Kim Possible

[repeated line]

Kim:
So not the drama.

Ron Stoppable:
I am, what I is.

Dr. Drakken:
Oh look, it's Kim Possible and her friend.

Ron:
Hello, I've got a name.

Dr. Drakken:
Which I can never remember.

[repeated line]

Ron:
Boo-yah!

Camille Leon:
[repeated Line] Do you know who I am?

[repeated line]

Kim:
Hey Ron...

[repeated line]

Dr. Drakken:
Kim Possible, you think you're all that, but you're not!

[repeated line]

Kim:
What's the sitch?

[Repeated Line]

Tim Possible:
Hicka-bicka-boo?

Jim Possible:
Hoo-sha.

[repeated lines]

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Mother of Pearl!

[repeated line]

Kim:
[Kimmunicator beeps] Go, Wade.

[Ron sabotages Drakken's airship]

Drak-Force One Computer:
Self-destruct in twenty...

Dr. Drakken:
Gah! What did you do?

[imitating Sally from q:
'A Charlie Brown Christmas']

Dr. Drakken:
This is my chance to rule the world! All I want is what's coming to me! All I want is my fair share!

[Ron and Drakken are stranded at the North Pole]

Ron Stoppable:
My fault? It's not my fault!

Dr. Drakken:
This is so your fault!

Ron Stoppable:
What, I'm supposed to let you take over the world?

Dr. Drakken:
In the spirit of the season, yes!

[stranded at the North Pole without food, Ron finds a half-eaten chicken leg in the escape pod's garbage]

Dr. Drakken:
Name your price, Stoppable! Power? Glory? When I take over the world, you can have a continent! Any continent... not Europe.

[after Shego leaves for her vacation]

Dr. Drakken:
Fine! I'll get me some me-time! Soon I, Doctor Drakken, will rule the Yule! The world will have a blue Christmas! [laughs diabolically, then trails off and sighs] It's just not the same when I rant to myself.

Ron Stoppable:
So where are we in the Possible family Christmas Eve schedule?

Kim Possible:
Just started. Lighting the house is always first.

Ron Stoppable:
[rubs his eyes because of all the lights] Right. Yeah, yeah, I caught that.

Ron Stoppable:
[on the phone] Yes, information? I'd like the number for 911 immediately, please!

Shego:
Here you go, chief: one stolen... battery thing. Feliz Navidad.

Dr. Drakken:
Excellent, Shego! Drakforce One is complete. And this time, Kim Possible will not get in the way.

Shego:
Okay, why is that?

Dr. Drakken:
Because it is Christmas! The one time of the year she is off-duty. Busy with her twinkle-lights and mistletoe, and carols, and roast beast, and frim-franglers, and zoob-zooblers...

Shego:
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dr. D!

Dr. Drakken:
What?

Shego:
You've stopped using words.

Dr. Drakken:
The Possibles! Join us, won't you?

Nana Possible:
Isn't that Kimberly Ann's arch-foe?

Dr. James Timothy Possible:
[laughs] 'Tis the season!

Dr. Drakken:
[cheerfully] Of course, once we enter the new year, the truce is over. I'm going to open a bag of freak on all of you!

Jim Possible:
This is the weirdest Christmas ever.

Tim Possible:
Hoo-sha!

Shego:
[Drakken hosts an impromptu Christmas gathering] Uh, Dr. D? Are you serious?

Dr. Drakken:
Of course! Because: "To the people far and near..."

Ron Stoppable, Dr. Drakken:
"... Snowman Hank brought holiday cheer!"

Kim Possible:
This is... this is... I... I don't know what this is...

Dr. Drakken:
[pushing Kim and Ron together] Look who's under the mistletoe!

Ron Stoppable:
[laughs nervously] Well... really it's some old parsley I found in the dumpster, but...

[Kim kisses Ron on the cheek]

Ron Stoppable:
Oh!

Rufus:
Awww...

Tim Possible:
[after the TV has gone staticy] Dad, please!

Jim Possible:
You're a *rocket* scientist! Can't you *do* something?

Dr. Possible:
Well, I could put it in geo-synchronous orbit, but I'm not sure how that would help.

Ron Stoppable:
I'll do it! I'm a born reporter. I can smell a story from a mile away!... Maybe Kim has an idea.

Dr. Possible:
He never forgave us for that, and in a way, I guess we never forgave ourselves.

Kim:
For a little giggle fit?

Dr. Possible:
Oh no, we laughed for days. Long and loud. With youthful abandon!

Kim:
Oh. That's bad.

[on Ron's mascot costume]

Bonnie:
This idea is idiotic! The entire student body will laugh at you.

Ron:
But...

Bonnie:
Not with, *at*.

Ron:
But...

Bonnie:
Loudly and cruelly, they will laugh.

[Rufus licks banana cream filling off of Bonnie]

Ron:
You don't deserve to be kissed by a naked mole-rat.

[via Communicator]

Kim:
Wade, Ron's missing. Can you find him?

Wade:
Do you think I have him micro-chipped or something?

Kim:
[Beat] Well, do you?

Wade:
Yeah... hang on.

Kim:
Do you think you could go a little faster?

Dr. Possible:
Kim! It's a school zone!

Dr. Possible:
I think it's cute that Ron wants to be a cheerleader.

Kim:
Mother, boy bands are cute. Brown Bear backpacks are cute. Ron as a cheerleader - not cute.

Dr. Possible:
He'll wear a different outfit, won't he?

Kim:
Knowing Ron...

Bonnie:
Check your calendar! This is not "Befriend a Loser Week!"

Kim:
[over the radio] Ron? Ron, are you there?

Ron:
[faking static] Sorry - kkk! Can't - kkk! - hear - kkk! - you!

Kim:
Knock it off, Ron, I know you're doing that yourself.

Ron:
Kkk- what? I'm only - kkk! - hearing - kkk! - every - kkk! - other - kkk! word!

Kim:
Ron, don't be a - kkk - baby!

[Ron arrives after a long uphill bike ride]

Ron:
[panting] Kim... don't think I didn't... hear that... baby comment. I heard it.

Dr. Drakken:
Wait, you mean Kim Possible and Dr. Possible are related?

Ron:
Duh!

Dr. Drakken:
Don't "duh" me! Possible is a very common last name.

Ron:
So not.

Dr. Drakken:
So... so, yes it is!

Ron:
It's pretty unique.

Dr. Drakken:
ENOUGH! I shall prove it! Where's the phone book?

[later]

Dr. Drakken:
Okay, fine, so in Middleton there is only one Possible family.

[about Ron's "Mad Dog" mascot costume]

Kim:
Where did you get that mask?

Ron:
I made it, with my Movie Makeup Magic Kit!

[Rufus pops up, wearing a mask likeness of Kim]

Rufus:
What's the sitch?

[last lines]

Bonnie:
[while Ron does his 'Mad Dog' routine] You like him?

Kim:
Yeah. Kinda surprises me too sometimes.

Ron Stoppable:
You were like 'pow pow' and I was like 'zap zap' and now you're all 'boo hoo'!

Jack Hench:
Be the envy of other villains, and the bane of do-gooders, with... The Attitudinator! Warning, may cause swelling to the ego and itchy feet.

[after Drakken buys the machine]

Ron Stoppable:
Is that Drakken?

Dr. Drakken:
Ooh, feet itching, good sign...

Ron Stoppable:
Since when are itchy feet good?

Jack Hench:
Sorry, the next demo will be in a few minutes.

Ron Stoppable:
Stand back! I'm Zorpox the Conqueror!

Jack Hench:
Doesn't ring a bell.

Ron Stoppable:
You know, Zorpox! The...

Jack Hench:
I'm just not familiar with your work. Why don't you fill out this card, you could win a tank.

Kim Possible:
Wade, I need you to keep an eye on Ron. You've still got him chipped, right?

Wade Load:
Kim, we talked about the ethical ramifications of that.

Kim Possible:
Wade...

Wade Load:
Yeah, okay.

Kim Possible:
Please and thank you!

Ron Stoppable:
Kim Possible!

Kim Possible:
Since when do you use my last name?

Ron Stoppable:
Since I realized my full evil potential!

Dr. Drakken:
Shego! Do you know what this means?

Shego:
You're going to gorge yourself on corndogs and hork on Dementor again?

Dr. Drakken:
That was last year and those were funnel cakes!

[as Ron unleashes his plasma catapult at the wedding]

Bride at Wedding:
Isn't he supposed to be at the kids' table?

[after seeing an ad for "The Attitudinator"]

Dr. Drakken:
Shego, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Shego:
That you're paying retail this time?

Dr. Drakken:
[grumbles, then] Very well. Where's my checkbook?

[Ron opens a shark tank under Shego]

Ron Stoppable:
Sidekicks need to know their place... right?

Shego:
[nervously] Uh... uh... you got it! I-I'll just go check the security monitors. Hey, you know that evil laugh of yours? I-I love it! *Love* it!

Ron Stoppable:
Welcome, Kimberly Ann Possible!

Kim Possible:
The middle name is so overkill.

Ron Stoppable:
Overkill? Isn't that the idea? A-BOO-YAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Dr. Drakken:
I never joke about cocoa-moo.

Shego:
Cocoa-moo?

Dr. Drakken:
It's uses are limitless! Pudding, cookie dough, foot massages...

[about their costumes for infiltrating the Supervillain Trade Show]

Ron Stoppable:
You call this incognito?

Wade Load:
Zorpox The Conqueror! Issue 93 of the Villains' League of Evil Villains.

Kim Possible:
[dressed in a spotted cat-suit] And I am...

Wade Load:
Shee-La, of the Leopard People!

Kim Possible:
I was gonna say, "not feeling one hundred percent on the cat suit."

Wade Load:
I worked with what I had on hand.

Shego:
Kim Possible?

Ron Stoppable:
No! She's Shee-la! She's got spots, come on!

Shego:
Why are you dressed in that stupid costume?

Kim Possible:
[chuckles] You look in the mirror lately?

Ron Stoppable:
KP, I don't know if I can do this.

Kim Possible:
Just try chillin' like a villain.

Ron Stoppable:
No, I mean my whole "bad boy" thing! It's just not working.

Kim Possible:
[groans] Now, undercover as a supervillain, you realize this? Let's go. Walk the walk, Zorpox.

Lord Monkey Fist:
What kind of a hero brings a baby on a mission?

Ron Stoppable:
A baby AND a sack of flour!

Lord Monkey Fist:
[sarcastic] Ah, yes. That explains everything.

Wade Load:
You got a hit on the site from the Yamanuchi school in Japan.

Ron Stoppable:
Yamanuchi... Yori?

Wade Load:
Yeah. She said she needs Stoppable-san right away.

Ron Stoppable:
[seeing Kim's expression] Wade, you better fill in some blanks, pronto!

Wade Load:
To help her! Both of you! Including Kim! Who she asked about! Fondly!

Ron Stoppable:
[whistles] Nice save!

Ron:
[talking about Kim's crush on Josh Mankey] You ever notice "Mankey" is a mere vowel away from "monkey!" Just an observation!

Wade Load:
Oops!

Ron:
Wade, we're free-falling off a cliff! This is no time for "oops!"

Dr. Drakken:
These ninjas have been trained since birth in the art of inflicting humiliation.

Shego:
Embarrassment ninjas? Are you kidding?

Dr. Drakken:
I guess in their field it pays to specialize.

Shego:
[taking a magazine quiz] Your most embarrassing moment happened when...?

Dr. Drakken:
I don't have the faintest idea.

Shego:
Oh, puh-leaze. What about just last week, when Kim Possible gave you that flying kung-fu wedgie? [laughs] You were all like... [high-pitched] "Shego, help me, help me!" Or what about that time-?

Dr. Drakken:
SILENCE!

Dr. Possible:
Interesting. There's a high density molecular process involved in this bonding agent.

Dr. Possible:
It's a sticky situation!

Dr. Possible:
Ha! Good one!

Dr. Possible:
Thanks.

Kim Possible:
So not helping.

[at a rugby match]

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Feel good! Feels right, doesn't it?

Ron Stoppable:
I can taste my spleen...

[at the gymnasium pool]

Ron Stoppable:
[gasping] You could have planned this a little better!

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Don't be a water weenie, Stoppable! Only fifty more laps. Big breath, let's go

[finding Dementor's lair]

Bonnie Rockwaller:
A gift shop?

Kim Possible:
I remember when it used to be about the villainy.

