Left 4 Dead 2

Coach:
[everyone is running up a flight of stairs] Who the hell... puts an evac station... up thirty flights of goddamn stairs?

Nick:
[passing the exhausted coach] Well, look, Coach. Maybe the helicopter... Maybe it's made of chocolate.

[laughs, while Coach scowls after at him]

Ellis:
[recovering from the Smoker attack, Ellis looks out the elevator window. His expression of disgust changes into shock as he sees hundreds of common infected in the mall's atrium] Holy *sh*t*...

[Coach offers his hand to Ellis, who takes it]

Rochelle:
[giving Ellis a grenade launcher right after Coach helps him up] Hey. "Kill all sons-a-b*tches", right?

[Ellis nods, grinning at his new toy]

Coach:
[killing a zombie] This used to be a *nice* neighborhood!

Coach:
[reading CEDA notice] "Report unusual behavior"...

[Nick opens the cash register with his magnum, smirks]

Coach:
"Barricade your homes"...

[Ellis opens up a weapon rack, a devilish grin spreading across his face]

Coach:
"Avoid all contact with infected individuals"...

[Ellis passes a pistol to Rochelle, who is checking a map for any possible evac points]

Coach:
"Wait for official instructions."

[laughs and throws paper away]

Coach:
[getting up, walking to the camera's right with chocolate bar in hand] Wait, my ass.

Ellis:
[camera reveals him to be fully-loaded: a first-aid kit, Grenade Launcher and Hunting Rifle strapped to his back; and holding a SPAS-12 combat shotgun] Kill all sons-a-b*tches.

[c*cks shotgun, grinning]

Ellis:
That's *my* 'fficial instructions.

Ellis:
["Dead Center"; Streets, in the Hotel's saferoom] My buddy Keith tried camping out on top of a building once. He was shooting crows, but the police were too busy tear-gassin' him to ask what he was doin' up there. He screamed for an entire *year* every single time when he opened his eyes! Oh, man! At first it was funny, then it just got sad, but then it got funny again! Oh, man!

Nick:
["Hard Rain": beginning] Wanna hear a prediction?

Ellis:
Nope.

Coach:
*No!*

Nick:
There's not gonna *be* any gas. Watch.

[the group moves through the Burger Tank and reaches the gas station]

Coach:
[reading the sign] Outta gas. *Sh*t.*

Nick:
No gas. See, what'd I say?

Ellis:
Looks like we're gonna have to walk to this Ducatel place.

Nick:
What makes you think *they* still have gas?

Coach:
'Cause if they don't? We gonna be stuck here *forever,* Nick.

[recurring line]

Coach, Ellis, Nick, Rochelle, Bill, Louis, Francis, Zoey:
Reloading!

Ellis, Nick, Rochelle:
Reloading here!

Coach, Ellis, Nick:
Gotta reload!

Coach:
[after fending off a surge of Infected] Re - *goddamn* - loading!

Ellis:
[inside a Rescue Closet] Oh, come on, man! I'm gettin' *bored*! Get me outta here!

Coach:
[cheering his teammates] All right, everybody, you are givin' a hundred-an'-ten percent!

Rochelle:
[picking up an ax] "Ax" me a question. I dare you.

Ellis:
[picking up a nightstick, singing] Gonna beat me a zombie to death with a nightstick!

Coach:
[inside a Rescue Closet] Never had no code to ask for help before, but I do now! *HELP!*

Nick:
[when on low health in "The Parish"] I have *not*... come this far... to die now.

Coach:
Oh, yeah! Our goal is right next to the bridge! On the OTHER MOTHER-EFFIN' SIDE OF THE WATER!

Coach:
[upon reaching the empty gas tanker] Outta gas...

Nick:
No gas. See? What'd I say?

Ellis:
Looks like we'll have to head to this "Ducatel" place.

Nick:
What makes you think *they* still have gas?

Coach:
'Cause if they don't, we gonna stuck here forever, Nick.

Coach:
[if the other Survivors shoot one too many impounded cars... ] WOULD YOU STOP SHOOTING THE GODDAMN CARS?

Ellis:
[upon seeing a Tank] Tank! Run! No, no, no, don't run - SHOOOOT!

[ridden by a Jockey]

Coach:
Jockey on me!

Coach:
Jockey on my back!

Coach:
Gah, that thing's on me!

Coach:
Ellis - Ellis, is that you? What the hell?

