Kill Bill: Volume 1

Bill:
[To The Bride] Do you find me sadistic? You know, I'll bet I could fry an egg on your head right now if I wanted to. No, Kiddo, I'd like to believe you're aware enough, even now, to know there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Maybe towards those other jokers, but not you. No, Kiddo, this moment, this is me at my most … masochistic.

Bill:
Do you really have to guess?

The Bride:
It's mercy, compassion and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.

The Bride:
Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn f***ing thing you've done in the subsequent four years, including getting knocked up, is going to change that.

The Bride:
[To Vernita Green's daughter] It was not my intention to do this in front of you. For that, I'm sorry. But you can take my word for it, your mother had it coming. When you grow up, if you still feel raw about it, I'll be waiting.

The Bride:
When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other that not only does God exist, you're doing his will.

The Bride:
Wiggle your big toe.

The Bride:
Okinawa. One way.

The Bride:
[O-Ren] swore revenge. Luckily for her, Boss Matsumoto was a pedophile. At age eleven, she got her revenge.

The Bride:
[On Gogo Yubari] What she lacks in age, she makes up for in madness.

The Bride:
So, O-Ren…any more subordinates for me to kill?

The Bride:
You know, for a second there…yeah, I kinda did.

The Bride:
[Punctuating each word by spanking a boy with the blunt edge of her sword] This - is what - you get - for f***ing - around - with Yakuzas! Go home to your mother!

The Bride:
Those of you lucky enough to still have your lives, take them with you! But leave the limbs you have lost. They belong to me now. [Shouting] Except you, Sofie! You stay right where you are!

The Bride:
[To O-Ren in Japanese] You and I have unfinished business! (Shoubu wa mada tsuicha inai yo!)

The Bride:
I am gonna ask you questions. And every time you don't give me answers, I'm gonna cut something off. And I promise you, they will be things you will miss.

The Bride:
As I said before, I've allowed you to keep your wicked life for two reasons. And the second reason is so you can tell him [Bill] in person everything that happened here tonight. I want him to witness the extent of my mercy by witnessing your deformed body. I want you to tell him all the information you just told me. I want him to know what I know. I want him to know I want him to know. And I want them all to know they'll all soon be as dead as O-Ren.

Elle Driver:
I might never have liked you, point in fact I despised you. But that shouldn't suggest that I don't respect you. Dying in our sleep is a luxury that our kind is rarely afforded. My gift to you.

Elle Driver:
Thought that was pretty f***ing funny, didn't you? Word of advice, shithead: don't you ever wake up.

Hattori Hanzo:
… What do you want with Hattori Hanzo?

Hattori Hanzo:
Funny. You like samurai swords; I like baseball. [throws a ball at the Bride, who slices it in midair]

Hattori Hanzo:
I've done what I swore an oath to God twenty-eight years ago to never do again. I've created "something that kills people". And in that purpose, I was a success. I've done this because, philosophically, I'm sympathetic to your aim. I can tell you, with no ego, this is my finest sword. If, on your journey, should you encounter God, God will be cut.

Hattori Hanzo:
旅の途上で、神がただ…神が立ちはだかれば、神をも切れるであろう。(If on your journey should you encounter God, God will be cut.)

Hattori Hanzo:
For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat, the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat.

Hattori Hanzo:
Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest, and like a forest it's easy to lose your way … to get lost … to forget where you came in.

O-Ren Ishii:
As your leader, I encourage you, from time to time and always in a respectful manner, to question my logic. If you're unconvinced a particular plan of action I've decided is the wisest, tell me so! But allow me to convince you. And I promise you, right here and now, no subject will ever be taboo … except, of course, the subject that was just under discussion. The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is - I collect your f***ing head. [Holds up Tanaka's head] Just like this f***er here. Now, if any of you sons of b*tches got anything else to say, now's the f***ing time! [Pause] I didn't think so.

O-Ren Ishii:
You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

O-Ren Ishii:
Tear the b*tch apart!

O-Ren Ishii:
Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.

O-Ren Ishii:
Silly Caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords.

O-Ren Ishii:
You might not be able to fight like a samurai, but you can at least die like a samurai.

O-Ren Ishii:
That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword.

Vernita Green:
Black Mamba. I should have been motherf***ing Black Mamba.

Buck:
My name is Buck, and I'm here to f***.

Sofie:
Burn in hell, you stupid, stupid blonde! I'll tell you nothing!

