Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

Ned Plimpton:
I'm gonna fight you, Steve.

Steve Zissou:
You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch.

Steve Zissou:
Revenge.

Steve Zissou:
I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it.

Steve Zissou:
I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. Possibly with dynamite.

Klaus Daimler:
Who the sh*t is Kingsley Zissou?

Steve Zissou:
Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.

Steve Zissou:
Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?

Anne-Marie Sakowitz:
No, they have to share one.

Klaus Daimler:
Are you two fighting?

Steve Zissou:
I'll deal with you later.

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
I need a baby for this father.

Steve Zissou:
I think I know what you mean.

Alistair Hennessey:
Steven, are you rescuing me?

Alistair Hennessey:
Fold.

Steve Zissou:
You really think you can hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?

Steve Zissou:
Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing in your matching pajamas.

Steve Zissou:
Remind me to send him a red cap and a Speedo.

Ned Plimpton:
Are we being attacked by hijackers?

Steve Zissou:
Out here we call them "pirates".

Steve Zissou:
You're supposed to be my son, right?

Ned Plimpton:
I don't know. But I did want meet you, just in case.

Ned Plimpton:
I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life!

Steve Zissou:
I'll find it, but I won't kill it. Now, what about my dynamite?

Steve Zissou:
This is an adventure.

Steve Zissou:
Go downstairs and throw a tarp over anything that says "Operation Henessey" on it.

Alistair Hennessey:
We were both bad husbands, weren't we? But I had an excuse. I'm part gay.

Steve Zissou:
That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
You're too old for me, Steve.

Steve Zissou:
Yeah, well, you're pregnant.

Alistair Hennessey:
Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine?

Bill Ubell:
Well... uh... we f***in' stole it, man.

Steve Zissou:
Okay, action.

Steve Zissou:
Well, look who's back in town. You've traveled over 150 miles since we last heard from you. This son of a b*tch is heading for the South Pacific.

Steve Zissou:
Turn on your tape recorder, cubbie.

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
Is it the Jaguar Shark?

Steve Zissou:
On the record, yes. Cut. Print both takes, Vikram.

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
Was I... just in the film?

Steve Zissou:
Yeah. You're gonna have to sign a release.

Steve Zissou:
Don't be nice to Allie, he's my nemesis.

Klaus Daimler:
So, you really think you're a Zissou.

Ned Plimpton:
I don't know.

Klaus Daimler:
Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.

Ned Plimpton:
That's true. But it's important to me.

Klaus Daimler:
Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.

Ned Plimpton:
Klaus, don't call me "sonny."

Klaus Daimler:
And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show.

Klaus Daimler:
You hear me?

Ned Plimpton:
Yes, I do.

Ned Plimpton:
Klaus?

Klaus Daimler:
Ja?

Ned Plimpton:
If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is *that* understood?

Klaus Daimler:
Not if I don't see you first, sonny.

Steve Zissou:
That's it. I'm retired.

Alistair Hennessey:
I'm so pissed I could spit!

Ned Plimpton:
Why didn't you ever try to contact me?

Steve Zissou:
Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.

Steve Zissou:
If you're not against me, don't cross this line! If yes, do.

Steve Zissou:
I dunno, I think that bull-dyke reporter is gonna burn us.

Ned Plimpton:
I don't think she's a lesbian, dad. She's pregnant.

Steve Zissou:
Are you finding what you were looking for... out here with me? I hope so.

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
What are you doing in my effing room?

Steve Zissou:
Why don't you just cuss?

Jane Winslett-Richardson:
Because I'm trying to break the habit before I have my f***ing baby!

Steve Zissou:
Holy sh*t son of a b*tch.

Alistair Hennessey:
You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.

Eleanor Zissou:
Hello Skinny.

Alistair Hennessey:
Hello Eleanor.

Eleanor Zissou:
Is that a new merit badge?

Alistair Hennessey:
Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...

Steve Zissou:
Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.

Festival Director:
Ladies and gentlemen, we are very pleased to welcome you to the world premiere of Part 1 of the newest film from a great favorite of ours here at Loquasto, Mr. Steve Zissou. A brief Q & A will immediately follow the screening. Thank you.