Lilo & Stitch

Lilo:
Oh good! My dog found the chainsaw!

Stitch:
This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.

Lilo:
Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind. Or forgotten.

Lilo:
I'm sorry I bit you... and pulled your hair... and punched you in the face...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
Thus far, you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience.

Pleakley:
Oh great! He's loose!

Jumba:
His destructive programming is taking effect. He'll be irresistibly drawn to large cities where he'll back up plumbing, reverse street signs, and steal everyone's left shoe.

Stitch:
Aloha!

Gantu:
Ah! You're vile; you're foul; you're flawed!

Stitch:
Also cute and fluffy!

Nani:
Lilo! There you are, "Honey Face!" This is Mr..."Bubbles."

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
Nice to meet you.

Lilo:
Your knuckles say "cobra"..."Cobra Bubbles"... you don't... *look* like a social worker.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
I'm a special classification.

Lilo:
Did you ever kill anyone?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
We're getting off the subject. Let's talk about you. Are you... happy?

Lilo:
I'm adjusted.

Lilo:
I eat all four food groups, and look both ways before crossing the street... and take long naps...

Lilo:
and get disciplined?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
"Disciplined"?

Lilo:
Yeah! She disciplines me real good.

Lilo:
Sometimes five times a day! With bricks!

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
"Bricks"?

Lilo:
Uh huh... in a pillow case...

Nani:
Okay, that's enough sugar for you! Go out and play, you little cutie. The other social workers just thought she was a scream. Thirsty?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
Let me illuminate you on the percarious situation you've found yourself in. I am the one they call when things go wrong, and things have indeed gone wrong.

Nani:
I think it's a koala, an evil koala. I can't even pet him! He just keeps staring at me, like he's gonna eat me!

Lilo:
Leave me alone to diiiiie.

Captain Gantu:
Abomination!

Stitch:
Stupid-head!

Stitch:
Poocha Chubugga Oom Chickee! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Lilo:
Our family's little now, and we don't have many toys... But if you want, you could be a part of it. You could be our baby, and we'd raise you to be good.

Nani:
I shouldn't have yelled at you...

Lilo:
We're sisters... It's our job.

Nani:
Yeah, well, from now on...

Lilo:
I like you better as a sister than a mom.

Nani:
Yeah?

Lilo:
And you like me better as a sister than a rabbit, right?

Lilo:
A falling star... I call it!... Get out, get out! I have to make a wish!

Lilo:
Can't you go any faster?

Nani:
Oh no! Gravity is increasing on me!

Lilo:
No, it's not!

Nani:
Is too, Lilo; the same thing happened yesterday.

Lilo:
You rotten sister, your butt is crushing me! Why do you act so wierd?

Rescue Lady:
Oh yes, mmhmm, all of our dogs are adoptable

Rescue Lady:
Except that one!

Nani:
What is that thing?

Rescue Lady:
A dog, I think... But it was dead this morning...

Nani:
It was dead this morning?

Rescue Lady:
Well we thought it was dead, it was hit by a truck!

Lilo:
Did you lose your job because of Stitch and me?

Nani:
Nah... the manager's a vampire and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead.

Lilo:
I knew it!

Nani:
Did you catch fire again?

David:
No just the stage.

Lilo:
Don't worry. She likes your butt and fancy hair. I know. I read her diary.

David:
She thinks it's fancy?

Lilo:
Did you ever... kill anyone?

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
We're getting off-subject here.

Lilo:
Elvis Presley was a model citizen. I've compiled a list of his traits for you to practice. Number one... is dancing!

Jumba:
So, tell me, my little one-eyed one... on what poor, pitiful, defenseless planet has my "monstrosity" been unleashed?

Grand Councilwoman:
What if our military forces just landed there?

Pleakley:
Well that'll be a BAD IDEA! These are extremely simple creatures miss. Landing there would create mass mayhem and planet wide panic!

Rescue lady:
You have to think of a name for him.

Lilo:
His name is..."Stitch."

Rescue lady:
Now that's not a real name...

Rescue lady:
...in Iceland. But here it's a good name! "Stitch" it is.

Stitch:
Aloha!

Grand Councilwoman:
How do you plead?

Jumba:
Not guilty! My experiments are only theoretical, and completely within legal boundaries.

