Lady Behave!

[first lines]

[Clarice's friend honks his car horn]

Clarice's Date:
We'll be right out! Hurry, Clarice, the horses are frothing!

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
Snap it up, Paula!

Paula Kendall:
Hold still, baby.

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
Well, we're going to be late.

[to her date, referring to Paula]

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
She never goes to Mardi Gras.

Paula Kendall:
[to Clarice's date] She squirts seltzer bottles. Watch it.

Paula Kendall:
Now behave yourself or I'll come and chaperone.

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
Oh, why don't you, Paula?

Burton Williams:
Go ahead, Paula. If you swung from a chandelier once in your life, maybe you'd forget this trip to the islands.

Paula Kendall:
Crazy youngsters.

Burton Williams:
As one old graybeard to another, what do you do for rheumatism?

[Clarice and her escort kiss passionately]

Paula Kendall:
Stop it! Stop it! It's time you two were in bed.

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
[coyly] Why, Paula...

Paula Kendall:
Oh, ah, I-I didn't mean...

Paula Kendall:
[to Clarice's date] Now you'll just have to go. That's all there is to the matter.

[Paula shoves the man out the door]

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
Wh-where'd the nice man go? Nice man...

[drunkenly whistles as if calling a dog]

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
Where's the nice man?

Paula Kendall:
Clarice...

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
C'mon, nice man...

Howell:
I've been handling Mr. Cormack's mistakes for years. I believe I'm competent.

Paula Kendall:
Now, baby, are you sure you didn't get into any trouble?

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
Aw, no no no, no trouble. First we went to Oglethorpe's - we all went to Oglethorpe's for supper...

Paula Kendall:
Yes.

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
And then we went dancing at Bell Tavern, then we got married and then we all went for breakfast.

Paula Kendall:
What did you say?

Clarice Kendall Andrews Cormack:
I said we all went for breakfast.

Stephen Cormack:
I ought to divorce you!

Paula Kendall:
No, Mr. Cormack, you can't divorce me and you can't bawl me out because I'm not your wife. Just let me be a lesson for you. I'm the sort of thing that happens when you start proposing between drinks.

Paula Kendall:
You married my sister and you can't blame her because, well, you're nice enough to make any woman forget she has a husband and you can't blame me because I was trying to save my sister from jail. Why, you can't even blame Andrews because she was his wife! So you see, Mr. Cormack, it was all your fault.

[Clarice snaps her fingers and Andrews follows her out the door]

Patricia Cormack:
Just like a poodle!