Kill Bill: Vol. 1

The Bride:
Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now. EXCEPT YOU, SOFIE! You stay right where you are!

The Bride:
It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it comin'. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.

Bill:
Do you find me sadistic? You know, I bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to. You know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Well, maybe towards those other... jokers, but not you. No Kiddo, at this moment, this is me at my most...

Bill:
masochistic.

The Bride:
Bill... it's your baby...

Copperhead:
So I suppose it's a little late for an apology, huh?

The Bride:
You suppose correctly.

Copperhead:
You have every right to want to get even.

The Bride:
No. No. To get even? Even-Steven? I would have to kill you, go up to Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your husband, the good Doctor Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Verntia. That'd be about square.

The Bride:
Go-Go, I know you feel you must protect your mistress. But I beg you, walk away now.

Go Go Yubari:
You call that begging? You can beg better than that.

Hattori Hanzo:
I'm done doing what I swore an oath to God 28 years ago to never do again. I've created, "something that kills people." And in that purpose I was a success. I've done this, because philosophically I'm sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword. If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.

O-Ren Ishii:
You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

The Bride:
You know, for a second there, yeah, I kinda did.

O-Ren Ishii:
Silly rabbit.

The Bride:
Trix are for...

O-Ren Ishii:

O-Ren Ishii:
Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with Samurai swords.

Budd:
That woman deserves her revenge and we deserve to die.

Elle Driver:
Thought that was pretty f***in' funny didn't you? Word of advice, shithead - don't you ever wake up.

O-Ren Ishii:
As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced that a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so, but allow me to convince you and I promise you right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo. Except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is... I collect your f***ing head. Just like this f***er here. Now, if any of you sons of b*tches got anything else to say, now's the f***ing time!

O-Ren Ishii:
I didn't think so.

The Bride:
As I said before, I've allowed you to keep your wicked life for two reasons. And the second reason is so you can tell him in person everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.

Copperhead:
So when do we do this?

The Bride:
It all depends on when do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

Copperhead:
How about tonight, b*tch?

The Bride:
Splendid, where?

The Bride:
You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your daughter.

Copperhead:
That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.

The Bride:
It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack; not rationality.

Elle Driver:
I might never have liked you. Point in fact I despise you. But that doesn't suggest I don't respect you. Dying in our sleep is a luxury our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.

The Bride:
Wiggle your big toe.

O-Ren Ishii:
You might not be able to fight like a samurai, but you can at least die like a samurai.

Japanese Businessman:
Do you like Ferraris?

Go Go Yubari:
Ferraris... Italian trash.

Go Go Yubari:
Do you want to screw me?

Go Go Yubari:
Don't laugh. Do you want to screw me, yes or no?

Japanese Businessman:
Yes.

Go Go Yubari:
How about now, big boy? Do you still wish to penetrate me?... Or is it I who has penetrated you?

Hattori Hanzo:
For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.

Proprietor:
You have to say, "Yes, yes, yes" to any selfish demands they make.

Charlie Brown:
They demand ridiculous things.

Proprietor:
Shut up! Do you know what would happen if they heard you?

Charlie Brown:
What's gonna happen?

Proprietor:
Did you hear about the Tanaka clan? You're gonna get your head cut off.

Charlie Brown:
No, I don't want that.

Earl McGraw:
Son number one?

Edgar McGraw:
Yeah?

Earl McGraw:
This tall drink of cocksucker ain't dead.

O-Ren (voice):
Look at me Matsumoto... Take a good look at my face. Look at my eyes. Look at my mouth. Do I look familiar? Do I look like somebody... you murdered

Vernita Green:
Black Mamba. I shoulda been motherf***in' Black Mamba.

The Bride:
B*tch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter, does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn f***in thing you've done in the subsequent four years, including getting knocked up, is going to change that.

The Bride:
You and I have unfinished business.

Bill:
One more thing, Sofie... is she aware her daughter is still alive?

The Bride:
As I lay in the back of Buck's truck, trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the c*nts that did this to me and the dick responsible. Members all of Bill's brainchild - the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other, that not only God exists, you're doing his will.

The Bride:
My Baby. My Baby.

Elle Driver:
She must suffer to her last breath.

O-Ren Ishii:
That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.

Hattori Hanzo:
Funny, you like samurai swords... I like baseball.

Earl McGraw:
Well, give me the gory details, Son Number One.

Edgar McGraw:
It's a goddamn massacre, Pop. They wiped out the whole wedding party, execution-style.

Earl McGraw:
Give me a figure.

Edgar McGraw:
Nine dead bodies. And we're talking the whole shebang: Bride, Groom, Reverend, Reverend's wife... hell, they even shot that old colored fella that plays the organ.

Earl McGraw:
It would appear someone objected to this union and wasn't able to hold their peace.

Edgar McGraw:
What'd I tell you, Pop? It's like a goddamn Nicaraguan death squad.

Earl McGraw:
You'd better sh*t-can that blasphemy, boy. You're in a house of worship.

Earl McGraw:
Well, this is definitely the work of professionals. I'd guess-timate Mexican Mafia hit squad. Four, maybe five strong.

Edgar McGraw:
How can you tell?

Earl McGraw:
Well a sure and steady hand did this. This ain't no squirrelly amateur. This is the work of a salty dog. You can tell by the cleanliness of the carnage. Now a kill-crazy rampage though it may be, all the colors are kept within the lines. If you was a moron, you could almost admire it.

Earl McGraw:
Who's the bride?

Edgar McGraw:
Don't know. The name on the marriage certificate is "Arlene Machiavelli." That's a fake. We've all just been calling her "The Bride" on account of the dress.

Earl McGraw:
You can tell she was pregnant. Man'd have to be a mad dog to shoot a goddamn good-looking gal like that in the head. Look at her. Hay-colored hair, big eyes. She's a little blood-spattered angel.

Buck:
Price is $75 a f***, my friend. You getting your freak on, or what?

Trucker:
Oh yeah, boy.

Buck:
Now here are the rules. Rule Number One: no punching her. The nurse comes in tomorrow and she got a shiner or less some teeth, jig's up. So, no knuckle sandwiches under no circumstances. And by the way, this little c*nt's a spitter. It's a motor-reflex thing. But spit or not, no punching. Now, are we absolutely, positively clear on Rule Number One?

Trucker:
Yeah.

Buck:
Good. Now, Rule Number Two: no monkey bites, and no hickeys. In fact, no leaving no marks of any kind on her. After that, it's all good, buddy. Now, her plumbing down there don't work no more, so feel free to come in her all you want. Keep the noise down, try not to make a mess. I'll be back in twenty.

Buck:
Oh, sh*t! By the way, not every time but sometimes this chick's cooch will get drier than a bucket of sand. If she's dry, just lube up with this,

Buck:
and you'll be good to go. Bon Appetite, good buddy.

Bill:
Sofie, Sofie, my Sofie. I'm so sorry.

Sofie Fatale:
Please... please forgive my betrayal.

Bill:
No more of that.

Sofie Fatale:
But still...

Bill:
But still nothing. Nothing, except my aching heart, at what she's done to my beautiful and brilliant Sofie.

O-Ren Ishii:
For mocking you earlier, I apologize.

The Bride:
It's not what you have, it's what you think you have.