Grand Councilwoman:
We believe you actually... created something.

Jumba:
"Created something?" Hah! But that would be irresponsible and unethical. I would never, ever...

Jumba:
...make... more than one.

Nani:
You are so finished when I get in there! I'm gonna stuff you in the blender, push "puree," then bake you into a pie and feed it to the social worker! And when he says, "Mmmm, this is great, what's your secret?" I'm gonna say...

Nani:
..."Love... and... nurturing..."

Gantu:
What is that monstrosity?

Jumba:
Monstrosity? What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call it Experiment 626. It is fire-proof, bullet-proof, and can think faster than super computer. It can see in the dark, and lift objects three thousand times its size. It's only instinct... to destroy everything it touches! Ha ha ha ha!

Grand Councilwoman:
So it IS a monster.

Jumba:
Eh, just a little one.

Captain Gantu:
Place that idiot scientist under arrest.

Jumba:
I prefer to be called "Evil Genius".

Grand Councilwoman:
Are they intelligent?

Pleakley:
No. But they're very delicate. In fact, every time an asteroid strikes their planet, they have to begin life all over.

Nani:
Oh, you are such a pain.

Lilo:
Then why don't you sell me an' buy a rabbit instead?

Nani:
At least a rabbit would behave better than you!

Lilo:
Good! Then you'll be happy cuz it'll be smarter than me too!

Nani:
And quieter!

Lilo:
You'll like it cuz it's stinky like you!

Nani:
Go to your room!

Lilo:
I'm already in my room!

Pleakley:
Oh, can't complain, Mom. I'm camping out here with a convicted criminal. And, uh, oh; I had my head chewed on by a monster!

Nani:
You must be...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
The "stupidhead."

Nani:
Oh. Ohhhh! Listen, I am really sorry about that, and if I had known who you were, of course I would never ever... I can pay for that.

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
It's a rental. Are you the guardian in question?

Nani:
Yes, I'm Nani, nice to meet you Mr...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
Bubbles.

Nani:
Mr. "Bubbles?" That's a strange...

Mr. Cobra Bubbles:
Yes I know. Are you going to invite me in, "Nani?"

Lilo:
"Ohana" means "family." "Family" means "no one gets left behind." But if you want to leave, you can. I'll remember you though.

Lilo:
I remember everyone that leaves.

Jumba:
Yes, that's it; come quietly.

Stitch:
W-... wa-... waiting.

Jumba:
For what?

Stitch:
Family.

Jumba:
Ah. You don't have one. I made you.

Stitch:
Maybe... I...

Jumba:
You are built to destroy. You can never belong.

Nani:
You smell like a lawn mower.

Lilo:
This is your badness level. It's unusually high for someone your size.

Stitch:
Merry Christmas.

Jumba:
It's not Christmas.

Stitch:
Happy Channukah!

Jumba:
One potato...

Stitch:
...two potato...

Jumba:
...three potato...

Stitch:
...four...

Jumba:
...five potato...

Stitch:
...six potato...

Jumba:
...seven potato, more...

Stitch:
...and...

Jumba:
...my...

Stitch:
...mother...

Jumba:
...told...

Stitch:
...me...

Jumba:
...you...

Stitch:
...are...

Jumba:
...it. I win!

Lilo:
You came back.

Stitch:
"Nobody gets left behind."

Nani:
...something that won't die. Something... sturdy... you know?

Lilo:
Like a lobster!

Nani:
Lilo, you lolo! Do we have a lobster door? No! We have a dog door! We are getting a dog!

Lilo:
We're leaving Stitch?

Pleakley:
Trust me, this is NOT going to end well!

Nani:
Now talk! I know you can.

Stitch:
Ok, ok.

Lilo:
Don't leave me, ok?

Stitch:
Ok.

Pleakley:
Look! A mosquito has chosen me as her perch. She's so beautiful. There's another one, and another. It's a whole flock. They like me. They're nuzzling my flesh with their noses. Now they're... they're... Aaaaaaaah!

Captain Gantu:
Aw. Uncomfortable? Good! The council has sentenced you to exile on a deserted asteroid. So relax, enjoy the trip... and don't get any ideas. These guns are linked to your genetic signature. They won't shoot anyone but you.

