L'impossible Monsieur Pipelet

Oncle Robert:
First of all, a minister's career is the only one for which no degree is required.

Maurice Martin:
Well, you called me an admiral, why couldn't I call you a minister? Calling you a minister isn't such a serious insult!

Oncle Robert:
Maybe today you'd be wearing an admiral's uniform.

Maurice Martin:
Do I really look the part?

Germaine Martin:
Fortunately not!

Maurice Martin:
You look even sadder than usual. Any trouble?

Le marchand de journaux:
Well, sales are down. That's no good at all. All is well.

Maurice Martin:
What about those nice murders there have been lately?

Le marchand de journaux:
Mmmm... Crime doesn't pay anymore.

Maurice Martin:
Well, what you need actually is catastrophes, rumors of war, revolutions...

Le marchand de journaux:
Oh yes...!

Maurice Martin:
Well, don't you worry: with our pretty little current society, all that WILL soon be back. You'll make money again.

Le marchand de journaux:
Are you sure?

Maurice Martin:
For certain. Besides all millionaires begin by selling papers, right?

Le marchand de journaux:
Right, but the trouble is that in my case I started by being a millionaire.

Maurice Martin:
You see such a whole lot of millions pass through your hands that you'll wind up becoming a capitalist.

Oncle Robert:
Well, not everybody can be an anarchist!

Georges Richet:
The trouble with being a landlord is that you can't complain to anybody.

Mme Richet:
What world is this in which caretakers daughters start taking secondary school finals?

M. Richet:
You don't need this to be happy, my dear!

Maurice Martin:
He gets on my nerves with his "My good man" and "My good Germaine". What gives him the right to speak to me like that? After all he's nothing but a grocer made rich by canned food! What "My good man" means is "My good BROKE man, if you live it's thanks to me, thanks to the money I made in canned food. Be kind, my good Maurice, here's your doggie sugar"...