Ellis:
Get this off my *back!*

Ellis:
I got a Jockey on me!

Ellis:
Sum*b*tch* is on my back!

Ellis:
This ain't right havin' this THING on me!

Ellis:
*Git* this *thing* - *off* - *me!*

Ellis:
This thing is *ridin'* me!

Ellis:
*Is this thing humpin' me?*

Nick:
Shoot this thing on my back!

Rochelle:
I can't see! This thing is on me!

Rochelle:
It's on my face!

Rochelle:
[struggling] Let go! *Let* *go!*

Rochelle:
LET GO LET GO LET GO LET GO!

[seeing a Jockey riding a fellow Survivor]

Coach:
That ain't right for a man to be *ridden* like that.

Coach:
*Damn*... that ain't right.

Ellis:
Oh, looks like a monkey on a mule!

Ellis:
Hey, where's that thing *goin'* with 'em?

Ellis:
That's just humiliating!

Ellis:
That don't look dignified!

Nick:
Ten bucks says he takes 'em to the right.

["Dead Center"; seeing a Boomer]

Coach:
Roly-Poly!

Coach:
Fat Thing!

Ellis:
PUKER!

Ellis:
It's *Exploding* Guy!

Nick:
Goiter man!

Nick:
Aunt Bee!

Nick:
Fatty!

Rochelle:
Ohhhh, sh*t, it's a Fat Guy!

Rochelle:
[2 versions] Barf Bag!

Coach, Nick, Rochelle:
FAT GUY!

Coach:
["Dead Center"; initial encounter with Infected in the Hotel] Y'all know what the hell these things are?

Nick:
These don't look like people...

Ellis:
Zombies are real! I *knew* them movies were true!

Rochelle:
You hear about them, but... until you see them...

Nick:
I dunno about you, but I'm killing these things.

Coach:
It's them or us.

Nick:
["Dead Center"; initial encounter with a Tank] WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

Coach:
Holy SH*T! *What is that?*

Ellis:
GIANT THING!

Rochelle:
Why can't that thing be on our side...?

Ellis:
["Dark Carnival"; as the group passes through the Fairgrounds] Would you *look* at all these rides? And no LINES! Wish we weren't in such a hurry!

Ellis:
["Swamp Fever"; start of Plank Country] Nick, what the hell? You shot the pilot!

Nick:
Well, he wasn't doing a good job once he became a zombie, now, was he?

Coach, Rochelle:
That's true. If I had to pick a low point in the flight, it was probably when he stopped flying the chopper and attacked us.

Ellis:
[alt. line] True, true, he *was* a zombie, but he was also our *only pilot!*

Nick:
I shot a *zombie.* He was a *zombie,* Ellis. He must've gotten bitten before he picked us up.

Soldier:
["The Parish": when the Survivors contact the army via radio at the Bridge] Bridge, are you immune?

Coach, Nick:
We are NOT infected.

Soldier:
Negative, Bridge. Are you IMMUNE? Have you encountered the Infected?

Coach:
[indignant] Encountered? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke, and eyeballs, and twenty other parts I don't even recognize! We are immune as SH*T!

Nick:
[alt. line] Yeah, you could say that.

[Ellis follows the others into the elevator as Infected close in. A Smoker appears and lassoes Ellis with its tongue just he passes through the closing doors]

Ellis:
Agh! What the he - ?

[Then a couple of Common Infected grab Ellis, keeping the doors from shutting]

Ellis:
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Nick:
[grabbing Ellis and pulling him away] No!

Coach:
[approaching with a chainsaw] God*damn*it! EAT THAT SH*T!

[Coach shreds through the Common Infected and the Smoker's tongue, pulling back just as the doors close]

[when gooed by Spitter]

Coach:
Wha - *SPIT!*

Coach:
Damn Spitter got me!

Coach:
God*dam*mit - GOO!

Ellis:
I got Spitter sh*t on me!

Ellis:
Ah, hell, man, Spitter goo!

Ellis:
Goddamn GOO!

Nick:
[multiple versions] I got hit by the burning goo sh*t!

Nick:
God - *dam*mit, I'm - covered in goo!

Coach, Nick, Rochelle:
Get outta the goo!

[gooed in "Dead Center"]

Coach:
That female zombie jus' *spat* somethin' on me!

Coach:
You have *got* to be *kiddin'* me...