Grand Councilwoman:
Experiment 626. Give us a sign you understand any of this. Show us that there is something inside you that is good.

Stitch:
Meega, nala kwishta!

Grand Councilwoman:
How naughty!

Jumba:
I did not teach him that.

Lilo:
Stitch is troubled. He needs desserts.

Pleakley:
Stop! I have just determined the situation to be far too hazardous!

Jumba:
Don't worry. I won't hit her.

Pleakley:
No! That girl is part of the mosquito food chain.

Pleakley:
Here, educate yourself.

Jumba:
Using that little girl for a shield.

Jumba:
This is low even for you!

Lilo:
I got a new dog. His name is Stitch.

Lilo:
I got a new dog. His name is Stitch.

Myrtle Edmonds:
That is the ugliest dog I've ever saw.

Grand Councilwoman:
A quiet rescue would require a knowledge of 626 that we do not posssess. Who then, Mr. Pleakly, would you send for his extraction?

Pleakley:
Does he have a brother?

Pleakley:
Close grandmother, perhaps?

Pleakley:
Second cousin? Neighbor with a beard?

Jumba:
626 was designed to be a monster, but now there is nothing to destroy. You see, I never gave him a higher purpose. What must it be like to have nothing, not even memories to visit in the middle of the night?

Pleakley:
Earth is a protected wildlife refuge. See, we're using it to replenish the mosquito population, which I remind you is an endangered species.

[Original opening]

Grand Councilwoman:
Prepare yourselves. Three months ago, an unauthorized military experiment was uncovered in which a creature was modified at the genetic level. Open it. [tube opens] He is called Experiment 6-2-6. [Stitch snarls at the guards] Thoroughly unpleasant. His recent attack on the peaceful populace of the planet Piston is a mere addition to the nauseating list of mischief and hooliganism that has earned him the prestigious title of Public Nuisance Number One. Experiment 6-2-6, you have given no indication that you are anything but dangerous, but I can give you this one chance. Show us that there is something inside you that is good.

Gantu:
Answer, you piece of garbage!

Stitch:
[clears throat] Meega nala kweesta! ["I wanna destroy!"]

Audience:
[gasps]

Grand Councilwoman:
So naughty!

Stitch:
[laughs hysterically]

Grand Councilwoman:
I herby sentence you to life imprisonment on a maximum security asteroid. Captain Gantu, take him away.

Gantu:
With pleasure!

[Final cut opening]

Grand Councilwoman:
Read the charges.

Gantu:
Dr. Jumba Jookiba, lead scientist of Galaxy Defense Industries, you stand before this council, accused. Of illegal genetic experimentation! [a door opens revealing a spaceship]

Grand Councilwoman:
How do you plead?

Jumba:
Not guilty. My experiments are only theoretical completely within legal boundaries. [as he says this, the spaceship opens]

Grand Councilwoman:
We believe you actually created something.

Jumba:
Created something? Ha! But that would be irresponsible! And unethical! I would never, ever... [Stitch is revealed] make more than one.

Gantu:
What is that monstrosity?

Jumba:
Monstrosity?! What you see before you is the first of a new species. I call him Experiment 6-2-6. He is bullet-proof, fire-proof, and can think faster than supercomputer. He can see in the dark, and move objects three thousand times his size! His only instinct: TO DESTROY EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES! [laughing maniacally]

Grand Councilwoman:
So it is a monster.

Jumba:
[nonchalantly] Hey, just a little one.

Gantu:
It's an affront to nature! It must be destroyed!

Grand Councilwoman:
Calm yourself, Captain Gantu. Perhaps it can be reasoned with. [to Stitch] Experiment 6-2-6, give us some sign you understand any of this. Show us that there is something inside you that is good.

Stitch:
[clears throat] Meega nala kweesta! ["I wanna destroy!"]

Audience:
[gasps]

Grand Councilwoman:
So naughty!

Stitch:
[laughs hysterically]

Jumba:
I didn't teach him that!

Gantu:
Place that idiot scientist under arrest!

Jumba:
I prefer to be called that EVIL GENIUS!

Grand Councilwoman:
And as for that abomination, it is the pure product of a deranged mind. It has no place with us. Captain Gantu, take him away.

Gantu:
With pleasure.

Computer:
Hyperdrive activated. System chargin'.