Sofie:
Guessing won't be necessary. She informed me.

Budd:
[on The Bride] That woman deserves her revenge, and we deserve to die.

Vernita:
You have every right to want to get even.

The Bride:
No. No. To get even? Even Steven? I would have to kill you, go up to Nikki's room, kill her, then wait for your husband, the good Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.

Bill:
Elle, you're going to abort the mission.

Elle Driver:
What?!

Bill:
We owe her better than that.

Elle Driver:
[screaming] Oh, you don't owe her sh*t!

Bill:
Will you keep your voice down?

Elle Driver:
[quietly] You don't owe her sh*t.

Bill:
May I say one thing?

Elle Driver:
Speak.

Bill:
Y'all beat the hell out of that woman, but you didn't kill her. And I put a bullet in her head, but her heart just kept on beatin'. Now, you saw that yourself with your own beautiful blue eye, did you not? We've done a lot of things to this lady; and if she ever wakes up, we'll do a whole lot more. But one thing we won't do is sneak into her room in the night like a filthy rat and kill her in her sleep. And the reason we won't do that thing is because... that thing would lower us. Don't you agree, Miss Driver?

Elle Driver:
I guess.

Bill:
Do you really have to guess?

Elle Driver:
[sighs] No. I don't really have to guess. I know.

Earl McGraw:
Son Number 1?

Son Number 1:
Yeah?

Earl McGraw:
This tall drink of blonde cocksucker ain't dead.

Earl McGraw:
Who's the bride?

Edgar McGraw:
Don't know. The name on the marriage certificate is "Arlene Machiavelli." That's a fake. We've all just been calling her "The Bride" on account of the dress.

Earl McGraw:
You can tell she was pregnant. Man'd have to be a mad dog to shoot a goddamn good-looking gal like that in the head. Look at her. Hay-colored hair, big eyes. She's a little blood-spattered angel.

Japanese Businessman:
Do you like Ferraris?

Gogo Yubari:
[smacks down beverage bottle] Ferrari? Italian trash. Do you want to screw me?

[Japanese Businessman giggles]

Gogo:
Don't laugh! Do you want to screw me, yes or no?

Businessman:
Yes.

[Gogo stabs him]

Gogo:
How about now, big boy? Do you still wish to penetrate me? Or is it I … who has penetrated you?

The Bride:
Our reputations precede us.

Gogo Yubari:
Don't they?

The Bride:
Gogo, I know you feel you must protect your mistress. But I beg you, walk away.

[Go-Go giggles girlishly]

Gogo:
You call that begging?

[serious tone]

Gogo:
You can beg better than that!

Sushi Bar Assistant:
[in Japanese] What'd ya want?

The Bride:
[in English] I beg your pardon?

Hattori Hanzo:
[in English] Oh … "drink" [makes drinking motion with hand]

The Bride:
[in English] Oh, yes, a bottle of warm sake please.

Hattori Hanzo:
[in English] Warm sake? Very good. [in Japanese] One warm sake.

Sushi Bar Assistant:
[in Japanese] Sake? In the middle of the day?

Hattori Hanzo:
[in Japanese] Day, night, afternoon, who gives a damn? Get the sake.

Sushi Bar Assistant:
[in Japanese] How come I always have to get the sake? You listen well … for thirty years, you make the fish, I get the sake. If this were the military, I'd be General by now.

Hattori Hanzo:
[in Japanese] Oh, so you'd be General, huh? If you were General, I'd be Emperor, and you'd still get the sake. So shut up and get the sake. [in English] Do you understand?

Hattori Hanzo:
What do you want with Hattori Hanzo?

The Bride:
I need Japanese steel.

Hattori:
Why do you need Japanese steel?

The Bride:
I have vermin to kill.

Hattori:
You must have big rats if you need Hattori Hanzo's steel.

The Bride:
Huge.

O-Ren:
Silly rabbit.

The Bride:
Trix are for …

O-Ren:
… kids.

O-Ren:
You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

The Bride:
You know, for a second there … yeah, I kinda did.

O-Ren:
For ridiculing you earlier, I apologize.

The Bride:
Accepted.

[Long pause while both catch their breath]

The Bride:
Ready?

O-Ren:
Come on.

The Bride:
How did you find me?

Bill:
I'm the man.

Copperhead:
So I suppose it's a little late for an apology, huh?

The Bride:
You suppose correctly.

Copperhead:
Look, b*tch... I need to know if you're going to start any more sh*t around my baby girl.