Ellis:
What the *hell?* 's he spittin' *fire?*

Ellis:
Oh, great, now they're spittin' sh*t at us!

Ellis:
Yo, somebody's gotta kill that zombie spittin' sh*t!

Nick:
Ugh, what in the hell did that *thing* just *do?*

Nick:
Ugh, *what* is this *sh*t* on me?

Nick:
Ugh, *what* am I *covered* in?

Rochelle:
Oh, geezus - this zombie spits burning sh*t!

["Dead Center"; seeing a Spitter]

Coach:
Crazy woman!

Coach, Ellis:
Spittin' thing!

Ellis:
Spittin' NASTY Thing!

Ellis:
That *loogie* dude!

Ellis:
It's that goo guy!

Ellis:
*'ey,* that big *neck*... thing!

Rochelle:
Green guy!

Coach, Nick:
Neck!

Ellis:
[as Coach and Nick catch up with Ellis and Rochelle on the deserted hotel roof] Hey, where is everybody? Hellooooo?

Rochelle:
Oh, this is not happening...

Ellis:
Anyone here?

Rochelle:
[Three helicopters are seen flying away from the city] This isn't happening... this isn't happening...

Coach:
[angered] Thought they were supposed to be savin' our asses!

Nick:
Looks like there's been a change of plans...

Nick:
[when the group finds a working elevator] Technically, you're not supposed to use an elevator in a fire. But that might not apply during a *zombie apocalypse.*

[the group enters the elevator, where one member hits the button for the lobby]

Nick:
[as the doors shut] Nick. Name's Nick. You all did good. What're your names?

Coach:
People just call me Coach.

Rochelle:
[to Ellis] Hey. Name's Rochelle. You?

Ellis:
Ellis. It's a pleasure to meet you, Rochelle.

Coach:
["Dark Carnival"; Stadium saferoom] Okay, here's the plan. First, we look around for supplies. then we start the Midnight Riders' finale. It's all kinds of fireworks, smoke pots 'n' lights 'n' sh*t. That chopper pilot can't *miss* it!

Ellis:
[barely able to contain his excitement] So we gotta set up to rock, and then fight zombies? This is the best day of my life!

Nick:
Coach, that is about the stupidest idea I've ever agreed with. I've never seen the Midnight Riders, but okay - let's try it.

Coach:
Then let's do it! Everybody grab a weapon and let's go!

Coach:
["Swamp Fever"; start of Plank Country] Man, that was some sh*t, the pilot turning into a zombie right before our eyes... Nice shootin', Nick.

Nick:
No problem, big guy. Sorry about the landing.

Coach:
Ah, I've had worse landings... Actually, that's a lie to spare your feelings. That crash was pretty bad.

Coach:
["Swamp Fever"; start of Plank Country] Sh*t, that pilot just *changed.* One minute, he was flyin' us to safety; the next, he was... well... I am pretty damn sure he was tryin'-a *eat* us.

Nick:
["The Parish"; the group climbs out of a sewer... into the middle of an impound lot] Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Watch where you shoot!

Ellis:
*Sh*t.* They all got alarms.

Rochelle:
Careful, alarm cars everywhere...

Coach:
Everybody take it slow, now...

[the group starts moving through the lot]

Nick:
Careful... *careful... *

[friendly fire, Tank]

Coach:
DO I *LOOK* LIKE A *TEN-FOOT-TALL MONSTUH?*

Ellis:
SHOOT THE *TANK*, YA *BLIND SON OF A B*TCH!*

Nick:
It's twelve feet tall, six feet wide! How are you shooting *ME?*

Nick:
It's the size of a *truck!* *How are you missing?*

["Dead Center"; seeing a Charger]

Coach, Ellis, Nick:
One Arm!

Ellis:
Hey - BIG ARM!

Ellis:
Hey, watch out, man, that thing charges!

Nick:
Hillbilly!

Nick:
Overalls!

Rochelle:
[3 versions] ONE OF THOSE CHARGING THINGS!

Nick:
["Swamp Fever"; in the drainage ditch safe room] Sh*t! This swamp is gonna ruin my white suit.

Rochelle:
[scoffing] The white suit with zombie brains all over it? That one?

Nick:
Brains come out. Swamp water doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that.

