Late Night Poker

Jesse May:
There are more shades at this table than a lamp convention.

Jesse May:
He's just found out that not all trappers wear fur hats.

Jesse May:
He's now like a mouse running through a maze looking for cheese.

Jesse May:
He's got some chips and now he's going to chirp.

Jesse May:
The only thing that can overcome luck is time.

Jesse May:
And if my granny had wheels she'd be a trolley cart!

Jesse May:
Good evening, I'm Jesse May. Welcome to Late Night Poker.

Jesse May:
With me tonight is Nic Szeremeta, editor of Poker Monthly Magazine.

Joe Beevers:
Yeah, but he's Irish.

Jesse May:
It's entirely possible that those glasses are opaque.

Victoria Coren:
I go all in... what the hell!

Jesse May:
Has anyone here established any sort of credentials or methods to beat Phil Hellmuth?

Jesse May:
One person dying to see the hand played was Liam - he couldn't get hurt!

Jesse May:
Three players left by definition only. Liam Flood's stack is shorter than a single espresso!

Jesse May:
Phil looks like he would rather be anywhere than at the table with this Frenchman!

Jesse May:
It's impossible to hide at the poker table. I mean, these guys are just letting it all hang out!

Jesse May:
Well, Phil actually got away with one!

Phil Hellmuth Jr.:
Yikes! I'm showing too much information... nice hand. How do you say "trap" in French? I was trying to trap you!

Steve Liu:
Too early!

Simon Trumper:
You must have two pair.

Korosh Arshadnejad:
You were winning.

Simon Trumper:
It doesn't matter.

Simon Trumper:
You did nothing wrong. You did the right thing at the right time against the wrong player... with the right hand.

Korosh Arshadnejad:
You're such a marvellous reader of hands. I'm going to embarrass you now.

Simon Trumper:
There's one thing I've got that nobody else has got at this table.

Ross Boatman:
A bald patch?

Simon Trumper:
I said I wouldn't do it unless I had a hand... I had a hand.

Jesse May:
In poker when nobody has anything, the guy who bluffs first usually wins.

Korosh Arshadnejad:
They call it "Bollywood" in India. What do they call it in China?

Jesse May:
Aces has found cowboys!

Jesse May:
Dave shows almost no emotion at being taken out of this tournament on a 15:1 shot!

Jesse May:
Like you say, it's very tough to outplay someone, but much tougher when you're playing from behind.

Jesse May:
He's spinning one red chip and a pile of dreams.

Jesse May:
You know, Jon Shoreman's worked so hard on this Late Night Poker series. I think he's had two 3rd place finishes, but he's never made the jump for the hump.

Jesse May:
Manuela says "No more diamonds" - they're not her best friend today!

Jesse May:
As Dave says, he calls like a lion; not like a lamb.

Dave Ulliott:
Did anyone see me win that pot? Maybe someone in the audience. The fish is back!

Jesse May:
Two pairs for Dave - Aces and Queens - beats Mike's Five high!

Jesse May:
Just goes to show you - you can do everything right in poker, and sometimes it just doesn't help!

Phil Hellmuth Jr.:
Who called time on me?

Thomas Kremser:
I did.

Phil Hellmuth Jr.:
I've never heard of a floorman calling time before. Is that normal over here?

Mike Magee:
Did you have anything?

Jon Shoreman:
Four threes.

Mike Magee:
I thought I played bloody well!

Jesse May:
Usually you see a little more exuberance from Marty. He's the sort of player that will run around the table with his fists in the air!

Jesse May:
They're folding like ten-pins!

Jesse May:
King Seven of Hearts - they don't even have a name for that hand, do they?

Nic Szeremeta:
Not that I'm aware.

Jesse May:
Don't see much fear in those eyes, do you, Nic?

Nic Szeremeta:
None at all.

Jesse May:
Sure enough he's going to stick Six's in the muck, where they belong!

Jesse May:
That's about as rare as sunshine in London!