Kotch

Peter Stiel:
[offended by Mr. Kotcher calling him "Peter Herzenstiel"] Just "Stiel". S - T - I - E - L.

Erica Herzenstiel:
Dumbest thing I've done in my life, having a baby in a filling station.

Joseph P. Kotcher:
[about his wife and baby son in the car] She covered all the windows every time she changed him. I don't know why, I don't know what harm it would do people seeing his little pink pecker at 25 miles an hour, but she covered the windows every time.

[Kotch is being given a psychological exam by an obnoxious psychiatrist]

Dr. McKernan:
Do you like "Alice In Wonderland" by Lewis Carroll?

Joseph P. Kotcher:
I wouldn't like it by anyone else.

[During the psychological exam, Kotch is shown a Rorschark ink drawing and asked to describe what he sees in it]

Joseph P. Kotcher:
An inexperienced spermatozoon, about fifteen years old, asking directions to the nearest fallopian tube.