Coach:
[start of "Hard Rain"] We should be in an' outta here. Get the gas, get back to shore, signal Virgil with the flare gun in the gun bag. Then we should just, uh... um... aw, *hell.* Tell me *someone* brought the *gun bag!*

Coach:
["The Parish"; reading graffiti that says, "Where's CEDA?"] Good question: where'n the hell *is* CEDA? 'Cause I'd sure like to *shoot* some-a their asses!

Nick:
["The Passing"; the group arrives at a wedding reception, complete with a Witch bride; whispering] Careful. I've seen a bride *just* like that before.

Coach:
Man, I hope we don't see a Tank in a tuxedo...

["Dead Center"; seeing a Smoker]

Coach:
Smokin' one!

Ellis:
Hey, it's that nasty tongue thing!

Ellis:
Yo, it's that smokin' dude with the *tongue!*

Nick:
The smokin' thing!

Rochelle:
Tongue Guy!

Nick, Rochelle:
Tongue!

["Dead Center"; grabbed by a Smoker]

Coach:
I'm all wrapped up!

Coach:
Hey! Where'm I gettin' dragged off to?

Ellis:
Auh, I've been *lassoed!*

Ellis:
I can't move - *help* - !

Ellis:
I'm gettin' dragged away!

Ellis:
Auh, where's this thing draggin' me?

Nick:
What's this *sh*t?*

Nick:
What th - ah, *gross sh*t!*

Nick:
Freaking TONGUE?

Rochelle:
Oh, sh*t! What the hell is goin' on?

[pummeled by a Charger]

Coach, Ellis, Nick, Rochelle:
CHARGER'S GOT ME!

Coach:
Shoot this damn Charger!

Coach:
Goddamn - *one-a y'all gonna shoot this thing?*

Coach:
Don't stan' there! Kill this thing!

Coach:
Charger's - *poundin'* me into the ground!

Ellis:
Charger's rippin' me UP!

Ellis:
*Kill* this *thing!*

Ellis:
*Shoot* the damn thing!

Ellis:
Just *shoot it!* SHOOT IT!

Nick:
Could somebody shoot this *goddamn thing?*

Nick:
Shoot the big guy poundin' me into the ground!

Rochelle:
[grunts in pain] Don't *bash;* shoot!

Rochelle:
Shoot it, shoot it, shoot this thing!

Rochelle:
I ain't playin' with this thing, *help!*

Coach, Nick:
This thing's beatin' my ass!

Ellis:
[Swamp Fever; on the ferry boat in Plank Country] If y'all ask me, these swamp people got it all figured out. No cops, no rules...

Rochelle:
No indoor plumbing?

Ellis:
They figured out how to stop goin' to the bathroom? *Man,* that is a*maz*in'... [understanding and disgust make his expression of impression go away]... oh. No, wait... oh, I just got that. *Sh*t,* that's gross as hell.

Coach:
["Dark Carnival"; seeing the Whispering Oaks ad on a highway billboard] Hey, Whisperin' Oaks! Sh*t, I used to go there when I was a kid!

Nick:
Oh, good. Now we can die there as adults!

Coach:
["The Passing"; reading a sign for the Historic Rayford Under-The-River Tunnel Tour] "Historic Under-the-River Tour". Hey, this could be pretty interestin'!

Nick:
Trust me - that *won't* be the case.

[friendly fire]

Ellis:
I'm not a *zombie.* Shoot the *ZOMBIES.*

Ellis:
C'mon, man, it's not funny anymore!

Ellis:
Would you *mind* not shootin' me, please?

Ellis:
What was *that* for?

Ellis:
Y'all take leave of your senses?

Ellis:
*Damn,* man, quit shootin' me!

Ellis:
You're shootin' me!... Well, that just dills my pickle!

Ellis:
Why'n the hell you guys keep shootin' me?

Ellis:
Hey, that's not cool. *Seriously.*

Ellis:
You do that again an' I'll knock you into next week.

[friendly fire]

Nick:
You do that again, and I will *bury you alive.*

Nick:
I don't wanna hear any excuses - just *stop* shooting me.

Nick:
[sarcastically] Well, *thank you* for ventilating my suit.

Nick:
DAMN!... you suck at shooting.

Nick:
[angrily] *You.* *Are.* *Shooting.* *ME!*

Nick:
Let's try shooting *zombies* instead of people, okay?

Nick:
Why would you think shooting me is a good idea?

Nick:
[sarcastically] Shoot me again. Shoot me again, I dare ya!