Professor Dementor:
Too late! My men have already unleashed... ze dachsunds!

Bonnie Rockwaller:
We're supposed to be afraid of little wiener dogs?

Kim Possible:
Cocoa?

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Hmm, no. How about a latte, soy decaf?

Kim Possible:
You stole the kinetic modulator just to make cocoa?

Professor Dementor:
It is very good cocoa. But I also plan to bend the vorld to my vill!

Professor Dementor:
[explaining his evil plan] And there is nothing you can do to stop me, Kim Possible! NOTHING!

[he laughs, his face illuminated by a red light]

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Hold up, Mr. Bad Accent Guy. Why are you telling us all this? Why don't you just get on with it?

Kim Possible:
That's how these things go.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Well, it's dumb! And what's with the red light on his face?

[widen to show Dementor holding a tinted flashlight under his face]

Professor Dementor:
What? You don't like my dramatic villain light?

Kim Possible:
She's new to this.

Professor Dementor:
Why did you have to break down the door? It wasn't locked, and I just had it painted!

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Troops, attention!

[a quartet of Girl Scouts stands and salute]

Ron Stoppable:
[laughing] You're a Pixie den mother!

Mr. Steve Barkin:
[dead serious] *Brigadier* Pixie.

[Ron sobers, and salutes]

Professor Dementor:
When the machine is activated, you will both be vaporized! Poof!

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Why are you going to such elaborate measures? Isn't there an easier way to do this?

Kim Possible, Professor Dementor:
It's how it's done!

[Kim's parents suggest she get a part-time job]

Kim:
Between a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon, the best idea you can think of is minimum wage?

[Working at the Mexican restaurant]

Ron:
[Into PA] Fifty-eight, your order's great! Fifty-nine, you're lookin' fine! Sixty, um... your food's ready.

[Ron has poured nachos onto a tortilla]

Kim:
What are you doing?

Ron:
Taco meets nacho. I call it the "naco"!

Kim:
I call it "gross beyond reason."

Rufus:
Mmm! Naco!

[Drakken startles an arctic drill worker]

Drill Worker:
Mother of pearl, man! You scared me half to death!

Dr. Drakken:
Only half?

Dr. Possible:
Your predicament reminds me of the time I applied for funding of a new propulsion system. The university told me money doesn't grow on trees. Well I told them...

[Kim sighs]

Dr. Possible:
...money is made from paper and paper grows on trees. So, in point of fact, money does grow on trees.

Kim:
And this relates to me how?

Ron:
[Ron and Kim are eating al fresco at Bueno Nacho] What's wrong, KP? You won.

Kim:
I'm very happy... really.

Ron:
You don't sound happy.

Kim:
OK, I know this is beyond shallow, but I saved the world and I'm no closer to owning that Club Banana jacket.

Ron:
Maybe... Maybe not... [presents Kim with Club Banana box]

Kim:
[gasp adoringly] Ron!

Ron:
Oh, it's no big deal. My Naco bonus was muy bueno.

Kim:
[opens box to discover green jacket that she'd been saving for] You are too sweet! I love it! Thanks. [Ned, her former Bueno Nacho boss, walks up wearing identical jacket]

Kim:
Ned?

Ron:
Dude, what are you wearing?

Ned:
Somebody left this picture over the cheese machine, and I just had to have it! Viva me! [Ned exits]

Ron:
Exchange it.

Kim:
Oh, yeah.

[Kim and Ron are bolted to a machine]

Ron Stoppable:
Guess that wasn't much of a plan.

Kim:
Not as great as your Bueno Nacho Bathroom Break chart.

Ron Stoppable:
I gooned on Assistant Manager power. You were right.

Kim:
I did resent your superior burrito technique. You're entitled to excell. Forgive me?

Ron Stoppable:
Duh. Forgive me?

Kim:
Totally.

Dr. Drakken:
Aw, that's so sweet. Friends again. Just in time to be fried in magma.

Ron Stoppable:
Remind me again why I rushed over?

Kim:
Mom, reassure me. I just had a fight with Ron. He was all high-horse 'cause I bailed on work, and I really need to stop Drakken, but Ron thinks I quit because I can't take him being good at something, which would be way pathetic.

Dr. Ann Possible:
I need a suture here.

Kim:
Mom? Do you have me on speaker?

Dr. Ann Possible:
Sorry, honey, I've got both hands in a sixty-two-year-old male's temporal lobe.

Kim:
Mom!

Dr. Ann Possible:
Gotta go, honey. See you at dinner. Dad's picking up nachos!

[after Barkin announces the Senior Trip's change of location]

Steve Barkin:
Not that ride, Stoppable.

Ron Stoppable:
Then... how are we getting there?

Steve Barkin:
MOVE-THAT-BUS!

[the bus pulls away, revealing a horse-drawn wagon behind it]

Jim and Tim Possible:
[Repeated Line if someone is blatantly obvious] Hicka-bicka-Duhh?

[Fuming, Kim signs her brothers' contract]

Jim and Tim Possible:
Woo-hoo, oh, yeah! Hoo-sha!

Kim Possible:
Hey, no gloating!

Jim and Tim Possible:
[points to the contract] Page 6, subparagraph 3: "Gloating is to be allowed."

Ron Stoppable:
Whoat, they got you with a "niener" clause! Oh yeah, they're good.

Jim and Tim Possible:
[reading contract] "Kimberly Ann Possible, who shall be known as the Car Monkey..."

Kim Possible:
[after her latest brush with Motor Ed] No mocking the hair.

Ron Stoppable:
[chuckles nervously] Are you kidding me? You know, I know the basic boyfriend rules, Kim. Your new haircut is fabulous! And those slacks are very flattering!

Kim Possible:
Thanks for the sensitivity.

Jim and Tim Possible:
Sorry, but we're contractually obligated to mock.

Kim Possible:
Okay, just get it over with.

[pause]

Jim and Tim Possible:
It's no fun if you help.

Shego:
[examining the rocket blueprints] Huh, the Kepler specs are pretty impressive. Of course, it's all how you use it.

Motor Ed:
It's so gonna rock, seriously!

Shego:
I think maybe I can get on board with this... [sees the rocket] It looks like a race car! You tricked it out?

Motor Ed:
You say "tricked out" like it's a bad thing.

[Motor Ed breaks into the prison]

Motor Ed:
Yo, cuz, it's me, Eddie.

Dr. Drakken:
Ah-ha! I knew I could count on family. Freedom is at hand! No more lockdown, no more prison food, and no more yakkety-blab from you, Lucre!

[Ed goes past with Shego in tow]

Motor Ed:
Later, Drew, seriously!

Dr. Drakken:
What?

Shego:
Later, losers!

Frugal Lucre:
Listen, if it's any consolation on the whole counting-on-family-front, I'm still waiting for my mother to post my bail.

Ron:
I'd just like to point out that was two fences I jumped over and I didn't rip my pants!

Kim:
Let no one doubt your mad fence-jumping skills. Now come on!

[a loud rip is heard]

Ron:
Oh!

Shego:
Y'know, for someone who's supposedly a mad genius, I'm not seeing much of the "genius".

Dr. Drakken:
Keep it up Shego, and you'll see plenty of the "mad".

Shego:
[sarcastically] Ooh, scary man.

Ron:
Well, I hate to approve of dishonesty - you know - except for when it works and no one notices.

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, this is bad.

Kim Possible:
Not entirely, I think Camile will be much easier to track down now.

Ron Stoppable:
How so? [Camile screams]

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, ten miles away.

Kim Possible:
Twelve tops!

Ron Stoppable:
Were comin' Rufus!

Dr. Drakken:
Kim Possible? And where is that boy who's always losing his pants?

Ron Stoppable:
I'm not ALWAYS losing my pants! Eh, it's just a little grapple trouble.

Kim Possible:
Kim? Kim who?

Ron Stoppable:
Possible.

Kim Possible:
What is?

Ron Stoppable:
You are!

Kim Possible:
I'm what?

Ron Stoppable:
Kim Possible!

Kim Possible:
That so doesn't sound like a name.

Ron Stoppable:
Not to worry! I'll have KP back in time for dinner. After school, I'll give her a refresher around Middleton. It'll be like a second first date!

Kim Possible:
Are you hitting on me?

Ron Stoppable:
Um... Kim? We ARE dating. I'm your boyfriend.

Kim Possible:
Boyfriend?! [snickers] Oh, wait. You're serious?

Ron Stoppable:
Oh ho. That wasn't painful at all.

Ron Stoppable:
Wait, Shego! You tell her! Kim and I are dating, right?

Shego:
What? For real? Oh come on. That never made any sense to me, I mean...

Ron Stoppable:
See?! That wasn't a "no!"

[first lines]

Dr. Drakken:
Shego, at last, pure nanotronium is mine! The smallest, most powerful energy source known to...

Shego:
Are you for real? I was *with* you! I know what it is, Doctor Exposition!

Dr. Drakken:
Fine! I was just enjoying the moment.

Dr. Drakken:
You're too late! [pauses, then reads from cards] "Soon, world domination will be in my grasp, once I use the MRM to help me remember my plan."

Ron Stoppable:
Uh, why's he reading off a card?

Shego:
Yeah, note guy, cheat sheet thing.

Ron Stoppable:
Why wasn't *I* told that was acceptable?

Shego:
What, you need a reminder to lose your pants?

Kim Possible:
Whatever you've stolen, give it back.

Shego:
We haven't stolen a darn thing.

Dr. Drakken:
[appears] I've stolen the darn thing, Shego! Let's go!

Ron Stoppable:
You'll never get away with this, Drakken!

Dr. Drakken:
[panicking] What? Why? What do you know?

Ron Stoppable:
Uh... oh, nothing. It just seemed like the thing to say.

[Kim's too tough as her brothers' soccer coach]

Ron:
It's just a game. With small children. Who cry when they see you coming!

Ron Stoppable:
The team wanted me to talk to you about your coaching technique.

Kim:
What about my coaching technique?

Ron Stoppable:
Too much technique, not enough coach.

Kim:
What's that supposed to mean?

Ron Stoppable:
They just wanna have fun, Kim.

Kim:
Winning is fun, Ron.

Ron Stoppable:
See, that's your Kimness talking!

Kim:
Well, I am Kim.

Ron Stoppable:
It's just a game... with small children... who cry when they see you coming.

Kim:
You know a lot about soccer?

Ron:
Oh, yes. I will tell you everything I know. Soccer is the world's most popular sport. You can't touch the ball with your hands...

Kim:
Unless you're the goalie.

Ron:
Really? Well, that's it, then! The student has surpassed the teacher.

Ron:
Kim, the team wanted me to talk to you about your coaching technique.

Kim:
What about my coaching technique?

Ron:
There's too much technique and not enough coaching!

Kim:
Wade, do you think it's wrong to pitch in and help your team?

Wade:
Like fund raising?

Ron:
Like playing forward.

Wade:
Oh. In that case, I'd have to say yes.

Senor Senior Sr.:
Junior, this is not a party. This is not a disco. This is not fooling around.

Senor Senior Junior:
Love the nightlife? Love to boogie? Then come to club lair, conveniently located in Europe. Drive a little, party a lot!

Senor Senior Junior:
I'm sorry, but this is a rather exclusive club, and you're not on the guest list.

Senor Senior, Sr.:
Ah, the clever threat. Now, follow it up with a violent show of anger.

Senor Senior Junior:
But I'm mildly put off at best.

Dr. Drakken:
So, Kim Possible, you think to thwart my plan...

Shego:
*Don't* stop to tell her the plan!

Dr. Drakken:
I'll handle this, Shego!

Shego:
Yeah, all I know is, every time you stop to blab about your big plan, she wins!

Dr. Drakken:
Oh, right.

Ron:
Never be normal! That's the Ron Stoppable motto.

Dr. Drakken:
Why did she have to be a cheerleader? If she were on the debate team I'd have vaporized her by now!

[Re:
the school dance]

Ron:
Well, we always go together.

Kim:
Yeah but, that's as friends. This time I was thinking of lining up... you know.

Ron:
An enemy?

Kim:
A date!

Ron:
Hey, I helped with that avalanche too you know.

Kim:
Ron, you STARTED that avalanche.

Ron:
Don't freak out, Kim!

Kim:
I'm not.

Ron:
Well that makes one of us!

[Ron is trying to get a date for the school dance]

Ron:
This arm is going to the dance on Friday.

[Holds up arm]

Ron:
Who wants to be on it?

