Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat

Narrator:
Then the Ishmaelites galloped off with a slave in tow, off to Egypt where Joseph was not keen to go; it wouldn't be a picnic he could tell.

Joseph:
And I don't speak Egyptian very well...

Simeon:
It's funny, but since we lost Joseph, we've gone to the other extreme.

Jacob:
No-one comes to dinner now!

Simeon:
...We'd only eat them, anyhow, I even find I'm missing Joseph's Dreams.

Reuben:
When I think of his last great battle a lump comes to my throat. It takes a man who knows no fear to wrestle... with a goat.

Joseph:
Benjamin! You nasty youth, your crime has shocked me to the core. *Never* in my whole career have I encountered this before. Guards! Seize him! Lock him in a cell. Throw the keys into the Nile as well.

Joseph:
Please stop, I don't believe in free love!

Mrs. Potiphar:
Pity.

Reuben:
We will starve if we hang around here.

Zebulun:
But in Egypt there's food going spare.

Asher:
They've got corn, they've got meat, they've got fruit *and* drinks.

Benjamin, Dan:
And if we have the time we could see the Sphinx!

Pharaoh:
Pharaoh is in the building!

Joseph:
All those things you see in your pajamas, are a long-range forecast for your farmers.

Narrator:
Way way back many centuries ago, Not long after the bible began, Jacob lived in the land of Caanan, A fine example of a family man. Jacob! Jacob and sons Depended on farming to earn thier keep. Jacob! Jacob and sons! Spent all of thier days in the fields with sheep. Jacob was the founder of a whole new nation, Thanks to the number of children he had. He was also known as Israel but most of the time, His sons and his wives used to call him dad. Jacob! Jacob and sons, Men of the soil, Of the sheef and crook. Jacob! Jacob and sons, A remarkable family in anyone's book.

Narrator:
Reuben!

Narrator:
Was the oldest of the children of Israel, with

Narrator:
Simeon!

Narrator:
And...

Narrator:
Levi!

Narrator:
The next in line...

Narrator:
Napthali!

Narrator:
Isaachar!

Narrator:
Asher!

Narrator:
Dan!

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Zebulan!

Narrator:
[with Gad] Gad! [by Herself] took the total to nine. [With brothers] Jacob! Jacob and sons!

Narrator:
Benjamin!

Narrator:
And [with Judah] Judah! [by herself] Which leaves only one. [with brothers] Jacob! Jacob and sons! [By herself] Joseph, Jacob's favorite son. [With brothers] Jacob! Jacob and sons! Jacob! Jacob and sons! Jacob! Jacob and sons! Jacob! Jacob! Jacob! Jacob and... sons!

Jacob:
Joseph's mother, she was quite my favorite wife, I never really loved another all my life. And Joseph was my joy because he reminded me of her

Narrator:
Through young Joseph, Jacob lived his youth again. Loved him, praised him, gave him all he could. But then, it made the rest feel second best. And even if they were...

Brothers:
Being told we're also-rans, does not make us Joseph's fans!

Narrator:
But where they had really missed the boat is...

Brothers:
We're great guys but no one seems to notice!

Narrator:
Joseph's charm and winning smiles, failed to slay them in the isles. And their father couldn't see the danger. He could not imagine any danger. He just saw in Joseph all his dreams come true. Jacob wanted to show the world he loved his son. To make it clear that Joseph was the special one so, Jacob bought his son a coat. A multi-colored coat to wear.

Jacob:
Joseph's coat was elegant, the cut was fine.

Brothers:
The tasteful style was the ultimate in good design.

Narrator:
And this is why it caught the eye...

Narrator, Brothers:
A king would stop and stare.

Narrator:
And when Joseph tried it on, he knew his sheepskin days were gone. Such as dazzling coat of many colors. How he loved his coat of many colors. In a class above the rest, it even went well with his vest. Such a stunning coat of many colors. How he loved his coat of many colors. It was red and yellow and green and brown and blue. Joseph's brothers weren't too pleased with what they saw.