Nick:
*Come on!*

Nick:
OH *COME ON!*

[friendly fire]

Rochelle:
Okay, that better have been an accident!

Rochelle:
OW! Hey!

Rochelle:
Hey hey hey hey hey hey - *hey.* Seriously?

Rochelle:
Don't *make* me get ugly with you!

Rochelle:
Okay, you have some serious issues with that gun.

Rochelle:
Oh no you didn't just *shoot me!*

[friendly fire]

Coach:
Oh - excuse me? *EXCUSE ME?*

Coach:
I swear to god you can't shoot worth sh*t!

Coach:
There's gonna be some biblical sh*t happenin' to you if you do that again!

Coach:
Young'un, stop that sh*t.

Coach:
[angrily] Man - I swear to *GOD* you can't... *SHOOT* worth *SH*T!*

Coach:
Shootin' *me?* That's some *crazy* sh*t.

Coach:
You do know you shootin' me, right?

Coach:
Look - try shootin' some damn zombies instead-a *me!*

Coach:
Are you outta yo *mind,* shootin' at me?

Coach:
Will you cut that sh*t out?

Coach:
YO! Stop shootin' me, alright?

Coach:
GODDAMMIT STOP SHOOTIN' ME!

Coach:
Oh, hell NO. Do NOT shoot me!

Coach:
Do that again an' I'll come back on ya!

Coach:
Man, you *shot* me?

Coach:
["Dead Center"; the group's elevator has reached ground level, which is mostly engulfed in flames] Hit the button before this turns into a bad idea.

Coach:
["Dark Carnival"; trying really hard not to laugh] It's not funny. You could really hurt your...

[busts up]

Coach:
Naw, it *is* funny!

[interrupting one of Ellis's stories]

Coach:
We ain't got time for this, Ellis.

Nick:
Ellis. Is now the best time?

Rochelle:
Ellis, sweetie, can this wait?

Ellis:
[unfazed] Okay.

Ellis:
["The Passing"; seeing the Witch bride, whispers:] Oh, man... You think she's cryin' 'cause she got left at the altar?

["The Passing"; the Witch bride attacks an incapacitated Survivor]

Ellis:
[2 versions] Oh man, I changed my mind! I do NOT wanna get married!

Nick:
[2 versions] The bride is killing me!

Coach:
["Hard Rain"; in the Witch-infested sugarmill] What the hell do *they* got to cry about? *We're* the ones gettin' attacked...!

Coach:
["The Passing" - Streets saferoom] I heard all about this under-the-river tour. Supposed to be pretty damn good! Real educational.

Nick:
So let me get this straight: it's a *tunnel*... under the river, right?

Coach:
You damn right. Under a river.

Nick:
And this is supposed to teach me about *what,* exactly?

Coach:
Uhh... historical sh*t? Man, how'm I supposed to know? I ain't been there yet!

[when chased by a Witch]

Coach:
The b*tch is chasin' me!

Coach:
Run! Run! Witch comin' through!

Coach:
Shoot the Witch, *shoot the Witch!*

Coach:
Oh, sh*t. WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!

Ellis:
Comin' through! Witch on my ass!

Ellis:
Run, I pissed 'er off!

Ellis:
WITCH! WITCH! WITCH!

Nick:
[2 versions] Ahhhhh I *pissed the Witch off!*

Nick:
This b*tch is chasin' me!

Nick:
Witch coming! Witch coming!

Nick:
Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! Shoot the Witch! *What are you doing? Shoot her!*

Rochelle:
My bad, my bad, my bad!

Rochelle:
Kill the damn thing!

["The Passing"; when chased by the Witch bride]

Coach:
Ugly bride is chasin' me, man! Ugly bride is chasin' me!

Coach:
Kill the bride! Kill the bride!

Ellis:
Runaway bride, RUNAWAY BRIDE!

Ellis:
Help here! Here comes the bride!

Ellis, Nick:
Here comes the bride!

Rochelle:
Ohhh, I've pissed off another bride!

Coach:
["The Passing"; entering the Under-The-River Tour] *Man,* look at all this, ah... uh... aw, this tour is bullshit.

Nick:
[in an "I told you so" manner] Toldja.

Ellis:
*Nick.* We all see the tour's got some problems; no sense in pickin' on Coach.

Coach:
["The Passing": entering the Under-The-River Tour] Man, this is a real...