[the girls flee, he switches arms]

Ron:
How about this arm?

Ron:
I'M A BON-DIGGITY DANCER!

Ron:
So, Heinrich, got any teenage daughters who might want to go to a big American dance party?

Heinrich:
[angrily] Nein!

Ron:
Nine! One's plenty... or maybe two.

Heinrich:
"Nein" means "no"!

[Ron mugs for the security cameras to provide a distraction]

Ron:
Wazzup! Naked Mole Rat TV is on the air!

Dr. Drakken:
That voice...

Shego:
It's Kim Possible's dopey sidekick.

Dr. Drakken:
I can never remember his name.

Ron:
It's Ron Stoppable, coming to you totally live, broadcasting from... wouldn't you like to know!

[Drakken follows the cable leading behind some crates, and motions to his henchmen]

Ron:
Yes, evildoers it's the Rufus and Ron Show!

[a forklift bursts through the crates and pins Ron to the wall]

Dr. Drakken:
You're canceled! Ha-ha-ha!

Dr. Drakken:
Come on, put some greasy elbow into it!

[Kim throws Ron a small jar]

Ron:
Badical! Back off, goons, 'cause I'm packin'!

Goon:
[looks] Lip gloss?

Ron:
[looks] Uh... yes. Lip gloss.

[the goons roar with laughter]

Kim:
Ron, open it and hold your breath!

[Ron does so, releasing knockout gas from the jar that flattens all the goons]

Ron:
Subject: Joshua Wendell Mankey.

Kim:
I meant about Drakken's plot!

Ron:
Oh yeah, I've got nothing.

Kim:
Wait, his middle name is Wendell?

Ron:
Well, it could be.

Kim:
You've obviously done your research.

Ron:
I assure you, the rest of my report is completely factual.

Kim:
Gossip you've heard around school?

Ron:
Moving on. Mankey has rejected invitations to the Spirit Week Dance from the following: [Rufus holds up a series of photos] Courtney Loop, Maria Rodriguez, Natasha Putin, Julia Roberts - no relation - and, of course, Bonnie Rockwaller. [Bonnie's portrait is a crudely drawn sketch] No current photo was available.

Kim:
Thanks for the lift, Heinrich.

Heinrich:
Kim, you silly. It's the least I could do after you saved our village from that avalanche last year.

Kim:
No big.

Ron:
So, Heinrich, got any teenage daughters who might want to go to a big American dance party?

Heinrich:
Nein!

Ron:
Nine? One's plenty! Well, maybe two.

Heinrich:
Nein means no! [Heinrich slams the door shut and drives off]

Ron:
Hey, wait a minute. I helped with that avalanche!

Kim:
You started it.

Kim:
What's Drakken doing in a video game factory?

Ron:
Duh. Do you know what this factory makes?

Kim:
Video games?

Ron:
The Z Boy. Only the fastest graphics system ever.

Kim:
[scoffs] So, video games.

Ron:
It's not even coming out back home until Christmas. It's the must have gift of the holiday season.

[He gasps]

Ron:
Drakken's gonna steal Christmas!

Kim:
Ron, I know my arch foe. Drakken wants to take over the world.

Ron:
He wants to steal Christmas!

Kim:
Take over the world.

Ron:
Steal Christmas!

Kim:
Take over the world.

Ron:
Steal Christmas!

Kim:
[she whispers] Take over the world.

Ron:
[happily] Steal Christmas.

Kim:
Shh! Fine, whatever.

Kim:
I'll free the hostages, you take this. Jack it into the video.

Ron:
You mean, I'm...

Kim:
The distraction.

Ron:
[dejected] Oh! Always the distraction.

Ron:
[panicking, as usual] Aaahhh! An army of evil zombie snowmen!

[more calmly]

Ron:
Man, I always knew that's what would get me.

Kids' show creature:
You're a meanie!

Dr. Drakken:
Am I? Well, get used to it.

Kids' show creature:
And you know who visits meanies... Mr. Sitdown!

Dr. Drakken:
Mr. Whodown?

[Mr. Sitdown walks up and prepares to sit on Drakken]

Dr. Drakken:
Oh, snap.

Dr. Drakken:
You know, a little sidekick enthusiasm would be appreciated!

Shego:
[sarcastically] Woohoo. Extra hoo. Happy?

Shego:
[surrounded by singing puppets] This is *so* worse than moopy.

Kids' show creature:
Today's color is green! Do you see anything green?

Shego:
[threatening] Yeah, I got your green, felt-face!

Dr. Drakken:
Shego, you're going to anger Mr. Sitdown!

Shego:
What?

[Mr. Sitdown sits on them]

Shego:
Oh.

Ron:
What you got there, Dr. P?

Dr. Possible:
My home-made snowboard. I'm ready for shreddy!

Ron:
Excuse me?

Kim:
Dad's trying to act cool? I'm doomed!

Kim:
It's been so long since I've skied without some crazed henchman after me.

Kim:
Just once, I wish the villain's lair didn't have to blow up.

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Lady, you are...

'DNAmy' Hall:
Special?

Mr. Steve Barkin:
You are sick... AND WRONG!

Dr. Possible:
Hang on, this could get gnarly!

Kim:
Bonnie knows about Pandaroo. Hope is lost.

Ron Stoppable:
Just go with me on this, Monique. Kim has it bad for Ron!

Monique:
And that's not good?

Ron Stoppable:
I don't know. I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about this. I mean, who hasn't?

[talking about Kim's date with Ron]

Dr. Possible:
Oh, we're just tickled pink about you and Kimmy.

Ron:
We are?

Dr. Possible:
But not too pink. Time to have a fam-to-Ron talk.

Ron:
It is?

Dr. Possible:
We want Kim to be happy.

Ron:
We do?

Dr. Possible:
If not, it's a one-way ticket on a deep space probe.

Ron:
H-how deep?

Dr. Possible:
[very stern] Black hole deep, Ronald.

Kim:
[under "Moodulator" mind control] Now, about that favour...

Ron:
Actually, KP, I...

Kim:
[pouting] Tonight's the night of the big Middleton Days festival, and I don't have a date.

Ron:
Wait, wait, wait! You want to go to the festival as my *date*?

Kim:
[overjoyed] Oh, I thought you'd never ask!

[she kisses Ron deeply; Wade appears on her computer]

Wade:
Hey, guys, I...

[spits out his drink and falls off his chair]

Wade:
Ah! Um... bad time to call?

Kim:
[giggles] Guess what the sitch is, Wade?

Wade:
Um... I just wanted to tell you, I got a link to the Kimmunicator, and... were you guys just smackin' lips?

Kim:
[gazing into Ron's eyes] Great, Wade!

Ron:
[dreamily] Whatever you say...

Kim:
I'm going to get ready for tonight. Rrrrr!

[she leaves]

Wade:
Whoa! What's going on?

[Ron shuts the locker door on him]

Wade:
This isn't normal! Hello?

Ron Stoppable:
[lying on a couch] Okay, so Kim and I have been best buds forever. Maybe dating is the next step... [standing near a window] [standing near a window] I mean what's not to like about Kim? She's smart, cute, and... [lying on the floor] Dating could be good, you know, uh, the date thing... [sitting behind a plant] What if it tanks?

[He simulates playing a video game, then crashing and going down in flames; he guzzles soda, and strums a rubber band between his teeth. Finally, he's standing on his head in lotus position]

Ron Stoppable:
This could totally wreck our friendship! No. No. I'm not gonna let that happen. Only one thing to do: break up with Kim.

[He starts to leave and turns to his "counselor."]

Ron Stoppable:
Thanks man, you've been a big help.

Mr. Steve Barkin:
[from his chair] Stoppable, how did you get in my house?

[Ron ducks inside a parade float to hide from an emotionally unstable Kim only to find Drakken hiding from an emotionally unstable Shego]

Dr. Drakken:
Find your own hiding place.

Ron Stoppable:
Oh right, like you called dibs.

Dr. Drakken:
Oh, well I am now. Dibs! HA!

Ron Stoppable:
Well I'm calling double dibs!

Dr. Drakken:
[grumbles] You've won this round with your superior dib calling... but that won't save us from them!

[Both look up to see Kim tearing the float open]

Dr. Drakken, Ron Stoppable:
AAH!

Ron Stoppable:
[whining] Kim, he's trying to get away and he's kicking me!

Kim:
And you're surprised?

Kim:
[a la Ricky Ricardo] Ron, you've got some 'splainin' to do!

[Ron is ambushed by monkey ninjas]

Ron:
Aw, Fuji. Why is it ALWAYS monkeys? Why can't I ever be attacked by crazed super models?

Ron:
Call it? But, I mean, how... Magic sword...? Here boy.

[Magic sword flies through air, tears off Ron's clothes, and smashes building]

Ron:
Uh, my bad, I can pay for that, really, you should go ahead and put that on my tab.

[Ron's about to quit ninja school]

Sensei:
I am saddened to say that Yori is missing.

Ron:
Missing? Missing, how?

Sensei:
Since you refused the task of recovering the Lotus Blade, she seized the honor. Her footprints. The ground here tells the story... a great struggle. Many warriors.

Ron:
And one Yori.

Sensei:
The hour grows late, Stoppable-san. You have a plane to catch.

Ron:
I'm gonna miss that plane.

[Ron's failing ninja training]

Yori:
You must not give up. Even a mighty river was once a stream.

Ron:
But I'm a trickle.

Yori:
I believe in you, Stoppable-san.

[kisses Ron on the cheek]

Yori:
Good night.

Ron:
[sighs] Call me Ron-san.

Ron:
Ron-san is gonna sleep like a baby tonight!

Rufus:
Huh?

Ron:
No, I don't mean waking up every two hours crying for my mama.

[Upon learning of Ron's selection as a foreign exchange student]

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Let me get this straight, we get motorcycle hotness and they get Stoppable? Any way we can make this trade permanent?

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Now keep in mind, Stoppable, for the next seven days, you are a cultural ambassador. You represent this school, this city, and this nation.

Ron:
Don't worry, Mr. B., I am a master at the delicate art of diplomacy.

[eats a row of potato chips]

Ron:
But if they push any raw fish on me, I swear I'll chuck!

[Ron and Mr. Barkin have been sealed into a crate]

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Now quit your yapping, I have to formulate a plan!

Ron Stoppable:
Already got one. [pounds on the side of the crate] HELP! SOMEBODY HELP!

Mr. Steve Barkin:
That's not a plan.

Ron Stoppable:
Not the boss of me. [keeps pounding] HELP!

[Late at night, Monique taps into Kim's computer to reach Wade, and sees him dressed in pajamas and playing with action figures]

Wade Load:
"I can't let you launch, Dr. Fusion! World security is at hand!" "Just try and stop me, Dino-Man, ha-ha-ha...!"

[Monique giggles]

Wade Load:
Monique! [throws the figurines away]

Monique:
So many levels of wrong. And aren't action figures a little low-tech for you?

Wade Load:
Their holograms aren't complete yet. You won't tell anyone, right?

Monique:
You get me to Milan, and I'll keep Dino-Man and Purple Pigs on the D.O.

Hego:
[Repeated Line] Go-operation

Kim Possible:
Everybody, listen up! Here's what we should do.

Mego:
So it wasn't just Hego's strength, she also got his super-bossiness.

Shego:
There is no way I can do this! Five minutes with my brothers and I'm ready to claw my own eyes out!

Kim Possible:
Shego! I have brothers too. I know how annoying they can be, but you can't walk out.

Shego:
Why not?

Kim Possible:
Because if you don't help, I'll tell the world you used to be a good guy.

Shego:
You wouldn't!

Kim Possible:
I've got a website and I'm not afraid to use it!

Shego:
What are we doing here?

Kim Possible:
We needed to meet some place Aviarius doesn't know about to make our plan.

Hego:
Well, the Go Tower is the ultimate fortress of goodness.

Kim Possible:
Don't think so. You've got a giant viewscreen that your arch-foe can appear on whenever he wants. He talks to you, you talk to him. You don't think...

Hego:
That he could use that technology to spy on us while we were planning our heroic efforts. Blast! The fiend! How come no one ever mentioned this before?

Shego:
[weary] Because it was obvious?

Wade Load:
Kim, is Shego in your kitchen?

Shego:
Just do your computer thing, nerdlinger.

Ron Stoppable:
Has she always been this cranky?

Hego, Mego:
Oh yeah.

Wade:
Does the name Yamanuchi mean anything to you?

