L.I.E.

Howie:
On the Long Island Expressway there are lanes going east, lanes going west, and lanes going straight to hell.

Gary:
I don't have a father. I have an a**hole.

Gary:
I think he's trying to say it's not politically correct to f*** your sister.

Kevin Cole:
We're not even old enough to *vote*, so that's a stupid joke Blitzer.

Kevin Cole:
Her dress is so short, you can see her clint.

Brian:
What?

Kevin Cole:
Her clint, it's in her p*ssy.

Howie:
You mean "clit."

Kevin Cole:
F*** you, I mean like... clintasaurus.

Howie:
It's clitoris, you f***in' idiot.

Kevin Cole:
It's a CLINT.

Brian:
Yeah, like you can see Clint Eastwood in her p*ssy.

Kevin Cole:
Hey-hey, it's Captain Kirk. Ever see that old Star Trek show where there's a bad Captain Kirk and a good one? And Spock, and Dr. Phones...

Brian:
You mean "Bones"?

Kevin Cole:
What? It's Phones McCoy.

Brian:
"Bones" is a nickname for doctor, idiot.

Kevin Cole:
No, it's like get the doctor on the phone, like house calls.

Brian:
It's BONES.

Kevin Cole:
It's Phones.

Howie:
Different ?

Howie:
Or a gangsta.

Howie:
So what am I then ?

Howie:
My own category, wow.

Howie:
Well, I'd think that you are just like James Bond except James Bond doesn't go around blowing boys.