Nick:
Shithole?

Coach:
Yeah, it's a shithole.

Nick:
["The Passing"; entering the Under-The-River Tour; with sarcasm] Yeah, tunnels. You're right, Coach. You're *so* right: history is coming alive.

Coach:
Aw, shuddup, Nick.

Nick:
["The Passing"; Streets saferoom, talking about Francis] So we find this historic section, go under the river, and then we kick that biker dude's ass, right?

Coach:
Nick. Son. I think we got *bigger* problems.

Rochelle:
Compared to *you,* Nick? He was downright nice.

Nick:
["The Passing"; seeing the Witch bride, whispers:] Ellis... Go give the bride a kiss, it'll be good luck. Trust me.

Ellis:
[shocked; trying to keep his voice down] *What...?*

Rochelle:
[hissing] Would you guys *shut up!*

Ellis:
["Dark Carnival"; at the Screaming Oak roller coaster] We gotta *run* the *coaster?* Aw, man, this is gonna be cool!

Coach:
Naw, this ain't gonna be cool. You ain't right in the *head,* boy.

Coach:
["Dark Carnival"; at the carousel] A'ight, this is gonna open the gate, and *what* the hell else?

Nick:
You know what? Somehow, I think it's gonna activate everything else around here.

[They open the gate, activating the carousel]

Coach:
Ahh *damn,* the merry-go-round started!

Coach:
[alt. line] *Sh*t,* that thing's makin' a racket!

[They start running their way to the switch, amid hordes of Infected]

Ellis:
Turn that damn thing off!

Nick:
["Dark Carnival"; saferoom in the Tunnel of Love] You got your wish, Ellis: we're in an amusement park ride.

Ellis:
This... ain't that kind of ride, Nick.

[laughs a little nervously, then whispers]

Ellis:
*This is where you make out with your girlfriend.*

["Swamp Fever":
the group finds a pile of rotting animal corpses]

Rochelle:
[exhales] We heard reports that the virus spread through mammals, but I have no idea if that was true.

Ellis:
So they jus' *killed* 'em?

Rochelle:
Well, better safe than sorry, I guess.

Coach:
["Dark Carnival"; after reentering the Tunnel of Love from the maintenance area] I don't remember the Tunnel of Love bein' *this* long... I musta had somethin' else on my mind.

Coach:
[soon after; sounding uneasy] Hm. Sh*t. First time I ever couldn't *wait* to get out of the Tunnel of Love.

["Swamp Fever"; the group finds a dead parachutist]

Coach:
Sh*t. Why would you ever jump out of a plane?

Ellis:
What's a parachutist doin' out here?

Ellis:
Why would he parachute out here?

[later, they come across a crashed passenger plane]

Coach:
All right. *Now* I understand why you would jump out of a plane.

Coach:
Looks like we weren't the only people crashin' today.

Coach:
Nick, you didn't shoot this pilot too, didya?

Ellis:
Holy *sh*t*... Well, this explains our parachutist.

Ellis:
Had to be *scary* to be on this flight.

Nick:
I guess walking isn't so bad.

Ellis:
["Dark Carnival"; arriving at Kiddie Land] Holy *sh*t,* guys - KIDDIE LAND!

Coach:
Sometimes, it feels like we *baby-sittin',* doe'n't it?

Rochelle:
He *is* making the best of a bad situation.

Nick:
[alt. line] He's like a five-year-old. With guns. And a comprehensive grasp of every swearword in the English language.

Rochelle:
[alt. line] I wish I could be that happy... ah, to hell with it. *WHOO! Kiddie Land!*

[friendly fire, character/gender-specific]

Coach:
Li'l sister, you got to learn to shoot.

Coach:
Girl, you got to learn to shoot.

Coach:
Boy, quit pointin' that thing my way.

Coach:
Nicolas. I thought you knew how to use a gun.

Coach:
Hey, Nick: that was my *ass* you shot.

Coach:
*Quit shootin' me, Nick!*

Coach:
Ellis! Settle down, boy. You shot me.

Coach:
Ellis! I'll take that gun away from ya!

Coach:
Ellis, *you are shootin' me!*

Coach:
Ellis, *dam*mit - ya shot me!

Coach:
Ro! What's gotten into ya, girl?

Coach:
Ro! You know *damn* well better than that!