Kim Possible:
That school in Japan that Ron went to last year?

Wade:
Turns out it's a super secret school.

Kim Possible:
I *knew* he crushed on someone while he was there!

Wade:
That wasn't what I...

Kim Possible:
What? You think I'm jelling! I am *not* jelling! Why would I jell!

Wade:
Riiiight... Anyway...

Kim Possible:
Weird.

Monique:
Secret girlfriend weird?

Kim Possible:
No, he'd tell me. I mean, why wouldn't he?

Monique:
'Cause you'd go all jell.

Kim Possible:
Jell?

Monique:
Green-eyed.

Kim Possible:
So? I've always had green eyes.

Monique:
"Jell"-ous. You'e jelling!

Kim Possible:
I am not jelling!

Monique:
Uh-huh.

Kim Possible:
It's just my weird-ar's going off, that's all.

Monique:
And you're jelling.

Kim Possible:
So not!

Kim Possible:
But it's cardboard caff pizza.

Ron Stoppable:
Cheese on cardboard is still cheese.

Monique:
Got you there.

Ron:
Why couldn't she just tell me she likes me? She was being all ninja about it.

Kim:
Well, you've got me...

Kim:
[about Ron] Is this Yori girl dragging him around the world or something?

Wade:
Hmmm, sounds familiar.

Ron Stoppable:
Check me, KP, I'm an arch foe.

[on a "gravy ghost" haunting the school cafeteria]

Wade:
I don't know what to tell you Kim. After watching the cafeteria security tape, I can't explain what happened either.

Kim Possible:
Did you analyze the gravy sample?

Wade:
Yup.

Monique:
And?

Wade:
You don't want to know.

[pauses]

Wade:
Not till graduation.

[pauses]

Wade:
From college.

Monique:
I say we trust him on the gravy.

Yori:
According to the map, we should be very near.

Ron Stoppable:
[carrying all their bags] Oh, good. Then it will be my honor to collapse from exhaustion.

[after Ron loses his pants avoiding flying monkey teeth]

Yori:
[laughing] Oh, Stoppable-san! You make danger comical with your American-style buffoonery.

Ron Stoppable:
Whoa! Are you freaking over my friend Yori?

Kim Possible:
I am *not* freaking! I am *not* jelling!

Ron Stoppable, Yori:
"Jelling"?

Ron Stoppable:
What's jelling?

Kim Possible:
Never mind jelling!

Yori:
Everything is ready, Stoppable-san.

Ron Stoppable:
Yori! [nervously] Ha-ha! Um, Yori, this is Kim and Monique.

Yori:
Ah! Kim Possible! [bows] I have heard much.

Kim Possible:
[glaring at Ron] Really? I haven't.

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, sure, KP! You know, Yori, from seventh period History? [pause] No, no she's an old pal from Camp Wannaweep... [pause] We never met, actually. What do you want? Who are you, stranger-I-do-not-know?

Kim Possible:
But you just said her name is Yori.

Ron Stoppable:
Yori, well... it's a common name, ya know... in Japan. Well, I-I-I-I gotta go, bye! [pulls Yori off with him]

Wade:
And here's the kick: the sword uses Mystical Monkey Power!

Kim Possible:
Ron has Mystical Monkey Power. You don't suppose...

Wade:
Monkey Fist has tried to take the power from him before.

Kim Possible:
So you think Yori's working for Monkey Fist?

Wade:
Did I say that?

Kim Possible:
No, I did. It's a theory.

Wade:
It's... kind of jumping to a conclusion.

Kim Possible:
[testily] Well, that's what theories are, right?

Wade:
Man, you *are* jelling.

Kim Possible:
Ugh... now that's conclusion-jumping.

Wade:
I did some checking like you asked about Ron's *girlfriend*.

Kim Possible:
[unamused] Friend.

Wade:
Who's a girl.

Kim Possible:
Wade!

Wade:
Okay, okay, friend!

[Warmonga has revealed that revenge was her motivation to conquer Earth]

Kim Possible:
So, payback's the sitch.

Dr. Drakken:
Oh. Flower, take out that canon. [Drakken's plant tendril wraps itself around a laser weapon and destroys it]

Kim Possible:
[stunned] That is one tough mutant flower.

Dr. Drakken:
Hahaha. I should have gone green years ago.

Kim Possible:
[after being confined in the spacecraft prison] Ok, good.

Dr. Drakken:
What aspect of held prisoner aboard an alien spacecraft is good?

Kim Possible:
Good is that they are not paying attention to us. They think we are trapped here.

Dr. Drakken:
Aren't we?

Kim Possible:
Not for long.

Dr. Drakken:
[annoyed] Urmm. I find your youthful optimism irritating.

Kim Possible:
Would you just... [a plant tendril creeps out of Drakken's collar] What is that?

Dr. Drakken:
What is what?

Kim Possible:
On your neck?

Dr. Drakken:
On my neck? Is it a bug? Get it off, get it off. [Sees the plant tendril] Oh, this again. [petals poof up around his neck] This is not helping. [yells at the flower] Beat it.

Kim Possible:
Spanking!

Dr. Drakken:
[annoyed] Arrggh! Tween slang!

Kim Possible:
Drakken!

Dr. Drakken:
What?

Kim Possible:
Your flower.

Dr. Drakken:
Just because it grew on me doesn't make it my flower. It's not like I can just say, 'Flower, attack Kim Possible and... [the plant tendril wraps itself around Kim and hoists her up in the air] Oh.

Dr. Drakken:
[the laser gun shoots at Kim and it seems she is destroyed] You were a worthy foe. You were indeed all that. Farewell Kim Possible.

Kim Possible:
[standing up behind Drakken] Hello Drakken.

Shego:
C'mon Dr. D.

Dr. Drakken:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Shego:
[annoyed] Is the screaming part of your plan?

Dr. Drakken:
[after Ron has defeated the aliens] What happened?

Shego:
I think the sidekick just stepped up... monkey-style!

Dr. Drakken:
Monkey-style? What does that mean?

Shego:
You had to be there.

[in the alien ship's engine room; all yelling]

Kim Possible:
Congratulations, you found the loudest room in the ship!

Shego:
Try the central power core! Do some damage here, you'll get results!

Ron Stoppable:
If I were an off switch, where would I be?

Dr. Drakken:
No, this is highly advanced alien technology! It's not going to be as simple as finding an off...

[the room shuts down]

Dr. Drakken:
...switch.

[Rufus, next to the switch, chuckles. On the bridge, the ship shuts down]

Warmonga:
What madness is this?

Warhawk:
They found the off-switch!

Warmonga:
Ah, long have I questioned the wisdom of that accursed switch!

Warhawk:
[to Shego] You!

Shego:
And you must be Mr. Warmonga.

Warmonga:
She is the blue imposter's battle-mate.

Shego:
Whoa, time out! Yeah, the two teens are a "thing," but there is nothing going on between me and Dr. D.!

Kim Possible:
[slyly] Nothing?

Shego:
*Nothing*!

Warmonga:
Then why were you so threatened by my arrival?

Shego:
I don't know, maybe because you're nine feet tall?

Warhawk:
Denial. It's more than just a river... on the planet which we now control.

Dr. Drakken:
I can see all the parts coming together of my greatest scheme ever!

Ron Stoppable:
What, to save the world?

Dr. Drakken:
DO NOT make me say those words!

[last lines of the series]

Professor Dementor:
You must admit that it is exquisitely amusing.

Dr. Drakken:
Okay, Dementor, I'd really rather not talk about it.

Professor Dementor:
But the *irony*! As a mad scientist, you have been a total failure your entire career!

Dr. Drakken:
[irritated] New topic, please!

Professor Dementor:
Okay, okay. Why the blue skin?

Dr. Drakken:
Glad you asked! Funny story. Not funny ha-ha, but it was a Tuesday...

Kim Possible:
Are you going to live in fear because of some rules that only exist in your head?

Ron Stoppable:
Uh, yeah.

Ron Stoppable:
What kind of chance do I have with a girl like that, anyway?

Kim Possible:
[aside] Honest opinion or best-friend-fudge?

Monique:
Fudge it, girl.

Bonnie:
[pushes her way through the talent show line] Step aside, people. This is all just a formality. My older sibs have won the this contest the last four years straight. I am not about to break the Rockwaller family tradition.

Kim Possible:
Oh, please, Bonnie. I just ate

Bonnie:
Just trying to save my fellow students from utter humiliation.

Kim Possible:
And your talent is what? Singing... your own praises? Acting... obnoxious?

Dr. Drakken:
[describing his latest plot device for Kim] First, you will be sealed in a reinforced titanium box. Next, you will be dropped into this bottomless chasm. Then, the chasm will be filled with water. Then, man-eating sharks and a giant squid will then be released into the water...!

Shego:
Huh... whoa, wait. If the chasm is "bottomless," how can you fill it with water?

[pause]

Dr. Drakken:
[shouts] It's very, very deep, all right? [resumes] Lastly, I shall freeze over the top of the water with a six-foot layer of solid glacial ice! [deep breath] Any questions?

Shego:
Not if you're gonna get all snippy.

Mr. Steve Barkin:
And the winner of the Middleton High Talent Show is... Ron Stoppable!

Bonnie:
*What*?

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Proving that quantity is in fact better than quality.

[after chaining Kim, sealing her in a box, sinking the box into a lake of water filled with sharks and a giant squid, and freezing over the top of the water]

Dr. Drakken:
Now *that* really ought to do it.

Kim Possible:
[to Drakken, after escaping his elaborate death trap] Which part of "she can do anything" do you not comprehend?

Kim Possible:
Ron, I cannot believe you signed me up for the Talent Show without even asking me! Do you not comprehend how critically wrong that is?

Ron Stoppable:
Let's stick to the facts. Fact one: you *are* signed up. Fact two: you won't give Bonnie the satisfaction of backing out now.

Kim Possible:
Fact three: I know sixteen styles of kung-fu!

Ron Stoppable:
You really need to take this unproductive anger you're feeling towards me, and channel it into your act. Don't you think?

Kim Possible:
You are so flawed.

Ron Stoppable:
This is bad, Kim! You're gonna risk our reputation in front of the entire school and you can't even hit the high notes?

Kim Possible:
Fact one: it's *my* reputation on the line here! Fact two: *you* are the one who got me into this! And fact three: I can and *will* hit the high notes! I can do anything!

Kim Possible:
Is it really necessary to spy on Bonnie's rehearsal like this?

Ron Stoppable:
We have to gather some intel on your competition.

Kim Possible:
I just can't see Bonnie doing twelve hard years of ballet lessons.

Ron Stoppable:
Hour after hour, staring at herself in a giant mirror? Yeah, believe it.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Does the Wanna-Be wanna say something?

Kim Possible:
Want to. Won't. Might not be able to stop at words!

Kim Possible:
[seeing Bonnie kissing Ron] WHAT-IS-THE-SITCH?

Ron Stoppable:
Hey, I was the kissee here, not the kisser!

Kim Possible:
No kidding! It took you twelve stinking years to kiss me!

Bonnie Rockwaller:
[crying and wailing]

Ron Stoppable:
Uh, I don't speak hysteric.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
[continues crying and wailing]

Kim Possible:
Brick broke up with you?

Ron Stoppable:
How do you know what she said?

Kim Possible:
It's a girl thing.

Kim Possible:
How are you at gate jumping?

Wade Load:
Terrible, but I don't usually find it necessary. [opens the gate with a remote] After you.

Kim Possible:
[pouting] But I LIKE jumping over stuff.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
I just want a regular, normal, shallow hottie, preferably not too bright.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
I don't do pathetic!

Ron Stoppable:
[under his breath] Well, you could've fooled me.

Ron Stoppable:
Uh, Bonnie? This is the part of sneaking in that we like to call "Quiet Time!"

[during halftime]

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Kim, will you be able to show your face after losing Homecoming Queen to me, or will you be way humiliated?

Kim Possible:
I'll take my chances.

Monique:
Back off, Bonnie! In case you didn't notice, now *Kim* is the one dating the star of the football team.

Kim Possible:
That's not important to me, Monique... although Ron has broken more school records than Brick ever did.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
[sulking] Brick... if he had just flunked senior year one more time, he'd be here to rule at my side, instead of off at college.

[last lines]

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Don't go anywhere, Stoppable! That dweeb from the yearbook committee insists we pose for a royal portrait. I cannot believe there's going to be a picture of me with you in the *yearbook*! That's, like, photographic evidence that we associated.