Polit:
He's engaged his H-drive.

Computervoice:
Warning: guidance is not functional.

Gantu:
Pursuit Commander, that crazy trog is about to make a jump!

Commander:
Break formation! Get clear of that ship!

Computervoices:
Navigation failure. You do not engaged hyper--

[In Jumba's cell after Stitch has escaped]

Jumba:
[chuckles] He got away?

Grand Councilwoman:
I'm sure this comes as no surprise to you.

Jumba:
I designed this creature for it to be unstoppable.

Grand Councilwoman:
Which is precisely why you must now bring him back.

Jumba:
What, me?

Grand Councilwoman:
And to reward you, we are willing to trade your freedom for his capture.

Jumba:
[sighs] 6-2-6 will not come easily... Maybe direct hit from plasma-cannon might stun him long enough to--

Grand Councilwoman:
[interrupting, exasperated] Plasma-cannon granted. Do we have a bargain, Dr. Jumba?

Jumba:
[grunts and nods]

Pleakley:
B-b-but it's a delicate planet! Who's going to control him?

Grand Councilwoman:
You will. [leaves]

Pleakley:
Very good, your highness. I... I didn’t quite. Uh, you’re not joking.

Jumba:
So, tell me my little one eyed one.

[After Lilo shows up to hula dance class late, soaking wet, Mertle, Elena, Teresa and Yuki slip in the puddles, one by one.]

Moses Puloki:
Stop, stop. Lilo, why are you all wet?

Lilo:
It's sandwich day.

[Puloki looks confused]

Lilo:
[sighs] Every Thursday, I take Pudge the fish a peanut butter sandwich.

Puloki:
[still confused] Pudge is a fish?

Lilo:
[continues] And today we were out of peanut butter! So I asked my sister what to give him, and she said a tuna sandwich! I can't give Pudge tuna! [Whispers] Do you know what tuna is?

Puloki:
Fish?

Lilo:
It's FISH! If I gave pudge tuna, I'd be an abomination! I'm late because I had to go to the store, and get peanut butter, 'cause all we have is...is... IS STINKIN' TUNA!!!

Puloki:
Lilo, Lilo. Why is this so important?

Lilo:
[seriously] Pudge controls the weather.

[Everyone exchanges surprised looks]

Mertle:
You're crazy.

Puloki:
[Lilo furiously starts jumping on Mertle, angrily punching her in the face and kicking her, then the other girls gather around screaming and Puloki picks up Lilo.] Please! PLEASE! Everybody calm down! [Mertle cries sniffles] Girls... (speaking Hawaiian "It doesn't matter") Shh. Don't cry Mertle. Lilo...

Lilo:
I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I won't do it again!

Puloki:
Maybe we should call your sister.

Lilo:
No! I'll be good! I want to dance. I practiced. I just want to dance. I practiced.

[Pause]

Mertle:
Ooh, she bit me.

Elena, Teresa and Yuki:
Ewwwwwww!

Cobra Bubbles:
[reaching down to shake hands with Lilo] Nice to meet you.

Lilo:
[tilting her head as if to read something] Your knuckles say "Cobra." [Cobra Bubbles withdraws his hand, his knuckles crack] "Cobra Bubbles." You don’t look like a social worker.

Cobra Bubbles:
I’m a special classification.

Lilo:
Did you every to kill anyone else who song to be owns?

Cobra Bubbles:
[frowning] We’re getting off the subject. Today let's talk about you. Are you...happy?

Lilo:
[opens her mouth wide to show a fake smile, sounding slightly bored, speaking in response to Nani’s pantomiming behind Cobra] I’m adjusted. I eat four food groups and look both ways when crossing the street. And take long naps... [Nani clenches a fist in a "Doing well" sign] and get disciplined?

[Nani cringes]

Cobra Bubbles:
Disciplined?

[Lilo continues, with Nani silently getting more and more frantic.]

Lilo:
Yeah, she disciplines me real good. Sometimes five times a day. [Nani places her head in her hands in despair] With bricks. [Nani looks up in horror]

Cobra Bubbles:
Bricks?

Lilo:
Uh-huh. In a pillowcase.

