Lies & Illusions

Isaac:
Where are my diamonds, Alicia? Maybe I didn't explain to you our retirement policy... there isn't one.

Martin:
I'm not asking you to stop thinking about her. I'm just saying every guy needs a little... huh?

Wes Wilson:
I'm taking care of myself.

Martin:
Sure you do. All right, I'm gonna go have a smoke and leave you with some people.

Wes Wilson:
I thought you quit.

Martin:
Ah, good health is only gonna keep me in bad marriage.

Wes Wilson:
[to an old lady] Good luck finding love in the 21st century.

Wes Wilson:
Hey, what the hell is this?

Isaac:
Mr. Boone will accompany you inside.

Wes Wilson:
Why?

Isaac:
Insurance, Mr. Wilson.

Wes Wilson:
The girl isn't enough?

Isaac:
They rarely are.

Boone:
[to Wes] You know that book you wrote talking about gender roles and relationships? You know, the guy should cook for his wife once a week? Any recipes you recommend?

Samantha:
I'm only here to warn you.

Wes Wilson:
But you're a little late.

Wes Wilson:
Cops. And I've got the murder weapon... perfect.

Samantha:
Nicole, how's the Bureau?

Nicole Williams:
How does it feel to be alive?

Wes Wilson:
You two know each other?

Samantha:
She's been tracking me for years.

Nicole Williams:
So, Wes, anything you wanna tell me?

Wes Wilson:
Me? Who the hell are you?

Samantha:
She's a fed.

Wes Wilson:
Wait, wait a sec. You both are in on this? I don't believe it.

Samantha:
I told you. She wants the diamonds.

Nicole Williams:
No, we want the list.

Wes Wilson:
I've cared about 2 women in my life and they've both lied to me. Not little white lies, but big, huge get-me-killed kind of lies.

Wes Wilson:
Hey, please don't put me in this trunk. Please. Come on. I'm claustrophobic.

Boone:
I don't care what kind of disease you have.

Samantha:
Where are you?

Wes Wilson:
Sam. Sam! Sam! I'm in the trunk of a car!

Samantha:
Well, what are you doing there?

Wes Wilson:
Oh, this is my thing. It's what I do. I'm just relaxing.

Samantha:
Where are they taking you?

Wes Wilson:
They failed to mention that before they threw me in here.

Samantha:
What happened? Are you okay?

Wes Wilson:
We just hit a bump. Major pothole. Drive a little safer, would you? Jackass!

Samantha:
Wes, if I hadn't died that night, we would both be dead right now.

Wes Wilson:
Oh, what? So you're gonna say you did all this sh*t for me? Thanks a lot.

Boone:
No ear?

Wes Wilson:
I'll put in my next book. How does that sound?

Isaac:
Like having my balls licked by a porcupine.

Isaac:
I know my diamonds are nearby. Shall we go get them? And no, that is not a question.

Samantha:
I need him to get the package.

Isaac:
[whispers] So many problems and distractions.

Wes Wilson:
I can't believe I signed a book for this guy.

Boone:
I couldn't help but overhear you guys talking. I understand you're an agent?

Martin:
That's right.

Boone:
I got this idea for a book. It's a cookbook with recipes for couples in trouble.

Martin:
Who else knows about this?

Boone:
Nobody. Well, a few, but they're not around anymore.

Martin:
Let's keep it that way. Martin Rivera. Nice to meet ya.