Jail Bait

"How can a great doctor have such a jerk for a son?" asks Ed Wood in his cheap dime store crime thriller about a sneering delinquent whose mania for handguns leads to murder. "I never thought carrying a gun would lead to this," he burbles to his far-too-understanding father, but it's too late. His cold-hearted partner Timothy Farrell blackmails Daddy (who just happens to be the most gifted plastic surgeon in the world) into giving him a new face, but Dad has a trick up his sleeve. Wood regular Lyle Talbot headlines as the investigating police inspector, former Mr. America and future Hercules Steve Reeves takes his shirt off for no good reason to flex his physique to the camera, and Wood's real-life girlfriend and frequent costar Dolores Fuller wears angora as the doctor's nice-girl daughter. "Cheap? Does this look joint look cheap to you?" demands the crook's gold-digging girlfriend? In a word, yes. There's a pleasing grungy B-movie aesthetic to Wood's nighttime location shooting, giving those moments a film noir flavor, but the rest of the film takes place on bland, generic sets with the flat look of a sitcom. Actually, flat is the operative word for this lethargic thriller: Wood displays his genius for arch dialogue and draws wooden performances from his largely mediocre cast. In other words, it's prime Ed Wood. The annoying guitar and piano score was borrowed from Mesa of Lost Women. --Sean Axmaker