isn't it working?

Ben:
Was that a rhetorical question?

Jacob Two Two:
[confused] What?

The Hooded Fang:
[lying to him about his job in a factory] You're gonna have a party, with cake and ice cream and all your friends are gonna come by and bring you presents. [bellows] You're gonna *WORK*!

Noah:
Keep your eye on the bowl, Two Two.