Jumanji

Alan Parrish:
In the jungle you must wait / 'Til the dice read five or eight.

Alan Parrish:
I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. Things you can't even imagine. Things you can't even see. There are things that hunt you in the night. Then something screams. Then you hear them eating, and you hope to God that you're not dessert. Afraid? You don't even know what afraid is.

Judy Shepherd:
What happened to you? You shave with a piece of glass?

Alan Parrish:
What happened to you? The Clampett's have a yard sale?

Judy Shepherd:
Don't be fooled it isn't thunder, staying put would be a blunder.

Young Sarah:
At night they fly, you better run. These winged things are not much fun.

Gun salesman:
You're not a postal worker, are you?

Sarah Whittle:
Alan, you wrestled an alligator for me.

Alan Parrish:
It was a crocodile. Alligators don't have that little fringe on their hind leg.

Sarah Whittle:
My mistake.

Peter Shepherd:
This will not be an easy mission - monkeys slow the expedition.

Judy Shepherd:
A law of the jungle has been broken - it will set back more than your token."

Sarah Whittle:
You tried to cheat?

Peter Shepherd:
I tried to drop the dice so they would land on twelve.

Sarah Whittle:
Don't ever call me crazy, Alan! Ever! 'Cause everyone in this town has called me crazy ever since I told them that you were sucked into a board game!

Sarah Whittle:
You did just see three monkeys go by on a motorcycle; right?

Judy Shepherd:
Yeah.

Sarah Whittle:
Good girl.

Sarah Whittle:
A little rain never hurt anybody!

Alan Parrish:
Yeah but a lot can kill you!

Alan Parrish:
Stop giving me things that come apart.

Judy Shepherd:
Alan, ready?

Alan Parrish:
There is no "ready".

Sarah Whittle:
They grow much faster than bamboo. Take care or they'll come after you.

Alan Parrish:
You gotta roll with the punches.

Aunt Nora:
We'll go out for ice cream...

Aunt Nora:
and bourbon.

Alan Parrish:
What year is it?

Carl:
It was brand new.

Alan Parrish:
What, are you crying? You don't cry, all right? You keep your chin up. Come on, keep your chin up. Crying never helped anybody do anything, okay? You have a problem you face it like a man.

Alan Parrish:
. Twenty-six years buried in the deepest, darkest jungle and I still became my father.

Alan Parrish:
Okay, it's my turn. I got it. "Colonel Mustard in the Library with a wrench."

Alan Parrish:
"Clue."

Judy Shepherd:
A tiny bit can make you itch, make you sneeze, make you twitch.

Peter Shepherd:
"His fangs are sharp. He likes your taste. Your party better move poste haste."

Judy Shepherd:
I don't like the sound of that.

Sarah Whittle:
Every month at the quarter moon, there'll be a monsoon, in your lagoon.

Alan Parrish:

A hunter from the darkest wild, will make you feel just like a child.

[after Alan jumps onto Carl's car]

Alan:
What year is it?

Carl:
It was brand-new.

Alan:
No. What year is it?

Judy:
Uh, 1995. Remember?

Alan:
'95?

Carl:
You got some ID? Oh, lemme guess, you probably left it in the other Tarzan outfit, right?

Alan:
[to himself] 26 years!

Carl:
Are you from around here?

Alan:
I was. But I've been in Jumanji.

Judy:
Indonesia. He was in the Peace Corps.

Carl:
[about Alan] Is this man related to you?

Judy:
Yes, sir. He's our... uncle.

Carl:
Does he always dress like that?

Judy:
Well, yeah. He's a... vegetarian.

[Alan watches as a pair of monkeys climb into Carl's squad car]

Alan:
GET OUTTA THERE!!! [screeches and makes monkey noises; to Judy, Peter, and Carl] Monkeys! Monkeys!

Carl:
Is he all right upstairs?

Judy:
He suffered a head injury a few months ago.

[Alan runs after a pelican who has the game in his beak]

Alan:
WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB THE GAME, PETER?!