Ellis:
["Swamp Fever": while talking to Virgil via radio] Okay, this guys askin' a lotta questions. Does somebody else wanna take this?

Coach:
No, you got it, Ellis.

Whitaker:
[the survivors have entered Whitaker's gun shop and started to take weapons. He speaks over the intercom from the floor above] Hello there. Now, normally when four bloodstained looters break into my store, I would shoot them where they stand. But you happen to have caught me at an opportune time. Take what weapons you need and come on upstairs. I reckon we can come to an accordance. I'm guessing you four'd be heading to the mall for rescue. And I further guess you won't get there, as the road is blocked. I know because I watched CEDA block it. So here's what I propose. I've barricaded myself on the roof, with provisions and guns enough to and kill every zombie in the city five times over, and eat well while I'm doing it. But in my haste I forgot to pack cola. Cola and nuts is a weakness of mine-though I do not love it so much that I'd be fool enough to die in the attempt to procure it. So here is my proposition: If you go find me some cola at yonder food store, I'll clear that CEDA blockade for you.

Ellis:
I can understand that, man needs his snacks. [quietly] Man, this guy's weird. [alt. line] Sir, in exchange for the use of your weapons, I will get you some Cola. [alt. line] Cola for guns; I think this is like the reverse of what my school did.

Coach:
[one possible line] I have never killed zombies on a snack run, but today is a day of firsts. If you don't mind us using your guns to do it, we're good to go. [alt. line] Cola and nuts? Could go for some myself. Better not be diet cola because that I will not do.

Whitaker:
No, sir. Diet don't get the right flavor. I better not see no cherry neither. It's straight cola or no deal.

Whitaker:
[one of the survivors puts the six-pack of cola in Whitaker's mail slot] Okay, that's my cola. Yes, yes. Put it in the slot! [it goes in] Thank you for that! Now, turn around. Y'all ever see a tanker explode?

Whitaker:
[he fires a rocket at the blockade, opening up the road to the mall] placholder

Rochelle:
[Whispering] Oh, sh*t, I think I grabbed diet cola. We should get outta here. [Yelling to Whitaker] Hey, thanks, mister!

Rochelle:
[the survivors arrive at a radio at the plantation house] Let's try the radio.

Ellis:
[presses the button] Howdy.

Virgil:
Well bonjour! It's real, real good to hear from someone; it's real quiet 'round here. Hey, now where is you folks at?

Ellis:
We're at a plantation house.

Virgil:
All right now, stay right where you is; I'm gonna come get ya.

Virgil:
[dropping the survivors off in Ducatel to fetch some diesel for his boat] Now I'll throw the anchor just off the shore, waitin' for ya. Signal at me when you get the gas.

Rochelle:
This should be easy. We just need to grab some diesel.

Nick:
You wanna hear a prediction?

Coach:
[emphatically] No.

Nick:
There's not going to be any gas. Watch.

Virgil:
[coming back to rescue the survivors in the rain storm] That was real smart there with that Burger Tank sign! All right, now! Get back on here!

Coach:
[in the safe room of the bridge, which has been their ultimate destination all along] All right, all right, all right. We gonna stroll across that bridge, and the army's gonna take care of us.

Nick:
[remembering the murdered and uninfected corpses they saw earlier, from the military trying to prevent the spread of the disease] Or, they're going to line us up against a wall and shoot us.

Coach:
Well, you free to make yourself a new life right here in this room, Nick.

Nick:
Okay, all right, let's go.

Nick:
[alternate line] Before we run across this bridge right toward the people who've been dropping bombs on us, anyone wanna talk about a Plan B?

Coach:
No. [or] Nah. We good.

Nick:
Okay, all right, let's go.

Papa Gator:
[speaking over a radio nearby the survivors; this dialogue plays until one of the survivors picks up the radio] Rescue 7 this is Papa Gator, over.

Rescue 7:
[in a parked helicopter] This is Rescue 7, over.

Papa Gator:
Rescue 7 what is your prepare stat? Over.

Rescue 7:
Prepare ETA 10 minutes over.

Papa Gator:
Did not copy, say again Rescue 7, over.

Rescue 7:
Ten minutes, over.

Papa Gator:
Copy that, all lambs extracted, last buzzard starts running in 15 minutes, copy that? Over.

Rescue 7:
Roger that Papa Gator, 15 minutes. Ah, be advised, we have seen flashes on the west bank, ah... visually confirmed west bank is clear, over.