Ron Stoppable:
You know, some of us learn and grow from our little adventures!

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Whatever, loser.

Ron Stoppable:
Remember... it's not stealing. It's "secret borrowing."

Kim Possible:
[about her battlesuit] Sorry, Professor, I'm not wearing it.

Professor Dementor:
Do you think that I am fooled by your mouthful of lies? "No" is the correct answer!

Kim Possible:
[indicates her cheerleading outfit] Hello? Does it *look* like I'm wearing full-body armor?

Professor Dementor:
[confused] Well... well, no, now that you mention it. And yet my instruments very clearly say the suit is here. With that, what is up?

[after Ron scores a winning touchdown without Kim's battlesuit]

Kim Possible:
You do me proud, Ron Stoppable, by just being you.

Ron Stoppable:
Yeah. Who knew my mad running-away skills would have real world applications?

Ron Stoppable:
Dude, you're totally wearing a dress.

Professor Dementor:
It's a house coat!

[Kim is mad that Ron had stolen her battlesuit to secure a position on the football team]

Kim Possible:
You cheated your way onto the football team!

Ron Stoppable:
Yeah, but that was just a perk. I was really trying to cheat on you... [pause] For you! To win you! [pause] Wait, wait! It's not what you think!

Kim Possible:
Oh, so you're not a cheater, a liar, and a thief?

Ron Stoppable:
[pause] OK, it is what you think.

Professor Dementor:
I am impressed, Fraulein Possible. How did you know I would be here?

Kim Possible:
Uh, your "To Do" list helped.

Professor Dementor:
D'oh! I dropped that when I stole the ultrasonic drill, yes?

Kim Possible:
Yeah, mmm-hmm, you did. And thanks for making our job that much easier.

Ron Stoppable:
[reading] "Steal ultrasonic drill, break into top secret lab, call Mother, conquer world..."

Professor Dementor:
Ah, I knew I was forgetting something! Mama gets so cross when I don't jingle.

Kim Possible:
I have been foiled by a man in a dress.

Professor Dementor:
IT'S A HOUSE COAT!

[as Rufus takes remote control of the battlesuit while Dementor is wearing it]

Ron Stoppable:
Hey, stop hitting yourself.

Professor Dementor:
I cannot!

[about Professor Dementor masquerading as a little old lady]

Kim Possible:
Cute little trap, Professor.

Professor Dementor:
Why, thank you, yes, I rather like it. It's the details that really sell it, don't you think? [shouting] I picked out the curtains myself!

Bonnie Rockwaller:
But you're a cheerleader! A senior cheerleader! You know what that means?

Ron Stoppable:
New uniforms?

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Well, yes, and they're so cute! But it also means you must date a jock. It's like a rule.

Kim Possible:
Ron's the exception to the rule.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
He's the *reason* for the rule!

Kim Possible:
Not everyone has to date the quarterback, B.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Not everyone can, K.

[She tosses her hair and leaves]

Monique:
Aw, that girl's sweet as ever.

[Rufus sticks a finger in his throat and gags, then blows a raspberry]

Bonnie:
Kim Possible, you are such a loser! I mean, you wear that same, stupid outfit like, every day!

Kim:
Ron! This is serious!

Ron Stoppable:
Hello? Note: Serious face"

[repeated Line as the Pep Puppies]

Jim Possible, Tim Possible:
Hicka-bicka-bow-wow.

Ron Stoppable:
Save the world, unwind with nacos and a movie. Bust a villain out of prison, it's the hoity-toity express to Super Spaville.

Kim Possible:
Saving the world has other perks, too.

Ron Stoppable:
Such as?

Kim Possible:
Cuter boyfriends.

[in the Mathter's hideout]

Mr. Stoppable:
So, this is what a villain's lair looks like. I wonder if he's self-insured...

Kim:
You make my life sound like cake.

Ron:
Let's see. You're smart, athletic, pretty and popular. Sounds pretty cakey to me.

Kim:
OK, flip mode - Playing video games, watching wrestling, and downing snackage. It must be brutal being you.

Ron:
Try the demands of raising Rufus as a single parent? Or the pressures of maintaining my image.

[Kim glares at him]

Ron:
Okay, so I don't have an image yet. But I'm working on it. And frankly, it's exhausting.

Shego:
What does "Neutronalize" mean, anyway?

Dr. Drakken:
I have no idea. But the military had it, it was top secret, that's good enough for me.

Ron:
Its Drakken's evil twin!

Kim:
Ron, he's already evil.

[after they had their brains switched]

Ron:
I told you not to get close to the brain switcher.

Kim:
No you didn't!

Ron:
Well I was thinking it, right before my brain got switched.

Dr. Drakken:
Thanks to Kim Possible, I had to move my lair, again!

Shego:
There's nothing wrong with this time share.

Kim:
Lets get some, what do you call it... Lunchage?

Ron:
Snackage! Kim, snackage. Never lunchage that sounds just stupid!

[In the cafeteria line]

Ron:
Um excuse me, I called ahead for the kosher meal.

[being led by a prospector through mountainous area on donkeys]

Baxter:
Thanks for helpin' buttercup out in her time of need.

Kim:
That emergency delivery of her foal.

Baxter:
In the dark.

Kim:
In the rain.

Ron:
In the middle of a landslide.

Kim:
No problem.

[Ron accidentally finds the entrance to the lair]

Kim:
Mr. Dumb Luck!

Ron:
Not dumb luck, Kim. Dumb SKILL!

Ron:
Have we been in this lair before?

Kim:
They all start to look alike after a while, don't they?

Dr. Possible:
As a board certified neurosurgeon I've got to say it's just not possible to swap brains!

Ron:
[in Kim's body] Point taken Dr. P. But how else do you explain my bare midriff?

Ron:
[in Kim's body, practicing cheerleading] I think I'm getting the hang of this! And I dig this wardrobe! The breeze is quite refreshing!

Ron:
[still in Kim's body, being chased by goons] Gimme a break here! I'm wearing a skirt!

Kim:
Now you know what it's like!

Dr. Drakken:
[still in Private Dobbs's body] Time to deliver my ultimatum.

[Shego snickers]

Dr. Drakken:
And just what is so funny?

Shego:
Your voice, that body? It's not exactly the stuff of ultimatums.

[while moving into his new lair, the phone rings]

Dr. Drakken:
Hello? No, this is not Professor Dementor, he moved!

Kim:
[the time-share lair is about to self-destruct] You can't just destroy this place!

Dr. Drakken:
So I lose the security deposit. It's worth it!

Ron:
But that'll blow up the brain switcher! We'll never get back to normal!

Kim:
Ron? We'll be blown up, too.

Ron:
Aw, man!

Cousin Larry:
Give it to me. I have an idea.

Kim:
This isn't one of your stupid science fiction games, Larry! Ron's facing a kung fu mutant with bio-engineered hands, and mystical monkey powers, and...!

[hands him the Kimmunicator]

Kim:
Here.

Dr. Possible:
Morning, honey. How'd Cambodia go?

Kim:
Mixed. The good part, I rescued a priceless icon from a ferociously snakey, spiky pit. Less good, a ninja stole it.

Dr. Possible:
Isn't that just like those darn ninjas?

Sir Monty Fiske:
How shockingly awful!

Bates:
Yes, awfully shocking!

Kim:
And now, Larry drones on about these creepy conventions he goes to - in costume! And the video games? Last month I learned everything I never wanted to know about that stupid "Fortress" game.

Ron Stoppable:
"Fortress"? The other night I spent six hours battling the hilltop fortress with nothing but a joystick and a will that could not be denied!

Kim:
And to think: that's time you may have otherwise wasted.

Sir Monty Fiske:
So, now you know my secret... which you will take to your graves.

Ron Stoppable:
How can you be so sure? I mean, a lot can happen in the next sixty or seventy years.

Sir Monty Fiske:
So, monkey-hater, we meet again. [a bell rings] Serenity time! Time to center. [drops into lotus position]

Bates:
Monkey kung fu is half mental.

Ron Stoppable:
*Completely* mental in this case!

[Drakken has captured Kim and her mother]

Dr. Drakken:
And so, Kim Possible and her... sister?

Dr. Possible:
Is he hitting on me?

Kim:
No, sidekicks really confuse him.

Dr. Drakken:
Would the tied up listen to the 'tier upper?'

Felix Renton:
[about Ron] Is he always this distracted on a mission?

Ron:
What?

Kim Possible:
Felix, you go stand watch.

Felix Renton:
You mean, "sit watch."

[Kim claps a hand to her mouth, mortified... ]

Felix Renton:
Kim? I'm just playing with you.

Kim Possible:
What's the sitch?

Wade Load:
Major, Kim. We've got a hijacked shipment of high-output aluminum spark plugs in Germany, a stolen coolant nitrox injector lifted from a freighter in the Sea of Japan...

Kim Possible:
A stolen nitro-whatsit?

Wade Load:
Prototype automotive components!

Kim Possible:
Uh... car parts?

Wade Load:
[archly] And the Mona Lisa is a doodle.

Kim Possible:
This is a guy thing, isn't it?

Kim Possible:
I'm a cheerleader waiting by the phone for a guy with a mullet to call. Something's wrong with this picture.

Motor Ed:
[dangling off of a monster truck] This is bogus, Red! A man should not be booted off his ride!

Kim Possible:
Quit calling me "Red"! [imitates him] "Seriously!"

Motor Ed:
But, Red...

[Motor Ed crashes into a stoplight]

Kim Possible:
I warned him.

Motor Ed:
Don't you even wanna know my plan? I mean, come on, seriously!

Kim Possible:
I thought this was just random destruction.

Motor Ed:
I'm gonna crush stuff, and keep on crushin' it, until I've turned the whole world into humongous, rockin' scrap yard!

Kim Possible:
Sounds a lot like random destruction!

Dr. Drakken:
Is it Fish or Fishes? I can never tell.

Shego:
[Shego says all of her lines without stopping her nail-filing] Fish or Fishes.

Dr. Drakken:
Well, which one is it?

Shego:
Both are correct plural forms of the singular word Fish.

Dr. Drakken:
You're very smug right now, aren't you?

Shego:
A little bit.

Kim Possible:
Nice move, genius.

Ron Stoppable:
I am what I is!

Kim:
I saved an ambassador.

Bonnie:
Which is, you know, nice and all. But you have to ask yourself, "Did you give the squad a hundred and ten percent today?"

[Kim's moody]

Ron:
Somebody's tweaked!

Kim:
Am not.

Ron:
Please, KP, you reek tweak!

Agent Will Du:
Why must she constantly irk me?

Ron:
It's hard not to. You're very irk-able.

Ron:
Look! It's Killigan's Island!

[Ron is trick-or-treating in half a costume with younger kids]

Ron:
Trick or treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!

Trick-or-Treatee:
Happy Hallowe'en.

Trick-or-Treater:
Mister, could you not do "smell your feet?" It's really lame.

Ron:
Hey-hey! The Unicorn came to play.

Trick-or-Treater:
You're not a unicorn. You're just a horse's...

[Kim and Monique are on the phone with each other]

Monique:
Guess who's garage band is playing at *my party?*

Kim Possible:
If you say Josh Mankey, I swear I'll scream.

Monique:
Scream, girl!

[Kim recently foiled a crooked deal between Killigan and Drakken]

Duff Killigan:
[on the phone] I WANT MY MONEY!

Dr. Drakken:
Look, I said I would pay you when the stolen Centurion Project was in my possession. It it *not* in my possession, therefore I'm not paying.

Duff Killigan:
You... you... you're a criminal!

Dr. Drakken:
My dear fellow, I've repeatedly tried to take over the world. *Of course* I'm criminal!

Dr. Drakken, Duff Killigan:
Kim Possible!

Ron:
Yeah, and... Actually, you know what, I've got nothin' to add to that.

Henchman:
[working on crossword puzzle] What's an eight-letter word for 'indifference?'

Dr. Drakken:
WHO CARES?

Henchman:
Thanks!

Dr. Drakken:
[to his henchmen] I send you to do one simple thing, one! Steal the atmos freezer. And why didn't you? "The door was locked." OF COURSE THE DOOR WAS LOCKED! Super-secret think-tanks aren't known for their open door policies!

[Ron is afraid to leave his panic room to answer Kim's distress call]

Mr. Stoppable:
Ronald? I should have told you what you learn when you spend your whole life calculating hazards.

Ron Stoppable:
What's that?

