Jersey Girl

Gertie:
I hate you! I hate you! I wish you died, not MOMMY!

Ollie:
I hate you right back you little sh*t! You and your mom took my life away from me. I just want it back!

Bart:
Sun even shines on a dog's ass some days.

Greenie:
You gettin' a dog?

Maya:
That was kinda sweet. I'm kinda crushin' on you right now, Trinke.

Ollie:
"Cats" is the second worst thing that ever happened to New York City.

Ollie:
George Michael is all about the ladies. "I want your sex". Does that sound like he's singing to a guy?

Bart:
Try acting like a father, sh*t-head.

Maya:
I do it at least twice a day.

Ollie:
Good God!

Ollie:
Come on, Dad. Don't you wanna live alone again?

Bart:
Not as much as I don't wanna die alone.

Maya:
Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are.

Maya:
Man cannot live on porn alone.

Bart:
If Gertie could see the sh*t you've been pulling.

Ollie:
Gertie can't see anything, Dad. She's dead.

Bart:
That's right, she is. But you aint. And neither is that kid.

Boy #3:
My Mum says my Dad has brown eyes because he is full of sh*t.

Will Smith:
'Ey, you Brickman?

Ollie:
No. I'm just a guy who'd rather play in the dirt with his kid.

Will Smith:
What's your daughter's name?

Ollie:
Gertrude.

Will Smith:
Damn why'd you do that man?