Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang)

Bubba:
Whisky. No ice, no naughty water.

Felix:
I had a friend. He was the richest guy I knew. He had everything. Mansion. Roller. Pool. Ten grand watch. But he had a tiny dick. A real tiddler. You know the kind of dick you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Now what's the point if you got the bullets but you ain't got the gun? And how girls laughed in his face. So he went down to The States - to LA. And he pumped his dick full of this new wax stuff. Pumped it to pumpy. Yeah. His dick looked bigger.

Jimmy:
Felix. Listen, all I'm...

Felix:
[points revolver]

Jimmy:
F***.

Felix:
I'm getting there! I'm getting there. Well this guy got back with his big waxy new dick. And he wanted to get out and use it, so he jumped on a sunbed... to get his "old man" brown. You know what happened?

Jimmy:
No, I got no idea.

Felix:
His f***ing penis melted. Melted all over the f***ing sunbed.

Jimmy:
So?

Felix:
So, you can't get a big brown dick overnight. Sancho Panza.

Felix:
D' you know what this is? It's a bullet. It's got a brass case. Copper jacket. Lead core. 'n it's very hard. When I put it in my gun and pull the trigger... it travels at 500 miles an hour. What do you think would happen... if one of these hit you? What would happen to you, Robert? This bullet wouldn't stop. You understand. It wouldn't stop - here. It wouldn't stop once it was inside you. It would *rip* through your skin. It would tear through your: fat, flesh, sinews, muscle. Cut into, into, your internal organs... puncturing your your lungs, flooding your stomach with blood. It would tear into your heart - and burst it wide open. And then it would fly away. Fly, fly away. It'd stop you breathing, Robert. It'd stop you thinking, ever again. Or feeling. Or remembering. Or having fun... all over.