Nani:
[clamps her hand over Lilo's mouth] Okay! That's enough sugar for you! [pushes Lilo in the direction out of the room and speaks through her clenched teeth] Why dontcha run along, ya little cutie? [nervously laughs, looking at Cobra Bubbles] The other social workers just thought she was a scream... Thirsty? [walks to the fridge awkwardly]

Cobra Bubbles:
[open refrigerator] Let me illuminate to you the precarious situation in which you have found yourself. [closed refrigerator] I am the one they call when things go wrong. And things have indeed gone wrong.

Lilo:
Hm. [makes her enemies of spoons and furiously puts them in the jar] My friends need to be punished and to has should to go.

Nani:
[turns red in anger]

Cobra Bubbles:
Call me next time you left here alone.

Lilo:
Yep.

Cobra Bubbles:
In case you're wondering, this did not go well. (effortlessly pulls open the previously nailed-up door) You have 3 days to change my mind. [closes the door as Nani glares at Lilo]

Nani:
[Lilo started shrieking and screaming and runs away, Nani went chasing her, and restrains her, but gets licked] Ew! LILO! [boot screeches as she went into the laundry room, open and closes her door, Lilo peeks out of the dryer and onto the blanket, Nani snatches the blanket with Lilo in it, growls and hisses brought back into the living room and grabbed Lilo's wrist] Why didn't you wait at the school?! You were supposed to wait to their! [slams her fist down; Lilo struggles to break free] Lilo! Do you not understand?! Do you want to be taken away?! [short pause] Answer me!

Lilo:
No!

Nani:
No, you don't understand?!

Lilo:
No!

Nani:
"No", WHAT!?!?!?

Lilo:
NOOOOOOOOOO!! [drops to the floor in moans and cat meows]

Nani:
[groans in anger] Why didn't get to talked him? You're such a pain!

Lilo:
So why don't you sell me and buy a rabbit instead?!

Nani:
AT LEAST A RABBIT WOULD BEHAVE BETTER THAN YOU!!

Lilo:
Go ahead! Then you'll be happy! Because it'll be smarter than me, 2!

Nani:
AND QUIETER!

Lilo:
You'll like it, 'cause it's stinky like YOU!! [enters her bedroom and slams the door]

Nani:
[furiously screaming in frustration] GO TO YOUR ROOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!

Lilo:
[opens door, shouting] I'M ALREADY IN MY ROOM!! [slams the door harder in cat meows and Nani angrily stomps into the living room, grabs a pillow off a chair, then she presses her face into it and shrieks with rage, then it cuts to Lilo upstairs, in her room, where she does the same thing and dog barks]

Nani:
Hey, I brought you some pizza. In case you’re hungry.

Lilo:
We’re a broken family, aren’t we.

Nani:
No. Maybe a little.

Lilo:
[trying to push Nani out of her room] Can't you go any faster?!

Nani:
[leaning back] Oh, no! Gravity is increasing on me!

Lilo:
No, it's not!

Nani:
Is too, Lilo. The same thing happened yesterday. [Accidentally falls on top of Lilo]

Lilo:
You rotten sister, your butt is crushing me! Why do you act so WEIRD?! [angrily shuts the door, hitting Nani’s head]

[Nani and Lilo are at an animal shelter looking for a pet dog.]

Nani:
[to shelter worker] We're looking for something that can defend itself... something that won't die, something... sturdy, you know?

Lilo:
Like a lobster!

Nani:
Lilo, you lolo. Do we have a lobster door? No, we have a dog door. We are getting a dog.

[Stitch sneaks out of the shelter, ducked from aiming plasma gun]

Jumba:
Haha! So nice to see your pretty face again!

Stitch:
Jumba?

[Lilo comes back to the lobby with Stitch]

Shelter Worker:
Oh, yes, all our dogs are adoptable... [jumps, startled] EXCEPT THAT ONE!!! [runs and takes Stitch away from Lilo as Nani pulls Lilo away from Stitch]

Nani:
What is that thing?

Shelter Worker:
A dog...I think, but it was dead this morning.

Nani:
It was dead this morning?!

Shelter Worker:
Well, we thought it was dead; it was hit by a truck!

Lilo:
I like him! Come here, boy.

[Stitch forcefully, against the shelter worker's grip, walks himself forward to get to Lilo as she so called him to her, climbing up onto Nani and Lilo's laps]

Nani:
[screams and pushes Stitch away from her and Lilo; she composes herself and asks] Wouldn't you like a different dog?