Brothers:
We have never liked him all that much before, and now this coat has got our goat. We feel life is unfair!

Narrator:
And when Joseph graced the scene, his brothers turned a shade of green. His astounding clothing took the biscuit!

Brothers:
Quite the smoothest person in the district.

Joseph:
I look handsome, I look smart. I am a walking work of art. Such a dazzling coat of many colors. How I love my coat of many colors.

Narrator:
It was red and yellow and green and brown, And scarlet and black and ochre and peach. And ruby and olive and violet and fawn. And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve. And cream and crimson and silver and rose. And azure and lemon and russet and gray. And purple and white and pink and orange, And...

Joseph:
[Overlapping Narrator on line 16, staring at "fawn"] I look handsome I look smart. I am a walking work of art. Such a dazzling coat of many colors. How I love my coat of many colors. It was...

Narrator, Brothers, Joseph:
And red and yellow and green and brown. And scarlet and black and ochre and peach. And ruby and olive and violet and fawn. And lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve. And cream and crimson and silver and rose. And azure and lemon and russet and gray. And purple and white and pink and orange. And blue!

Narrator:
Next day, far from home, the brothers planned the repulsive crime.

Brothers:
Let us grab him now. Do him in while we've got the time!

Narrator:
This they did and made the most of it. Tore his coat and flung him in a pit!

Brothers:
Let us leave him here all alone and he's bound to die!

Narrator:
Then some Ishmaelites, a hairy crew, came riding by. In a flash the brothers changed their plan.

Brothers:
We need cash. Let's sell him if we can!

Narrator:
Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

[frightened by a snake]

Narrator:
Poor, poor Joseph, what'cha gonna do? Things look bad for you, hey, what'cha gonna do?

Brothers:
Could you use a slave, you hairy bunch of Ishmaelites! Young, strong, well-behaved. Going cheap, and he reads and writes!

Narrator:
In a trice the dirty deal was done. Silver coins for Jacob's favorite son! Then the Ishmaelites galloped off with the slave in tow. Off to Egypt were Joseph was not keen to go. It wouldn't be a picnic he could tell.

Joseph:
And I don't speak Egyptian very well!

Narrator:
Joseph's brothers tore his precious multi-colored coat. Having ripped it up, they next attacked a passing goat. Soon the wretched creature was no more. They dipped his coat in blood and guts and gore! Oh now brothers, how low can you stoop? You make a sordid group, hey, how low can you stoop? Poor, poor Joseph, sold to be a slave. Situation's grave, hey, sold to be a slave.

Narrator:
Guess what? In his bed, Pharaoh had an uneasy night. He had had a dream that pinned him to his sheets with fright. No one knew the meaning of the dream. What to do? Whatever could it mean? Then his Butler said...

Butler:
I know of a bloke in jail, who is hot on dreams. Could explain old Pharaoh's tale.

Narrator:
Pharaoh said...

Pharaoh:
Well fetch this Joseph man! I need him to help me if he can.

Narrator:
Poor poor Pharaoh. What'cha gonna do? Dreams are haunting you. Hey, what'cha gonna do? Chained and bound, afraid, alone! Joseph stood before the throne.

Joseph:
My service to Pharaoh has begun. Tell me your problems, mighty one.

Pharaoh:
Pharaoh is in the building!

[first lines]

Narrator:
Some folks dream of the wonders they'll do before they're time on this planet is through. Some just don't have anything planned, they hide their hopes and their heads in the sand. Now I don't say who is wrong, who is right. But if by chance you are here for the night, then all I need is an hour or two to tell the tale of a dreamer like you.

Narrator:
We all dream a lot. Some are lucky, some are not. But if you think it, want it, dream it, then it's real. You are what you feel. But all that I say can be told another way, in the story of a boy whose dream came true. And it could be you.

[last lines]

Joseph:
Give me my colored coat. My amazing colored coat.

Judah:
Sure as de tide wash de golden sand, Benjamin is an innocent man, sure as bananas need de sun, we are de criminal, guilty ones!