The Bride:
You can relax for now. I'm not going to murder you in front of your child, okay?

Copperhead:
That's being more rational than Bill led me to believe you were capable of.

The Bride:
It's mercy, compassion, and forgiveness I lack. Not rationality.

Copperhead:
Look. I know I f***ed you over. I f***ed you over bad. I wish to God I hadn't, but I did. You have every right to want to get even.

The Bride:
No, no, no, no, no. No, to get even, even-Steven... I would have to kill you... go up to Nikki's room, kill her... then wait for your husband, the good Dr. Bell, to come home and kill him. That would be even, Vernita. That'd be about square.

Copperhead:
So when do we do this?

The Bride:
It all depends. When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

Copperhead:
How about tonight, b*tch?

The Bride:
Splendid. Where?

Here comes the bride.

In 2003, Uma Thurman will Kill Bill.

On October 10th, speak softly and carry a big sword.

The Bride:
[narrating] The young girl in the school uniform is O-Ren's personal bodyguard, 17 year old Gogo Yubari. Gogo may be young, but what she lacks in age, she makes up for in madness.

[Flashback shows Gogo with her hair in pigtails drinking an alcoholic beverage while a businessman tries to flirt with her]

Japanese Businessman:
Do you like Ferraris?

Gogo Yubari:
Ferrari? Italian trash. [smacks down beverage bottle] Do you want to screw me?

[Japanese Businessman giggles, offending Gogo.]

Gogo:
Don't laugh! Do you want to screw me, yes or no?

Businessman:
Yes.

[Gogo stabs him]

Gogo:
How about now, big boy? Do you still wish to penetrate me? Or is it I … who has penetrated you?

The Bride:
See what I mean.

The Bride:
Is that what I think it is?

O-Ren:
You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

The Bride:
You know, for a second there ... yeah, I kinda did.

O-Ren:
Silly rabbit.

The Bride:
Trix are for...

O-Ren:
...kids.

Vernita:
Look, if I could go back in a machine, I would. But I can't. All can tell you is that I'm a different person now.

The Bride:
Oh great. I don't care.

Vernita:
Be that as it may, I know I don't deserve your mercy or your forgiveness. However, I beseech you for both on behalf of my daughter.

The Bride:
B*tch, you can stop right there. Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter does not mean parading her around in front of me is going to inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business. And not a goddamn f***ing thing you've done in the subsequent four years including getting knocked up is going to change that.

Vernita:
So when do we do this?

The Bride:
It all depends. When do you want to die? Tomorrow? The day after tomorrow?

Vernita:
How about tonight, b*tch?

The Bride:
Splendid. Where?

Vernita:
There's a baseball diamond where I coach Little League about a mile from here. We meet there around two-thirty in the morning dressed all in black. Your hair in a black stocking. And we have us a knife fight. We won't be bothered. Now... I have to fix Nikki's cereal.

O-Ren:
[in English] Your instrument is quite impressive. [in Japanese] Where was it made?

The Bride:
[in English] Okinawa.

O-Ren:
[in Japanese] Whom in Okinawa made you this steel?

The Bride:
[in English] This is Hattori Hanzo steel.

O-Ren:
[in Japanese] YOU LIE! [the Bride shows an Hattori Hanzo marking on her sword] Mmm-hmm. Swords, however, never get tired. I hope you saved your energy. If you haven't... You might not last five minutes. But as last looks go, you could do worse.

The Bride:
[about O-Ren] O-Ren Ishii was born on an American military base in Tokyo, Japan. The half Japanese half Chinese American army brat made her first acquaintance with death at the age of 9. It was that age she witnessed the death of her parents at the hands of Japan's most ruthless Yakuza boss, Boss Matsumoto. She swore revenge. Luckily, for her, Boss Matsumoto was a pedophile. At 11, she got her revenge. By 20, she was one of the top female assassins in the world. At 25, she did her part in the killing of 9 innocent people, including my unborn daughter, in a small wedding chapel in El Paso, Texas. But on that day, four years ago, she made one big mistake......She should've killed 10.

O-Ren Ishii:
[in Japanese] Swords, however, never get tired. I hope you saved your energy. If you haven't... You may not last five minutes. But as last looks go, you could do worse.

Opening Caption:
Revenge is a dish best served cold.

The Bride:
O-REN ISHII! Shoubu wa mada tsuicha inai yo! [calling out O-Ren in Japanese: "You and I have unfinished business!"]