Shelter Worker:
[a bit breathless] We have better dogs, dear.

Lilo:
Not better than him! He can talk. Say hello.

Stitch:
He... Hel...

Shelter Worker:
Dogs can't talk, dear.

Stitch:
[narrows his eyes and bares his teeth in frustration]

Lilo:
He did.

Nani:
Does it have to be this dog?

Stitch:
[pants a few times before lolling his tongue out, sticking it up his nose and pulling out a big green bogie, eating it, smacking his lips]

Lilo:
Yes. He's good. I can tell.

Shelter Worker:
[filling out paperwork at the front desk] You'll have to think of a name for him.

Lilo:
His name is... Stitch.

Shelter Worker:
That's not a real name. [Nani shakes her head quickly and waves her hand as if saying 'No! Don't say that!'] ...in...Iceland. But here it's a good name. Stitch, it is. And there's a $2.00 license fee.

Lilo:
I want to buy him! [whispers] Can I borrow $2?

Nani:
[with a semi-irritated look, Nani takes the money from the shelter worker and hands it to Lilo. Lilo then taps the money on her shoulder and hands it back to her, handing it to the shelter worker]

Shelter Worker:
[stamps the adoption papers and hands the paper to Lilo with a friendly smile] He's all yours.

Lilo:
My friends!

[Mertle and her friends run away from Lilo]

Mertle:
What do you want?

Lilo:
I'm sorry I bit you and pulled your hair and punched you in the face.

Mertle:
Apology not accepted. Now get out of my way before I run you over. [Yelps in terror as Stitch startles her]

Lilo:
I got a new dog. His name is Stitch.

Mertle:
That is the ugliest thing I have ever saw.

Kids:
Yeeeeeah!

Mertle:
Eww! Get it away from me! I'm gonna get a disease! [Stitch takes a bicycle off from Her, then she Starts Crying, Which Lilo Hops On With Stitch] Somebody do something!

Nani:
Lilo, give the bicycle back.

Lilo:
This is a great home. You liked it a lot. See.

Stitch:
[Hissing]

Nani:
Uh, Lilo.

Lilo:
Comfy.

Stitch:
[grabs a pillow and began to rip it which pisses Nani off]

Nani:
[pissed off] HEY! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?!

Lilo:
Be careful of the little angel.

Nani:
He's not an angel, Lilo. I don't even think he's a dog. We just have to take him back.

Lilo:
He's just cranky 'cause it's his bedtime.

Nani:
He's creepy, Lilo. I won't sleep while he's loose in the house.

Lilo:
You'll loose in the house all the time and I'll sleep just fine.

Stitch:
Bootiful ["Cool"] [turns on the blender and accidentally opens it which blasts in his face]

Lilo:
Hey, What are you doing? Stop that, Stitch. [That pisses Nani off even more]

Nani:
[pissed off] Hey. [angrily grabs the blender from Stitch, turns it off and grabs Stitch by the head] Look at him, Lilo. He's obviously mutated from something else. We have to take him back.

Lilo:
He was an orphan, and we adopted him! What about 'ohana?

Captain Gantu:
Little savage! GET OFF MY SHIP! [Gantu's lasers point at Stitch and he falls down]

Lilo:
STITCH!

[Captain Gantu closes in on Stitch, who is on top of a tanker truck he drove into a volcano]

Captain Gantu:
Abomination.

Stitch:
Stupid-head... [He rips open the tanker, spilling gasoline into the magma; the resulting explosion launches him towards Gantu's ship] Yeehaw! [Crashes through the windshield into the cockpit] Aloha! [Laughs]

Captain Gantu:
[Furiously trying to pound Stitch with his fist] You're vile! You're FOUL! YOU'RE FLAWED!

Stitch:
[Grabs Gantu's hand...] Also cute and FLUFFY! [...and throws him through the windshield onto the wing of Jumba's ship below]

Grand Councilwoman:
You?! You're the cause of all this! If it wasn't for your Experiment 6-2-6, none of this-

Stitch:
[interrupting] Stitch!

Grand Councilwoman:
What?

Stitch:
My name Stitch.