Mr. Stoppable:
Some things are worth the risk.

[hanging above a vat of melted chocolate]

Wade Load:
Isn't this where you're supposed to say, "you'll never get away with this!"?

Kim Possible:
[nervously] Only when I'm absolutely sure he won't.

Ron Stoppable:
I'm telling you, Kim, actuarially speaking, you should have been toast in the tenth grade.

Kim Possible:
Yet, here I am.

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, would you mind moving over a lane? We're eight percent less likely to get into a bone-mangling accident.

Kim Possible:
And you're about fifty percent more likely not to tick off your girlfriend if you're a hundred percent less annoying!

Ron Stoppable:
[confused] Well, that doesn't make any sense... where did you get your numbers?

Ron Stoppable:
Look, KP, I just want to keep you safe. Because if you got hurt... it's too big a loss to compute.

Kim Possible:
[touched] That's the most weirdly romantic thing you've ever said to me!

[Ron overcame his fear to rescue Kim and Wade, and now is fleeing Shego's attacks, shrieking in terror]

Wade Load:
On the upside, Ron is surviving way longer than I thought he would.

Kim Possible:
[dreamily] Isn't it romantic?

Kim Possible:
[surveying the wreckage of Ron's house after they've finally gotten Hana to bed] How did she...? I mean she's just a...!... and the walking on the ceiling! Ron, the ceiling?

Ron Stoppable:
[wearily] Welcome to extreme babysitting, Kim.

Mr. Stoppable:
[seeing Hana running around the ceiling] Ronald! Did you carbo-load your sister?

Ron Stoppable:
[proudly] No. Dad, Han is a super, world-saving, ninja baby.

Mrs. Stoppable:
Wait, you knew this?

Mr. Stoppable:
...and you didn't tell us?

Ron Stoppable:
[smugly] This IS my way of telling you!

Lord Monkey Fist:
Ron Stoppable...

Ron:
You're the only one that gets my name right... I respect that.

Ron:
Hmm... monkeyfist

Rufus:
[shivering] Uhhh... monkeys.

Ron:
Don't worry, Rufus, there's nothing to fear but fur itself.

Shego:
Your TV set follows you around? Whatever. Where's Possible?

Ron:
[shouts] She's not my girlfriend!

Shego:
Whoa there, never said she was.

Ron:
Oooooh, right...

[laughs nervously]

Ron:
...awkward.

Ron:
How many times is someone gonna feed me sheep's lungs cooked in its own stomach before they get that I don't like it?

Ron:
Not only do we know I didn't leave the book in Dementor's lab, but chrysanthemums got attitude goin' on there.

Rufus:
Plants, phooey! [blows raspberry]

[When Ron and the "Wade-Bot" are discovered in Drakken's lair]

Wade Load:
Activating stealth mode!

[the Wade-Bot becomes invisible, revealing Ron hiding behind it]

Ron:
Um, yeah, great, but have you noticed how that *doesn't help me*?

[When Ron is discovered in Monkey Fist's lair, Wade activates his Bot's stealth mode again, revealing Ron again]

Ron:
Would you stop doing that!

Kim Possible:
[over the Kimmunicator] Hey, Wade.

Wade Load:
What's up, Kim?

Kim Possible:
Have you heard from Ron? I haven't seen him all day.

Ron:
[on Wade's display] AH, AH! IT'S GOT ME! OH MAN, IT'S GOT ME...!

Wade Load:
Ron? Uh... haven't heard a peep.

Professor Dementor:
[laughing] With my mutagenic plants, I shall build a new world! A world that I control!

Ron:
OW! THORNS! OH, THEY HURT WHEN THEY'RE POKING! OW!

[At a wrestling match]

Kim:
Prepare to be body slammered Jackal!

Ron:
That's body slammed Kim.

Bebes:
So sorry, Kim. "Fool me twice," and all that.

Kim Possible:
Oh, it's not over yet. I'm shutting you down and going to that dance.

Bebes:
[points at Kim's mission clothes] Wearing that? How tacky.

Kim Possible:
I have a dress!

Bebes:
No doubt tackier still.

Kim:
[backstage at American Starmaker] Ron, this is so dumb, it can't work.

Ron:
[writing in a notebook] Yeah, chill down, KP, it'll work.

Kim:
[reading from Ron's notebook] "Yo, listen up, hap a holler from Ron?"

Ron:
I wanted it to sound like me.

Kim:
Why don't you shoot for "sound like English?"

Shego:
I think you may have finally achieved "so dumb it just might work."

Shego:
"Lather, Rinse, Obey"? Aren't you being a little too upfront here?

Dr. Drakken:
Truth in labeling laws, Shego. I'm a supervillain, not a corporate shyster.

Kim:
Ron, what are we doing at Smarty Mart?

Ron:
Research, KP. "How Ron Met Rufus." This is where it all began! And I need to get some ointment for toenail fungus.

Kim:
Need I bother with the "Eeee-ugh," or is it a given?

[the Kimmunicator beeps]

Kim:
Sitch me, Wade.

Ron:
Hey Wade, what do you know about toenail fungus?

Wade Load:
Eeee-ugh!

Kim:
That's what I said.

Dr. Drakken:
You know, after a scheme goes south, nothing cheers me up like Kareoke night! When I hold that mic, and look out at the audience, I feel so alive! Ha, it's electric!

Shego:
[sarcastic] Yeah, maybe that's the answer! Sing the world into submission!

Dr. Drakken:
[gasps] Shego, that's it! Yes! No, really, this time, trust me!

Shego:
What?

Dr. Drakken:
And here I thought I was the evil genius! Ha-ha, you're brilliant!

Shego:
What are you talking about?

Dr. Drakken:
Who needs M.C.-what's-her-name?

Shego:
Oh, no...

Dr. Drakken:
*I* can make sure my shampoo is most wanted!

Shego:
Oh, please no...

Dr. Drakken:
I will become... a hip-hop star!

Kim:
So Drakken is self-foiling now? Spankin'!

Dr. Drakken:
While Shego keeps you busy, I shall launch my hypertronic devastator drone!

[does so]

Kim:
Wait, no countdown?

Shego:
No, no, he's actually learning.

Dr. Drakken:
During the time it takes the computer voice to count backwards from ten, you always manage to defeat me.

Ron:
Uh, dude, is this important?

Dr. Drakken:
[gasps] The gyroscopic control unit! Where did you get this?

Ron:
Yeah, well, we actually snuck in by climbing up your whatever-it-is...

Dr. Drakken:
Hypertronic devastator drone!

Ron:
Yes, and I slipped, and I had to kind of grab on to something, and it kind of snapped off.

Dr. Drakken:
Without the gyroscopic control unit, the drone will...!

[alarm klaxons sound]

Dr. Drakken:
...instantly crash. You buffoon!

Ron:
[shrugs] I do what I can.

[looking at Drakken's mind-controlling shampoo]

Wade Load:
It's supposed to hypnotize anyone who uses it to do whatever Drakken says.

Ron:
[reads label] "Lather, Rinse, Obey!" Hmm, points for full disclosure.

Ron Stoppable:
You want proof? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE PROOF!

Ron Stoppable:
Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean Gill isn't out to get me.

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Stoppable, get back here and save us! Or, more specifically, me!

Dr. Drakken:
It's someone named "DeMenz."

Shego:
Doy! That's Dementor's real name.

Dr. Drakken:
He uses a fake name?

Shego:
[laughs sarcastically] Yeah, can you imagine, Drew Lipsky?

Ron Stoppable:
You don't suppose there are any...

Kim Possible:
Bugs? Come on, Ron! Bugs are no big. Literally. You flick 'em!

Ron Stoppable:
[meeting a giant cockroach] Hey, look. That one's lost. Hey, little guy. You okay?

Kim Possible:
It... it's touching you...

Ron Stoppable:
Weird, huh? Guess I'm only freaked out by the little ones. The bigger ones are cute, like a shiny puppy, with a shell.

Kim Possible:
Puppies don't have shells!

Ron Stoppable:
[the roach starts licking Ron] Hey, he likes me! Can I keep him?

Kim Possible:
[gags] The hurl factor's approaching critical here...

Ron Stoppable:
[saying goodbye to Roachie] Roachie, you're the best dog-sized insect a guy could ever want. I know we've bonded, I feel like an honorary bug, but it's better if you're with your friends. I'll come visit you! And I'll think of you every time I step on something crunchy.

Kim Possible:
Roachie listens to you?

Ron Stoppable:
Well, except at bedtime, it's always "five more minutes" and "can I have a glass of dirty water?"

Kim Possible:
You're like... the roach whisperer.

Ron Stoppable:
You okay, KP? KP?

Kim Possible:
[petrified] Bugs... b-big bugs...

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, yeah, that's real nice. Just mock my weakness!

Kim Possible:
B... b... big... bugs...

Ron Stoppable:
Hey, you're not mocking, What happened to "just flick 'em"?

Kim Possible:
Uh-huh, that was when they were little, and, uh, flickable?

Kim Possible:
[giant roaches are attacking] My jeepers are officially creeped. You're the roach boy - you can handle this thing on your own, right?

Ron Stoppable:
Kim, I got over my bug issues. You gotta deal, too, or we're chunked!

Kim Possible:
We are *so* chunked. Look at that! Those bugs are just... ridiculous big!

Shego:
I'd send you a post card from Iceland, but they don't deliver mail where you're going!

Kim Possible:
This is way worse than when he got the froo-froo haircut.

Wade Load:
Look at it this way: Ron's lost it much faster than usual, so maybe he'll snap out of it faster too.

Kim Possible:
He's calling himself "The Ron."

Wade Load:
...or maybe he's lost to us forever.

Kim Possible:
[reading a catalog for jewelry] "Jimmy Ding the Bling-Bling King?" I can't believe I just said those words with a straight face!

Ron Stoppable:
Ah, the Naco. My wondrous invention for the Bueno Nacho Corporation.

[flashback]

Ron Stoppable:
[voice-over] Part nacho, part taco, all delicious.

Ron Stoppable:
Possible, come here! I want you!

Kim Possible:
Oh, Ronald, it is a wonderment! It will change the world!

Ron Stoppable:
Yes. Yes, it shall.

[dissolve to present]

Kim Possible:
That's how you remember it?

Ron Stoppable:
Pretty much.

Kim Possible:
[about Ron's "Naco Royalties Check"] Open it, Ron. Maybe it's big enough for you to grande size.

[Ron does - and his eyes pop out]

Ron Stoppable:
[stammering] I-it's for nuh... nuh... nuh...

Kim Possible, Bonnie Rockwaller:
[looking] *NINETY-NINE MILLION DOLLARS?*

[Bonnie immediately starts tousling Ron's hair]

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Ron Stoppable, you are such a hottie!

Ron Stoppable:
Are you saying that because I'm rich?

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Uh-huh.

Ron Stoppable:
...Cool!

Monique:
You're the dot!

Ron:
The manly dot!

Dr. Drakken:
[to Jilly] You annoying little poser!

Professor Dementor:
Do you have any idea what the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer does?

Dr. Drakken:
Something very dangerous, I'm sure, or else it wouldn't be top secret.

Kim Possible:
*How* dangerous?

Professor Dementor:
The vortex it creates will be a contained disruption in the very fabric of reality!

Dr. Drakken:
Space... time... e-energy?

Professor Dementor:
All will be twisted in a vortex of PURE CHAOS!

[Drakken tosses the PDVI in an air vent then begins to walk away as Dementor follows]

Professor Dementor:
Did I mention that the vortex will be the size of the state of NEVADA?

Dr. Drakken:
Oh. We're in Nevada.

[nervous chuckle]

Dr. Drakken:
How ironic.

Kim Possible:
Wade, what have you got on Professor Dementor?

Wade Load:
Ok, several days ago he stole a Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer from a research facility in the Rocky Mountains.

Kim Possible:
Why am I just finding out about this now?

Wade Load:
Um... Local, federal and international law enforcement are on the case. They... thought they didn't need you.

Kim Possible:
Well, I guess they thought wrong.

Ron:
Oh...! So I have to wait a whole another week to be a man?

Mr. Stoppable:
That stuff is not what makes you a man.

Ron:
It's the only proof I've got!

[Class President nominations]

Ron:
From the great state of confusion, I am proud to nominate... Kim Possible!

[Kim and Ron are tied above a pool of electric eels]

Kim:
Aren't you going to leave now?

Falsetto Jones:
Leave? What do you mean?

