Last Resort

Artyom:
In Britain, friendly people start conversation by talking about the vever...

Tanya:
Weather.

Artyom:
...Vether. Look at this expensive...

Tanya:
Example.

Artyom:
...It is lovely morning, it isn't, isn't it?...

Tanya:
Isn't it.

Artyom:
...Yes, it's beautiful, it isn't it?...

Artyom:
On ne priyedat. Davay, ya otkroyu. (He's not coming. Hand me that, I'll open it.)

Tanya:
Pochemu? (Why?)

Artyom:
On, navernoye, peredumal. (He's probably changed his mind.)

Tanya:
Pochemu? (Why?)

Artyom:
Potomu chto on nevrastenik. Ty tozhe ne sovsem normal'naya. Vy, navernoye, podkhodite. (Because he's neurotic. You're not completely normal yourself, either. You're probably well suited.)

Council Official:
Can you confirm your name, please?

Tanya:
Tat'yana Krush-i-na.

Council Official:
You should have registered here yesterday. This is a general information pack. These are your food and toiletry vouchers for the week.

Tanya:
But, I don't need them. I want to go to London.

Council Official:
No, you can't do that.

Tanya:
Why?

Council Official:
You've applied for political asylum.

Tanya:
Yes, and so?

Council Official:
All applicants must stay in their designated holding areas. Look, it's in here.

Tanya:
You mean I can't leave?

Council Official:
No, that's right.

Tanya:
But, I don't... I don't understand why. If I have money, if I have place where to stay in London, why I can't go?

Council Official:
The world and his wife would go to London if we let them.

Tanya:
I have to go to London. What do I do?

Alfie:
Are you a refugee?

Tanya:
A refugee by accident... Why are you laughing?

Les:
Yeah? Gorgeous cheekbones... yeah, gorgeous cheekbones, they're fantastic. So, anyhow, what I was going to do, I don't want to take up too much of your time. But, there's my card.

Tanya:
Yes.

Les:
Ok? And, uhh, you know, if you're interested, give me call. But, if there's anything else I can do, let me... I am Mr. Stonehaven. Everybody knows me around here, so, if you need me, call me. There's my card. All right? Hope to see you soon. Bye.

Frank:
Bye.

Les:
See ya, mate. Let's go, Frank.

Artyom:
Ty khot' ponyala, chto oni sutenery i chego oni khotyat? (You do realize they're pimps, and what they want?)

Tanya:
Hello.

Tanya:
Would you be interested of this? It is a fur... Russian fur, from Siberia. It is very... it is very... valuable. I have two pieces. And... and, uhh, it's very beautiful, very expensive... in Russia. And, you can wear them as a hat, or like scarf, or you can pin it on your coat... if you want.

Tanya:
Ok, thank you.

Alfie:
What are you tryin' to do to my machine? What ya doin'? Come, 'ere. You've broken it. Try it now... Where's your dad?

Artyom:
My dad's dead.

Alfie:
My dad's dead, as well.

Artyom:
Yours is dead, too?

Alfie:
How did he die?

Artyom:
He's dead.

Alfie:
Well, what's the crap with this Mark fellow?

Artyom:
He's my mother's fiance.

Alfie:
Do you like him?

Artyom:
No. My mom come to England for him, and he doesn't come to airport.

Alfie:
Does your mom love him?

Artyom:
I think she loves men who make her cry.

Les:
Ok, Tanya. Just give me a little twirl, just turn around. Yeah, and just un... unzip, and give me a flash. Mmmm... See, I see her as like a school girl, or... or maybe a nurse. She's sort of got that caring quality about her.

Frank:
Bit skinny up top, Les.

Les:
Or a nun.

Frank:
A nun? Yeah, a nun would be good.

Tanya:
But, what do I do?

Alfie:
Are you alright? Doin' alright? I brought you some company and some food. Are you hungry? Have you ever had a curry? Curry. Beautiful.

Alfie:
Have you ever had a curry?

Artyom:
Yeah.

Alfie:
You little liar. Come here.

Alfie:
That's chicken tikka masala. That's chicken in a light, spicy sauce. It's beautiful, man, I promise you.

Alfie:
Come here. We'll sort it all out. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Alfie:
Vindalu. Evil. It's a beast of a curry, yea, it's a real wicked b*tch. Pila rice, sweet rice, yellow rice. Rice is rice, and forever more shall be so. Potatoes with cabbage. Bombay sag potatoes. Have you ever had 'em? Beautiful. I promise you. If you throw-up, it's all on my head. Nan bread to soak it up. Yeah, d'you fancy it?

Tanya:
We have no spoons.

Alfie:
What's the matter. Ah, no, no. Hey, don't get upset.

Tanya:
Sorry.

Alfie:
No, it's alright, man, it's alright. Ok. Why are you so upset?

Tanya:
Because I'm crazy.

Alfie:
No, you're not crazy.

Tanya:
Yes.

Alfie:
Why?

Tanya:
Yes. I'm so stupid. I don't know... This city, it's like... it's like punishment for me, it's like punishment for some mistakes in my life. You know, yes, yes, really. I make so many mistakes.

Alfie:
I've made mistakes. We're human beings. We all f*** up. We all make mistakes. It ain't just you. What are you doing that's so bad?

Tanya:
Just... my main... I always... need... need to be in love. You know, I can't to... to live, without lo... love.

Alfie:
There's nothing wrong with that.

Tanya:
Yes.

Alfie:
No, there is not.

Tanya:
Yes. Because, two my... two my husbands, and two divorces. It's very bad for me, for my child. And, now, we're here, and I think maybe its... maybe it's my... main mistake.