Grand Councilwoman:
Stitch, then. If it wasn't for Stitch- [realizes what just happened, turns back to Stitch]

Stitch:
Does Stitch have to go in the ship?

Grand Councilwoman:
[shocked, hesitant] ...Yes.

Stitch:
Can Stitch say goodbye?

Grand Councilwoman:
Yes.

Stitch:
Thank you. [walks over to Nani and Lilo]

Grand Councilwoman:
[looks at Nani and Lilo] Who are you?

Stitch:
This is my family. I found it all on my own. It's little and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.

Cobra Bubbles:
[whispering] Lilo. Didn't you find that thing at a shelter?

Lilo:
Hey! Three days ago, I bought Stitch at the shelter. I paid two dollars for him. See this stamp? I own him. If you take him, you're stealing.

Cobra Bubbles:
Aliens are all about rules.

Great Councilwoman:
You look familiar.

Cobra Bubbles:
CIA. Roswell. 1973.

Great Councilwoman:
Ah, yes. You had hair then.

[Stitch grabs Jumba's plasma gun, but Jumba plugs it with a carrot]

Jumba:
You shouldn't play with guns.

Stitch:
[giving it to him] Oh, okay.

Jumba:
Thank you. [hears the gun beeping, realizes it's overloading and throws it back to Stitch] Oh, uh, I just remembered - it's your birthday! Happy birthday!

Stitch:
[throws it to him] Err, Merry Christmas!

Jumba:
[throws it back] It's not Christmas!

Stitch:
[throws it back] Happy Hanukah!

[as Jumba and Stitch play hot potato with the overloading gun, Pleakley grabs Lilo and runs out of the house]

Jumba:
[in background, overlapped by Lilo] It's not Hanukah!

Lilo:
We're leaving Stitch?!

Pleakley:
Trust me, this is not gonna end well!

[back to Jumba and Stitch]

Jumba:
One potato!

Stitch:
Two potato!

Jumba:
Three potato!

Stitch:
Four!

Jumba:
Five potato!

Stitch:
Six potato!

Jumba:
Seven potato, more!

Stitch:
My...

Jumba:
mother...

Stitch:
told...

Jumba:
me...

Stitch:
YOU...

Jumba:
ARE...

Stitch:
It.

Jumba:
HA! I win!

[the gun explodes; destroying Lilo's house]

[Nani heads back to the Pelekai house and finds the front door locked]

Nani:
Lilo! Open the door, Lilo!

Lilo:
[from inside] Go away.

Nani:
[pokes her head through the doggy door and finds her little sister, laying on the floor under the couch with a record player sitting next to her] Lilo? We don't have time for this.

Lilo:
Leave me alone to die.

Nani:
Come on, Lilo, the social worker's gonna be here any minute!

[as Pleakley get themself comfortable for the night, Jumba looks at Stitch through his binoculars]

Jumba:
[laughs in amusement] This little girl is wasting her time. 626 cannot be taught to ignore its destructive programming. Ooh! Push that over. [to Pleakley] What are you doing?

Pleakley:
[quickly takes his wig off] Nothing!

Jumba:
Uh, say, I want to try it on.

Pleakley:
No!

Jumba:
Share! Let me try it!

Pleakley:
Hey! Ow! You’re just jealous 'cause I'm pretty! [notices a mosquito] Don't move. A mosquito has chosen me as her perch. She's so beautiful. [more mosquitoses flies in] Look, another one. And another one! [a whole mosquito swarm flies in, covers him] Why, it's a whole flock. And they like me! They're nuzzling my flesh with their noses. Now they're, um, they're-- [realizes the mosquitoes are sucking his blood; the scene cuts to a different shot as Pleakley screams painfully, offscreen]

[After Lilo's house is destroyed]

Lilo:
[explaining to Cobra about what happened] One of them had a giant eye in the middle of his face.

Nani:
[enters the scene] Oh, Lilo. [Cobra puts Lilo in his car and shuts the car door] Please, don't do this.

Cobra:
You know I have no choice.

Nani:
NO! You're not taking her! I'm the only one who understands her! You take that away, she won't stand a chance!

Cobra:
You're making this harder than it needs to be.

Nani:
You don't know what you're doing! She needs me!