Papa Gator:
West bank is clear Rescue 7, ah... sector is clear, over.

Rescue 7:
Negative. We are seeing something, over.

Papa Gator:
Rescue 7, are you... ah... seeing Whiskey Delta, or friendly? Over.

Rescue 7:
Ah... unclear, it...

Papa Gator:
[Whiskey Delta means walking dead, or infected/zombies] Whiskey Delta, or friendly? Over.

Rescue 7:
[referring to the gunfire of the survivors earlier] Papa Gator, we're not sure, we're seeing... ah... multiple personnel and small arms fire. What is our current ROE? Over.

Papa Gator:
Rescue 7, all lost lambs are account for, targets should be considered hostile. Only prosecute targets that are a clear threat, over.

Rescue 7:
Roger Papa Gator, all personnel on floating LZ, clear for last buzzard run, over

Papa Gator:
Affirmative Rescue 7, keep the bridge deck clear. Last buzzard run will start in 15 minutes. Out

Coach:
[hearing the radio] Those sound like soldiers! Somebody talk to 'em.

Nick:
[alt. line] Hey, those are soldiers! Let's let 'em know we're here.

Nick:
[picks up the radio] Um, Hello?

Ellis:
[if Ellis picks up] Hello there!

Papa Gator:
Rescue 7, that's coming from the bridge! Bridge, identify yourself. [or] Bridge! Who is this?

Rochelle:
This is someone who could use some help.

Coach:
[if Coach answers] Hey! There's four of us on the bridge!

Nick:
[if Nick answers] My name's Nick. There's four of us on the... on the west end of the bridge.

Ellis:
[if Ellis answers] Name's Ellis! You? [alternate line] Four people that could use some help, sir. [alternate line] Uh, well well, sh*t, I'm Ellis, I got Rochelle here with me. Coach, and Nick.

Papa Gator:
[if Rochelle answers] Uh, sorry for using the radio, but, we are four survivors on the bridge. [or just] Four survivors on the bridge! [or] This is someone who could use some help!

Papa Gator:
Bridge, are you immune?

Coach, Nick, Rochelle:
[Coach, Nick, and Rochelle all say this line in different ways if they were the one who picked up the radio] We are NOT infected.

Ellis:
[if Ellis answered] I ain't *sick*...! [alt. line] I'm feelin' pretty good. [or] I guess. I think so... Whaddya mean?

Rochelle:
[if Rochelle answered] We're not infected! Listen, we... [she is interrupted]

Papa Gator:
[response to any of them] Negative Bridge. Are you IMMUNE? Have you encountered the infected?

Coach:
*Encountered*? Boy, I am covered in zombie blood and puke and eyeballs and twenty other parts I don't even recognize. We are immune as SH*T.

Rochelle:
Yeah, yes, yes, we are immune. [or an alternate line] Okay. We just ran up here covered in blood getting chased by zombies. Do you *think* we've encountered infected? LET US THROUGH THE DAMN BRIDGE!

Nick:
[if Nick answered] Yeah, you could say that.

Ellis:
[if Ellis answered] We fought zombies, yeah! [or] Well hell, yeah, we fought zombies!

Papa Gator:
Rescue Seven, are you equipped for carriers?

Rescue 7:
Affirmative, Papa Gator.

Papa Gator:
Bridge, we have pulled out of that sector. Your only remaining pickup is available on the other end of the bridge. Our last chopper is leaving in ten minutes. You need to lower the span and get across the bridge. God be with you. [alternate line] Bridge, that sector is clear of friendlies. Your only remaining pickup is on the east bank of the bridge. Our last chopper is leaving in ten minutes. You need to lower the span and get across to the east end. Be advised, the bridge is crawling with Whiskey Deltas. [or] Be advised, the bridge is crawling with infected. [end line] Good luck./Good luck, Bridge./God be with you, Bridge.

Coach:
I hear ya, man. See ya soon. [alt. line] We gotcha. We used to that sh*t by now. [alt. line] Wind up the chopper, because here we come. [alt. line] We're on our way.

Nick:
[if Nick turns on the bridge] You heard the man, let's get across the goddamn bridge.

Ellis:
[if Ellis turns on the bridge] Allright, he says we gotta lower the bridge, be careful of the zombies, and they'll be waiting on the other side. Oh yeah - and he wishes us good luck.