Ron:
Well, usually the villain says his lame pun and leaves, you know, "leaving us to our doom".

Falsetto Jones:
But then I'd miss the whole show. Where's the fun in that? I'm not going anywhere.

Kim:
OK, but I feel I must warn you, you are really breaking a supervillain tradition here.

[Ron slips the judge a five-dollar bill to approve Rufus as a "Peruvian Hairless."]

Kim:
Ron, this is a prestigious international competition!

Ron:
And I'm speaking the prestigious international language of cold, hard cash!

Kim:
There he is: Falsetto Jones.

Ron:
Why do you think he's called Falsetto...?

Falsetto Jones:
[high-pitched voice] Welcome, humans and canines alike, to my annual dog show!

Kim:
Freak helium accident.

Ron:
Ouch.

Dr. Drakken:
[after capturing Dr. Possible and Ron] So, we've got a new team here: the genius and the lackwit.

Ron Stoppable:
[to Dr. Possible] Don't let him call you a lackwit!

Shego:
Why do you want to join some super dorky club?

Dr. Drakken:
To prove that I am brillanter than the lot of them!

Shego:
"Brillanter"?

Dr. Drakken:
Most smartest, whatever! I'm a scientific genius, not an Englist.

Shego:
Linguist!

Dr. Drakken:
Stop that! I need to invent something so brillant, so irrefutably, mind-bogglingly wowful...

Shego:
[to herself] So close.

Dr. Drakken:
Prepare yourself, Shego, for soon, these so-called geniuses will be yesterday's news. I, Dr. Drakken, will be the most brilliant scientific mind on the planet!

Shego:
Yeah... you know what? I'm gonna go ahead and put this plan in the "failed" column right now.

Dr. Drakken:
Come, Shego. In mere moments, ray-X will soon be ours.

Shego:
So, what does this ray-X do?

Dr. Drakken:
That is need-to-know.

Shego:
Uh-huh, so you don't know.

Dr. Drakken:
I need to know. That is why we're here.

Duff Killigan:
[reading Drakken's contract] "Sidekick"? I'll nae be your sidekick! You said equal partnership, fifty-fifty!

Dr. Drakken:
Killigan, be reasonable. Some were born to lead, and some...

Duff Killigan:
And some were born to yap, yap, yap!

Dr. Drakken:
How about "co-villain"?

Duff Killigan:
No!

Hank Perkins:
Hi! I'm Hank Perkins from the temp agency. Ready to get to work, sir!

Duff Killigan:
So tell me, laddie, have you any previous evil experience?

Hank Perkins:
No, but I'm a self-starter. And I have a law degree.

Duff Killigan:
Ah, close enough.

[last lines]

Kim Possible:
I gotta know: what was this "X" thing designed to do anyway?

Scientist #1, Scientist #2:
[beat] Cure the common cold.

Ron Stoppable:
I hate irony.

Kim Possible:
My mom is way cranked that I went out sick.

Dr. Ann Possible:
[yelling from offscreen] "Cranked" is putting it mildly!

Dr. Drakken:
I'm so excited! And I just can't hide it!

Dr. Drakken:
I need a new temporary cohort in evil ASAP! But who? Who?

[Amy's picture comes up]

Dr. Drakken:
[shudders] Never again!

[Duff Killigan's picture comes up]

Dr. Drakken:
Killigan! He works cheap.

Ron:
So on the next mission, I call the shots?

Kim:
We'll see.

Ron:
Oh, I know what that means.

Kim:
It means we'll see.

Ron:
Which is code for "not a chance".

Kim:
Actually it's code for "ferociously unlikely".

Ron:
Oh, Bonnie. You remind me of the cruel kids back at camp. Sticks and stones.

Tara:
They called you names?

Ron:
Yes. While they were hitting me with sticks and stones.

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Stoppable, you know the lay of the land?

Ron:
Every rock, every tree, every bloodthirsty tick... it haunts me.

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Good. Where's the phone?

[Flashback:
a young Ron is on a payphone attached to a tree]

Ron:
Mom? Hey, it's me again. Yeah, yeah, I know I just called three minutes ago, but I just wanted to ask one more time: Can you please get me out of here?

Tara:
This is just like those movies. Innocent teens, stranded in a camp in the middle of nowhere... then some creepo starts to pick them off, one by one!

Kim:
So not the drama, Tara. This isn't a horror movie.

Ron:
Oh, isn't it?

Bonnie Rockwaller:
Okay, if it were a horror movie, there'd be more guys. [points to Ron] And they'd be way cuter than him.

Kim:
[after Ron finds out she's jealous of Ron's new friend] Was it that obvious?

Ron:
Kim, you ate all his nacos.

Felix Renton:
Great minds think alike!

Ron:
Yeah! What?

Kim:
Motor Ed...

Motor Ed:
Red!

Dr. Drakken:
Red?

Kim:
Drakken?

Dr. Drakken:
Kim Possible?

Kim:
How do my foes find each other?

Motor Ed:
We're related.

Kim:
Seriously?

Dr. Drakken, Motor Ed:
Seriously.

Monique:
[Kim is trying to make plans for the evening] Sorry Kim. I've got OT at Club Banana tonight. Did you try Tara?

Kim:
Date.

Monique:
Hope?

Kim:
Grounded.

Monique:
Bonnie?

Kim:
Get real.

Monique:
You could hang with the family.

Kim:
Parents are going out.

Monique:
Baby-sitting?

Kim:
Tweebs have a sleepover.

Monique:
I'm out of ideas, Kim.

Kim:
I can handle some Me-time. Please! How pathetic do you think I am?

Kim:
[later, sitting alone on the couch] I am SO pathetic!

[talking about Felix's cyber-robotic wheelchair]

Motor Ed:
The things it can do, seriously!

Dr. Drakken:
Seriously...?

Shego:
Oh, no, no, no. You are *not* gonna jack some kid's wheelchair.

Dr. Drakken:
News flash, Shego: I'm a *bad* man.

[Drakken and Ed steal Felix's wheelchair]

Kim:
This is low, even for those two.

Ron:
Uh, news flash, Kim: they're bad men!

Felix Renton:
You have something that belongs to me!

Motor Ed:
Dude, seriously, what kind of secret hideout is this? Everyone knows you live here, man!

Dr. Drakken:
One lousy magazine subscription, and the entire world has your address!

[Shego takes the wheel of the "Doom-V"]

Motor Ed:
Dude, babes don't drive! Dudes drive! Seriously!

[Shego blasts him]

Motor Ed:
Man, I love that woman! She's got the green magic!

Shego:
You actually stole a wheelchair? What's next, candy from a baby?

Dr. Drakken:
Been there, done that!

Dr. Drakken:
Well? We've been waiting!

Shego:
Look, I was busy, okay? So zip it!

Motor Ed:
Dude, never get a babe angry when she's driving. Only make it worse. Her driving, I mean. [beat] Uh-oh.

[Shego blasts him]

Motor Ed:
OW! What'd I say?

[after Ron has been hit by the Attitudinator]

Shego:
You okay?

Hego:
Yes, now. What happened to him?

Shego:
[worried] I think he's evil now.

Hego:
[chuckles] Oh... how bad could that be?

Shego:
[still worried] You'd be... surprised.

[Ron gets hit by the Attitudinator]

Wego #1:
Get him!

[They charge, Ron stops him]

Ron Stoppable:
I think not! BOO-YAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAA!

Rufus:
Uh-oh...

Kim Possible:
Not again!

Kim:
Save the world. It's what I do and nobody's going to stop me.

Dr. Drakken:
[Drakken has been defeated and is being carried away by Team Impossible when Kim arrives] You think you're all that, but they are.

Dash DaMont:
I thought you were supposed to be some sort of master of Monkey Kung Fu?

Ron Stoppable:
You know, it's funny, it comes and goes...

Kim:
Hey, Dash? [fighting stance] I'm waiting?

Dash DaMont:
I wish there was another way.

Ron Stoppable:
[skeptical] Really?

Dash DaMont:
No, I'm told we should always say that, for legal reasons.

Ron Stoppable:
Dude you are so over.

Dash DaMont:
Do you have any idea what I am capable of?

Ron Stoppable:
I have a fair idea.

Dash DaMont:
And?

Ron Stoppable:
Dude you are so over.

Dash DaMont:
[Wade holds a remote for a laser grid] You don't have this place wired!

Ron Stoppable:
Trust me, Wade has the world wired!

Ron Stoppable:
I figured since we dropped out of the hero biz I better find something to do with all my new free time.

Kim:
Who said we were dropping out?

Ron Stoppable:
Uh, the three big dudes with the super cool theme song? Can't get it out of my head!

Kim:
Just because those greedy goons think we're cutting into their bottom line, that's no reason to quit.

Ron Stoppable:
No? How about because they have a half a dozen *fists*?

Kim:
Ron, we do not need a theme song!

Ron Stoppable:
Did it occur to you that it gives Team Impossible an edge?

Kim:
If they *had* an edge, which they do not!

[the doors to the lair explode and Team Impossible emerges with Dementor]

Professor Dementor:
You three are positively amazing! What gives you your edge?

Kim:
[to Ron, hissing] *Don't* even.

Shego:
Not to seem ungrateful, Junior, but why *did* you break me out of prison?

Se?or Senior Jr.:
Well, my father's birthday is coming up and...

Shego:
Hold it right there, slick. I don't do cakes, okay? I don't bake 'em, and I don't jump out of 'em.

Kim Possible:
Jim, Tim, did you add aquatic capability to my car?

Jim and Tim Possible:
Sure.

Kim Possible:
Hit it, Ron! [they drive into the water]

Ron Stoppable:
Ok, which button?

Jim and Tim Possible:
For what?

Kim Possible:
Aquatic capability!

Jim and Tim Possible:
Ohhhh! We thought you said "COULD you add aquatic capability!"

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, I can see how they'd make that mistake. Ha-ha! Look! Fish!

Se?or Senior Jr.:
I will make our demands now!

[dials phone]

Automated Operator:
Thank you for calling Smarty Mart. For Customer Service, press one. For job opportunities, press two. To demand an enormous amount of money for the safe return of our founder, press three.

[Junior presses three]

Automated Operator:
Please enter the enormous amount of money you are demanding now.

Se?or Senior Jr.:
This is even easier than I anticipated!

[Wade reads a love note for Monique that Ron gave him]

Wade Load:
The humble earthworm is vital to agriculture, it moves through the soil by excreting lubricating mucus.

Kim Possible, Monique:
Eww!

Ron Stoppable:
Wait! That's my biology report! Oh no! That means...

[camera cuts to Mr. Barkin grading Ron's "biology report"]

Mr. Steve Barkin:
[sniffs] That's a beautiful thought. A-plus, Stoppable!

[Ron gives Wade romantic advice]

Wade Load:
Shouldn't I just be myself?

Ron Stoppable:
Nah, that only works in cartoons.

[Wade confronts Se?or Senior Sr. over his stolen "cupid ray"]

Se?or Senior Sr.:
Your genius cannot beat my evil or my treachery. Have you met my bodyguards, Evil and Treachery?

[Last lines - Ron fears being hit with another "cupid ray"]

Kim Possible:
Hey Ron, what are you doing?

Ron Stoppable:
Nothing!

Kim Possible:
You're weird.

Ron Stoppable:
Kim...

Kim Possible:
[romantically] Shhh. I like weird.

Ron Stoppable:
So, I'm gonna teach you the fine art of charmin' and disarmin'.

Wade Load:
You?

Ron Stoppable:
Yes, me! Uh, 'scuse me, WHO is dating Kim Possible?

Wade Load:
Yeah, but... the laws of extreme improbability inexplicably worked out in your favor!

Ron Stoppable:
And we'll make them work for you... playah!

Wade Load:
Why is romance so much harder than microelectronics?

Ron Stoppable:
Well, you know, things would be a lot easier if, oh I don't know, you just invented a love ray that would make Monique fall in love with you. [laughs]

Wade Load:
Hmmmm... [quietly] Booyah.

Ron Stoppable:
Ok, OK, that's not really a bun warmer, is it? 'Cause my bun is lukewarm and Monique's all hottie-hot.

Wade Load:
Ok, it's a device that makes girls fall in love with me. I invented it!

Ron Stoppable:
What? That's great! That... that's WRONG! Oh, SO wrong! Wade!... Wait, which means it wasn't my mad love-school skills?

Wade Load:
Well, you gave me the idea for the love ray. That's something.