Cobra:
[angrily points at her destroyed house] Is this what she needs?! It seems clear to me that you need her a lot more than she needs you. [Lilo gets out of his car on the other side and flees into the tropical forest] Lilo! LILO!

Nani:
Lilo!

[Stitch looks at Lilo's family portrait; Lilo then enters the tropic woods, where Stitch surprises her and hands her the portrait]

Lilo:
[quietly and coldly] You've ruined everything. [Stitch hesitantly reveals his true alien form] You're one of them? [angrily shoves him away; quietly] Get out of here, Stitch. [She and Stitch then suddenly get captured by Gantu]

Gantu:
Surprise! [laughs evilly] And here I thought you'd be difficult to catch. Ho-ho-ho. Silly me.

Nani:
[searching for Lilo] Lilo? Lilo! [gets passed by Gantu, and she screams in horror; hears Stitch growling and gasps in shock]

[Gantu heads to his ship and puts Lilo and Stitch in his traveling glass capsule.]

Gantu:
There you go, all buckled up for the trip. [puts his capsule on the back of his ship] And, look, I even caught you a little snack.

[Gantu gets on his ship and starts his engine.]

Nani:
[gasps] NO, STOP! [gets blown down to the ground]

[Stitch gets himself out of Gantu's capsule. Gantu's ship then takes off to the sky, leaving Stitch falling to the ground]

Nani:
Lilo.

Nani:
[smacks Stitch with tree branch; angrily] Okay, talk. I know you had something to do with this. Now, where is Lilo? [Stitch doesn't answer] Talk! I know you can.

Stitch:
[shakes his head and sighs; annoyed] Okay, okay.

Nani:
[screams and smacks Stitch with tree branch; Stitch groans] Where's Lilo?

Stitch:
[sighs] Lilo-- [gets zapped by plasma cannon blast]

Jumba:
[after he captures Stitch] Ha-ha! Now all your washing is up!

Pleakley:
[shows his ID] You're under arrest! Read him his rights.

Jumba:
Listen carefully. [starts laughing while beating up Stitch]

Pleakley:
Hello, Galactic command? Experiment 626 is in custody. We'll wait right here. [hangs up]

[Nani gets up and sees Jumba and Pleakley.]

Pleakley:
[whispers to Jumba] Don't interact with her.

[Nani then slowly walks to them.]

Nani:
Where's Lilo?

Jumba:
Who? [Pleakley angrily slaps him] What?

Nani:
Lilo. My sister.

Jumba:
Uh, sorry. We do not know anyone by this, uh--

Nani:
Lilo! She's a little girl, this big! She has black hair and brown eyes, and she hangs around with that THING!!

Stitch:
Uh--

Jumba:
[sighs; solemnly] We know her.

Nani:
Bring her back.

Pleakley:
Oh, we can't do that. Uh-uh. That would be a misuse of Galactic resources.

Jumba:
See, problem is...we're just here for him.

Nani:
[sadly] So, she's gone?

Pleakley:
Look at the bright side. You won't have to yell at anyone anymore. [chuckles nervously]

[Nani then sadly kneels to the ground and starts sobbing in dispair.]

Jumba:
Come.

[Stitch, Jumba and Pleakley turns to leave. But Stitch stops and walks back to Nani to comfort her.]

Stitch:
Ohana.

Nani:
Huh?

Jumba:
Hey! [snatches Stitch] Get away from her.

Nani:
No! [quickly pulls Stitch back from Jumba; to Stitch] What did you say?

Stitch:
"Ohana" means family. Family means nobody--

Nani:
Nobody gets left behind.

Stitch:
Or forgotten. Yeah. [to Jumba] Hey! [speaks alien]

Jumba:
WHAT?! [angrily grabs Stitch] After all you put me through, you expect me to help you just like that? JUST LIKE THAT?!

Stitch:
Ih.

Jumba:
Fine. [takes space handcuffs off of him]

Pleakley:
Fine? You're doing what he says?

Jumba:
Uh, he's very persuasive.

Pleakley:
"Persuasive"?! What exactly are we doing?

Jumba:
Rescue.

Nani:
[delightfully] We're gonna get Lilo?

Stitch:
Ih.

Lilo:
Don't leave me, okay?

Stitch:
[worried] Okay. Okay. [hears truck horn and sees said truck; determined] Okay.