Sarah:
Just ignore him, honey. He's a libra. [to Alan] Where are you going?!

Alan:
He'll head for water!

Sarah:
What happened?

Peter:
I thought I could end the game myself. I was only 10 spaces away.

Judy:
[reads a notice in the center of the board] A law of Jumanji having been broken, you will slip back even more than your token.

Sarah:
You tried to cheat?

Peter:
No! I tried to drop the dice so they'd land on 12.

Sarah:
Oh, okay, honey. Well, that would be cheating.

Judy:
Peter, your hands! Look at your hands! [Peter sees monkey fur growing on his hands as the penalty for cheating]

Alan:
Where's Sir Sav-A-Lot?

Carl:
Monroe and Elm!

Alan:
The Episcopal Church.

Carl:
No, it's not a church anymore. Now it's a Speedy Burger. Or at least it was. I don't know what's left of it. People in this town are goin' loopy.

Sarah:
Alan, please, last time I played this game, it ruined my life.

Alan:
[laughs] It ruined your life? "In the jungle, you must wait 'til the dice read five or eight."

Sarah:
I was a little girl, Alan. You disappeared, and a bunch of bats surrounded me and chased me down the street. I was afraid. I'm sorry, Alan. No one believed me. I was all alone.

Alan:
So was I. For 26 years, Sarah.

[Judy is reading the rules of Jumanji as Peter looks out the window to watch the remaining monkeys disperse]

Judy:
[reads] Adventurers beware: do not begin unless you intend to finish. The exciting consequences of the game, will vanish only when a player has reached Jumanji and called out its name.

Peter:
The monkeys are gone.

Judy:
Good.

Alan Parrish:
STOP GIVING ME THINGS THAT COME APART!!!

Judy:
We barely even knew our parents. They were always away. Skiing in St. Moritz, gambling in Monte Carlo, safariing in darkest Africa. We didn't even know if they loved us. But when the sheik's yacht went down, they managed to write us a really beautiful goodbye note that was found floating in a champagne bottle amongst the debris.

Carl:
[after a jungle vine takes his car away] FINE!! TAKE IT!!

Judy:
Well, we found out why you got this house so cheap. 26 years ago, a kid named Alan Parrish used to live here. Then 1 day, he just disappeared 'cause his parents chopped him up in little pieces and hid him in the walls.

Aunt Nora:
[to Judy] Okay, that's it. I'm sick and tired of your lies, young lady. You're grounded.

Judy:
Fine, there's nowhere to go in this stupid town anyway. And just for your information, that wasn't a lie.

Sarah:
WHOOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!! [Alan grabs Sarah's arms] Oohh! Get your hands off me!

Alan:
The game is not over yet, Sarah!

Judy:
I don't like the sound of that.

Peter:
Judy, someone's in here.

Judy:
It's not real, Peter. It's a hallucination. Run, Peter! Run!

Van Pelt:
Don't move. Stand up. [Alan does so] What's in your hand? Drop it. [Alan releases the dice; one hits the board and lands on 1, while the other tumbles down into a nearby staircase] End of the line, Sonny Jim. Game's up. Stop running.

Alan:
No.

Van Pelt:
Aren't you afraid?

Alan:
I'm terrified. But, my father told me... You should always face what you're afraid of. [the dice keeps rolling down into the fissure]

Van Pelt:
[laughs] Good lad. You're finally acting like a man. Any last words? [the dice eventually stops, and lands on 2; this causes Alan's piece to move to the center of the board, where the word "Jumanji" appears, signaling that Alan has won the game)

Alan:
Jumanji.

Van Pelt:
Huh?

Alan:
Jumanji. [Van Pelt fires]

Sarah:
[jumping in front of the bullet] No, Alan, no!

[the bullet stops in mid-air and gets sucked into the game, as does Van Pelt and all the wild animals released, who fly in through a nearby window and converge on a maelstrom over the center of the board, which draws in everything it released]

Alan Parrish:
I've got it! Colonel Mustard in the library with the wrench. [laughs] Clue.