Ron Stoppable:
Me? No, I didn't! I was... [gasps] Oooh, so when I said...? and then you thought...? Then you did...?

Wade Load:
Yup!

Ron Stoppable:
[groans] Oh, Kim's SO gonna blame me.

Timothy 'Fearless Ferret' North:
So, what've you been up to lately?

Rudolph 'White Stripe' Farnsworth:
Oh, living each day in delusion, thinking that fiction is reality, that's me.

Timothy 'Fearless Ferret' North:
Me too!

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Let's move it, people, time for student photos! Stoppable, none of your punk hand gestures this time.

Ron Stoppable:
What? It was a thumbs-up!

[Ron has been scarfing snacks from a bag, then hears Professor Acari talking about his research on the nutritional value of insects]

Ron Stoppable:
OH, GREAT GOOGLY-MOOGLIES! WHAT IS IN MY MOUTH?

Professor Acari:
Toasted chili peppers...

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, phew!

Professor Acari:
...and mountain grasshoppers! Delicious, aren't they?

Kim Possible:
Ron, maybe you should look before you eat.

Ron Stoppable:
Crunchy and spicy has never betrayed me like this before!

Wade Load:
Better hurry, we've only got a few minutes!

Kim Possible:
Until what?

Ron Stoppable:
Until you're a monkey permanently.

Kim Possible:
Can this get any worse?

Ron Stoppable:
[looks over her shoulder] Yes! [Monkey Fist comes flying at her]

Weight Lifter:
Hello, how you doing? What's with the ape?

Kim Possible:
I'm a monkey. I have a tail.

Weight Lifter:
Oh, ja. How much can your tail press?

Kim Possible:
We'll see.

[Her tail grabs a barbell and flings it at Monkey Fist's gut, knocking him backward]

Kim Possible:
Strong tail. [Her tails pulls the pin from her cuffs and she bounds out of the room]

Lord Monkey Fist:
Stop her!

Weight Lifter:
I had a dog that ran away from me once. It still hurts, you know?

[last lines]

Kim Possible:
Mom! What is *that* picture doing on the wall?

Dr. Ann Possible:
What's that, honey? Oh, well the boys just loved it.

Jim Possible:
It's your best school picture yet!

Tim Possible:
Hoo-sha!

Kim Possible:
Very funny, tweebs.

[She looks at the photo, which features Chippy in a puffy green dress, with the name "Kim Possible" under it]

Dr. Ann Possible:
Well, you have to admit, dear, the Nana dress isn't your look, but Chippy pulls it off.

Ron Stoppable:
[thinking he's cool] Hi. I'm Ron. That's R to the O to the hiz-N!

Random Chick:
[pushing flyer of ron being a loser at his chest, unimpressed] That's L to the O to the hiz-ER.

[Drakken and Shego are undercover in Florida as ice cream vendors]

Shego:
You realize that this is a waste of my many talents.

Dr. Drakken:
Patience, Shego. Once I broadcast my mind control signal into the MP3 players of these unsuspecting spring breakers...

Shego:
Yeah, I know. They will become your new zombie army. It always sounds so foolproof at this stage.

Dr. Drakken:
You know, I never realized that a single-truck operation like this could be so profitable. [out the window] Yes, children, enjoy! Remind me to order more Snow Bank bars on a steamy day like this. Those things really move.

Dr. Drakken:
What am I supposed to do with an army of retired people? [sees the tray Nanna Possible is holding] Ooh, lemon squares!

Shego:
Gee, they could all buy you discount tickets for the movies. [snickers]

Dr. Drakken:
[mouth full] Oh, these lemon squares are scrum-delicious! Oh... you know what? They're here, they're zombies. Might as well see what we can do with them.

[pops another one into his mouth]

Dr. Drakken:
Okay, follow me...

Shego:
Are those hydrangeas?

Ron Stoppable:
Okay, well, I have no idea what just happened, but I am clearly not cut out to help people make life choices.

Kim Possible:
Oh, I wouldn't be so sure. You helped me choose... you.

Ron Stoppable:
Okay, *that* time I was a genius.

Kim:
I know what's best for Ron, even if he doesn't.

Ron:
Oh this place just screams lair. Look at all the chrome. And you've got doors that go "whoosh"

Senor Senior Junior:
I have been curious about the "whoosh"

Senor Senior, Sr.:
I like the "whoosh." It's the door saying, "I am closed."

[after Ron Stoppable has complimented Senor Senior, Sr. on his new bad-guy lagoon]

Senor Senior, Sr.:
The piranha won't be here 'til Monday, but I assure you the Koi have not been fed in days.

[Kim is explaining how the Seniors' reckless consumption affects others]

Kim:
Yeah... um... you house sucks up so much power, it's causing blackouts all over Europe.

Senor Senior, Sr.:
And these people without power, they are inconvenienced?

Kim:
Very.

Senor Senior, Sr.:
See, Junior, how awful it is to be poor?

[Wade arranges a helicopter ride out to the Seniors' island]

Ron:
This cannot be safe.

[widen to show the pilot's chair is empty, and the helicopter being steered by remote control]

Kim:
Uh, Wade? I'm kind of with Ron on this one.

Gemini:
The Worldwide Evil Empire, also known as WEE. It's an acronym.

Ron Stoppable:
Acronym. Hmm, yeah, that's a school word. I should know this.

Gemini:
I am Gemini!

Ron Stoppable:
Dude, I am Virgo, but what's your name?

Gemini:
Gemini!

Ron Stoppable:
Oh, it's an acronym! Oh-kay!

Ron Stoppable:
Face it. Without me, you're just another freak-fighting cheerleader with a web site.

Ron:
Sorry, Ron Factor!

Ron:
[talking in his sleep] No monkey touch, no monkey touch...

Ron Stoppable:
I gotcha. G.J. needs Kim for some top-secret save-the-world action.

Dr. Betty Director:
Actually, G.J. needs you, Ron Stoppable.

Kim Possible:
[shocked] For... what?

[Gemini and Dr. Director confront each other]

Dr. Betty Director:
You just can't leave me alone, can you... Sheldon?

Ron Stoppable:
"Sheldon"?

Gemini:
The name is Gemini! And this has nothing to do with you... Betty!

Kim Possible:
"Betty"?

[Gemini fires missiles at Kim from his cybernetic hand]

Gemini:
Let me give you a hand!

Kim Possible:
How many times have you used that line?

Gemini:
And it's still fresh!

Dr. Possible:
I'm as nervous as a porcupine in a balloon factory.

Kim Possible:
This is so my worst nightmare!

Ron Stoppable:
My worst nightmare is the one where I'm in school in my underwear.

Kim Possible:
Ron, you've actually done that.

Shego:
[who has just endured being under mind control] DODGEBALL AND DODOS?

Dr. Drakken:
Ooh.

Shego:
Do you have ANY idea what listening to you is like? It is SO BORING!

[Shego chases Drakken away]

Ron:
Shouldn't we go after them?

Kim:
No, whatever Shego's going to do to Drakken is TEN times worse than anything *I* could come up with.

Dr. Possible:
Remember: Candy is dandy, but fruit helps you poop.

Kim:
[after discovering that her brothers have trashed her room looking for her Kimmunicator] I'm about to become an only child!

Tim Possible:
Anything's possible...

Jim Possible:
...for a Possible.

Dr. Drakken:
[singing] Who wants to build a robot tick? I do! I do!

Dr. Drakken:
And no doubt you have heard of me?

Kim:
Uh, no.

Dr. Drakken:
Now think about it... I'm a genius.

Kim:
I really don't...

Dr. Drakken:
Doctor?... Doctor D - Dr. Dra - *Dr. Drakken*!

Kim:
Dr. Drakken?

Dr. Drakken:
Aha! I see my reputation precedes me.

Kim:
You have something that doesn't belong Dr., uh, what was it again?

Ron:
Uh, Dr... He said it was "Duh" something.

[after dropping into a tank of sharks]

Ron:
Why is it never otters? I wouldn't mind dropping into a tank of otters. They're fun!

Kim:
[Ron is slurping the last of his drink] Is that really necessary?

Ron:
Uh yea! Every drop counts when you're a thousand miles away from free refills!

Wade Load:
Kim, look in your pack.

Ron:
[doing so] Hmm, lipstick...

Wade Load:
Actually, that's not ordinary lipstick it's...

[it explodes in Ron's face]

Wade Load:
...elastic constricting agent.

Kim:
Oooh... my compact! I've been looking for this!

Ron:
What does that do?

Kim:
It's a small mirror that allows me to check my face.

Shego:
Intruder alert!

Dr. Drakken:
[offhandedly] Sorry. Can't hear you. Intruder alert too loud.

[just before dropping Ron and Kim into a tank of sharks]

Dr. Drakken:
I hope you can stay.

Kim:
For lunch?

Dr. Drakken:
I wasn't going to say that.

Ron:
You were so "for lunch."

Dr. Drakken:
Fine, stay for lunch!

[drops them in]

[Wade tells Kim that a villain's lair is on a supposedly-haunted island]

Kim:
Haunted island? Keep out "meddling kids"? Please!

Ron:
Remote control lasers. I'll handle this! [stands there like an idiot while Kim rolls her eyes] I've got nothin'. Kim?

Steve Barkin:
[Calling roll in Statistics class] Possible.

Kim Possible, Jim Possible, Tim Possible:
[in unison] Here.

Kim Possible:
Not my class! Ohh...

Steve Barkin:
Three Possibles in the same Statistics class? What's the probability?

[class laughs]

Steve Barkin:
It's not a joke, people! It's a pop quiz!

Camille Leon:
Do you know who I am?

Ron Stoppable:
Lady, the question is, do *you* know who you are?

Britina:
These are my BFF's from way back, Kim Possible and... this guy, who's usually with her.

Mr. Steve Barkin:
Listen up, people. The regular Home Ec teacher disappeared six years ago, nobody noticed until this morning, so I'll be covering this class.

Granny Crocket:
We received this "anonymous" message this morning...

[on the screen, the only visible in the darkness is a pair of eyes]

Se?or Senior Sr.:
This message is to warn you, that two thieves will be attempting to steal your chocolate chip recipe.

Se?or Senior Jr.:
Father, what are you doing in the dark?

[turns the lights on]

Se?or Senior Sr.:
Junior, no! The lights!

[message cuts off]

Texan:
[laughing] Ah, Yankees.

Kim Possible:
Actually, they have their own European island.

Texan:
Ain't from Texas, that's all I know.

[first lines]

[in a high-flying jet]

Kim Possible:
Thanks for the ride, Colonel Dmitri. This is our stop.

[She hits a button, and the cockpit canopy pops off]

Ron Stoppable:
[shivering] Uh, for once, couldn't we just, like, land, and, you know, taxi to a gate or something?

Rufus:
[shivering] Please!

Ron Stoppable:
You know, for someone who can disarm a doomsday device, you seem to have major mixer issues.

Kim Possible:
Ron, this machine hates me!

Kim Possible:
Too bad about your restaurant.

Ron Stoppable:
Well, when the health inspector saw a live rodent, you know... serving the food, the die was cast.

Rufus:
[whimpers] Sorry.

Ron Stoppable:
[Ron's new girlfriend goes off fearlessly to rescue some friends trapped by an evil despot] Are all girls like this, or just the ones I know?

Malcolm the Wraithmaster:
Sorry about the whole "trapping-you-in-cyber-reality."

Ron Stoppable:
Ah, these things happen... to me.

[Wade and Kim enter the virtual world of "Everlot," Kim's first time playing the game]

Kim Possible:
Wade, you're a giant!

Wade Load:
Actually, I'm normal size.

[Kim realizes she's the size of an insect, with fairy wings]

Kim Possible:
Oh, great!

Wade Load:
You're a Sprite-kin. You gotta start small.

Kim Possible:
Stupid game!

Malcolm the Wraithmaster:
Join me, and be Queen of Everlot.

Zita Flores:
Never!

Malcolm the Wraithmaster:
Well, how about going with me to the Spring Fling Dance?

Zita Flores:
Also a never! Add "in a million years."

Malcolm the Wraithmaster:
[after being defeated] I was gonna be the Supreme Overlord of this magical world. Now what'll I do?

Ron Stoppable:
Hey, try out for the drama club.

Malcolm the Wraithmaster:
Drama club?

Ron Stoppable:
Well, you've already got the shirt.

Malcolm the Wraithmaster:
You're so right! I do have the shirt! Thanks, knave.