Larry the Cable Guy: Git-R-Done

Larry The Cable Guy:
[In reference to Playstation Football] Here's an idea, why don't they make a button that says frickin' pass!

Larry The Cable Guy:
THen there's a feller who got hit by a train! HoW the - how the heck do y'get hit by a train! I mean it's not like it'll jump up and attack ya'at th'last minute or nuthin'! THere's like a railroad there to give y'a y'know, a HEADS UP SIGN! I tell ya, if y'ever gonna get hit by a train, do this: [steps to side] TA-DA! There ya go! Attaboy!

Larry The Cable Guy:
This lady's sewing EVERYBODY int he whole friggin' county! She's like - shes like: "my husband got his leg bit by a shark and no one jumped in and saved him" NO $#*+ LADY! It's a friggin' shark! Get off your fat@$$ and save him! That's jus' like asking a retard to go out and beat up Jackie Chan! Well the waterhead's gonna get his@$$ kicked! I tell ya, put that shark out in the parking lot of Wal mart, I'll kick the $#%~ outa him! I'll beat him silly aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall day long! GIT-R-DONE!

Larry The Cable Guy:
Oh like u never did that before! Every man - EVERY MAN HAS DONE THIS! Just tuck y'wein'r b'tween y'legs, runaround your house, lookit at y'self in th'mirror, and say: "Oh hey there I'm rosanne!" You know like on the Rosie O'fatt@$$ show,

Larry The Cable Guy:
I tell you'at! That was scarrier than Richard Simmons chasin' after you w/ a box of rubbers! that's pretty scary! I tell you'at! I don't give a d@mn who y'are! that's hil-LARRy-ous right there! 'at's funny!

Larry The Cable Guy:
Boy I tell you what, if I were a girl, I'd NEVER SHAVE! I'd look like I'm smuggling around Chewbacca in my underbriches! Yeah That would be me, smuggling chewbacca!